| Show t A real obsession with 4 IouI If h r appearance Vicki McPhail Staff Writer Americans have a real obsession with ap ap- ap- ap It starts at a very young age Take for instance my two sons ages nine and 10 When my husband bought our year 10 old Brian a pair of acid- acid washed jeans I knew there would be trouble After wearing them for three days straight I had to pry them off him for washing Brian who hasn't gained an ounce in years claimed his other jeans were too tight However he promptly decided to re-evaluate re his definition of tight when I began ironing his dress pants After all no one would be caught dead at school in Sunday clothes Of course there are advantages to our youngsters' youngsters enslavement to fashion like the time Brians Brian's fourth grade teacher called to tell my husband that Brian had refused to participate participate participate par par- in the class square dance All of the theother theother theother other boys had reluctantly joined in but Brian maintained that there was no way he was going to dance with any girl His dad told him that he either square dance the next day or forfeit his washed acid-washed jeans Brian squared danced My year old also has some fashion concerns The day after our last Arctic blast Grant who wont won't wear a coat unless the mercury mercury mercury mer mer- cury dips below freezing also refused to wear his snow boots to school Finally I urged him out the door wearing the boots A half hour later I discovered him standing in the front yard crying He was even throwing himself into the snow better known as a temper tantrum He kept screaming somebody might think Im I'm a nerd as I dragged him all the way to school Fortunately none of the neighbors called the police The lady in the school office tried to explain explain explain ex ex- ex- ex plain to him that everybody else wore boots too except of course a few silly girls who had come in high heels But then that's another story To be fair though my children arent aren't the only ones stricken with the appearance dis dis- dis- dis ease A first grade son refused to wear a handsome sport shirt with a burgundy stripe He insisted the stripe was purple and everybody knows that purple is a girl color But then again this is the same kid who wouldn't go on his class field trip to the zoo Why Because it stinks at the zoo Likewise doesn't my year six-year-old daughter like her freckles because brown is boy color She would prefer purple |
