| Show childhood Lost Then Come the Tears by bj Trudi Smith As I sat in the car listening listening listening lis lis- to the deputy tell us what had happened my immediate immediate immediate im im- mediate response was disbelief disbelief disbelief dis dis- belief in what Mary had said I went into shock and nothing really hit me until later in the week I discussed it with my husband Bill who at that time denied the I really didn't know whom to believe although I thought of my child first As in most cases of child abuse of this kind the mother is torn between two persons whom she loves very much Jeri the mother found herself in the middle of an emotional battle of the worst kind Where do you go from this point to pull it all together into some sort of sanity A hearing was scheduled in Juvenile Court the following week Both parents Mary and the social worker were in attendance It was a very traumatic experience for the family members The daughter was firm in her accusations accusations accusations ac ac- and with tears in her eyes told Jeri that she only wanted it to stop With such innocence in Marys Mary's eyes how could her mother disbelieve her It was at this point that the truth struck home The whole thing was true Now where do we wego wego go as asked e Jeri en The judged ordered the children put into a shelter home for an unspecified amount of time He ordered that the step-father step undergo evaluation and counselling and that at such time as a psychologist specifies the children would be returned home I viewed the counselling in a positive way I tried not notto notto notto to dwell too much on the whys why's or wherefores wherefore's in this situation I did feel a twinge of guilt creeping up on me I knew we needed counselling and I was all for it I wanted my girls back After five weeks of evaluation evaluation evaluation tion the psychologist met with wit h social workers and agreed that the children could return home It was thought that things could be worked out best with the family unit whole again It was a happy time but unfortunately I let the whole incident slip from my mind I didn't keep my eyes open and what seemed idyllic was really a hell turned loose It was my daughters who were suffering and I didn't want to see it happening again Bill came carne from a very large family There are three brothers and three sisters and they seem to be very close As you look at this group everything seems totally nor nor- mal But as the counseling through the months progressed progressed progressed pro pro- gressed it was realized that here lies most of the influences which have put Bill in the place he lie occupies now Early childhood environment programmed programmed programmed pro pro- Bill the wrong way he lie was basically a computer computer computer com com- puter gone awry Over a period of time total reprogramming reprogramming reprogramming gramming was needed and that still has lias not been com com- I was taught by example that some actions were okay I felt it was right to check the maturity of my daughters that it was normal to touch areas that I now realize are off limits Because of the thc normal things I was taught and the very influences that I Iwas Iwas Iwas was living under I became a achild achild achild child abuser one of the persons persons per per- sons you look on as scum and filth because that is what society labels us I committed an act against society 2 morality and all that is holy I pray each day for forgiveness After the girls were re returned returned returned re- re turned home in August things went basically back to normal Jeri was afraid of losing the man she loved and thinking that he had been cured let her guard slip Bill was still weak It takes longer than five weeks to undo the damages of a life life- time As September slipped into October and October into November some of the same patterns began happening happening happening hap hap- pening again Bill stayed away from home claiming to be working longer hours while in reality he lie was seeing other women the names of whom he lie didn't know and didn't want to know I was trapped There was no one I could go to So I Iwen wen went t on my ego trip I t tried everyone could I fould could and I usually got what I ly My d daughters were there and they were tried too loo In feb February uary 1979 a re review review review re- re view of the case was scheduled scheduled scheduled in Juvenile Court Previously Previously Previously Pre Pre- to the time scheduled the case Social Worker visited Mary at the school she at at- at tended After the visit he lie telephoned Jeri at her em em- In a very unfeeling way he lie informed her that the sexual child abuse was again happening and he was pulling the girls out of their schools that afternoon and returning them to shelter homes Jeri lost control Soon afterward every member of this family would lose a portion portion portion por por- tion of the control that had held them together this long Even the small sons aged 6 and 9 felt the blows In part three we will see how this family survives over the next year and the legal steps which have been taken to win this battle against City Hall Watch for part three CHILDHOOD LOST THEN WE SURVIVE in the next issue of Points West Vest |
