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Show rhl.PhilliPr W ROBBERY UNDER DIFFICULTIES ("Thieves Loot O. P. A. Offices" heudline.) Butch What's the job this time, p'al? Slugs Quiet. This Is an OPA office. of-fice. Butch If it's an OPA office it can't be quiet. Listen, I don't like the idea. It'll get us into trouble. Slugs What makes you think so? Butch The OPA gets everybody into trouble. Slugs Got cold feet, ch? Butch Yeah. They're frozen at the April level! Slugs Let's have your flashlight. Butch I ain't got no flashlight. Slugs Why not? You're always supposed to carry a flashlight on a job. Butch They're rationed !v Where's yours? You had one when we came in. Slugs The battery's gone dead. Butch You should carry an extra ex-tra battery. Slugs I ain't had the coupons I Butch I can't do anything in the total darkness. Slugs Thai's screwy, Millions of people are in the dark with OPA and they have to get along somehow. some-how. Butch Here's the safe. Got a drill? Slugs You know better. They stopped making drills for our business. busi-ness. Eutch How about the soup? Slugs That's rationed, too! It's all being used in the war effort. Butch We can't blow a safe without with-out juice. Slugs You know very well it takes too many points to get juices. To hell with 'em. We'll force it open. Got the crowbar? Butch No. Slugs I told ya to get a crowbar, didn't I? Butch I had one. But it wore out and I couldn't get it recapped. Slugs Why not? Butch I forgot to take it in twice a year for inspection. Slugs Well, what'll we do now? Butch Search me. (The lights flash on and an OPA chief enters.) OPA Chief What's going on here? Butch Believe it or not we was waiting for a trolley car. OPA Chief Congratulations! I'm glad to find a couple of fellows here who are NOT LOOKING FOR GAS! ADOLF EXPLAINS ALL ("Strength of arms means nothing. It is the unbending determination at home to hold out und never waver that counts." Hitler to his people.) Some people laud the German arms They speak of Prussian force; They emphasize my blitzes in The world war's early course; But planes and tanks and elite troops Don't mean a thing to me; The home folks (if they can stand it) Are my key to victory. They talk of monster armies and My armaments so vast; They point to acts of sheer brute strength Within the German past; But, ach. I seldom think of these; I smack the weak about With little but a firm belief My people can hold out! The day I tore all treaties up And Eelgium felt my boot; When I blitzed children in the streets And stayed to burn and loot The fact I had the upper hand To me had not appealed . . . I did it all because I knew THAT GERMANS WOULDN'T YIELD! My double-cross of Russia was Not based on strength at all; It wasn't overpowering force That gave my hosts the call; Those towns to which I gave the tortu Have got Der Fuehrer wrong . . . I dared to do it for I knew THE GERMAN WILL WAS STRONG! The little tricks a Nazi loves (Those booby traps and such); That Naples post-office affair (It bore the Nazi touch); These do not spring from German strength; Such acts I always back Because (ach Golt, I hope I'm right!) THE GERMANS NEVER CRACK! 'The Bowling Alley Proprietors As-Variation As-Variation of New York has asked for war prisoners to set up pins in alleys. al-leys. It would increase our interest in bowling if we could count on a Jap or Nazi general down at the far end of the alley. "Hitler would laugh his head oil if he collected garbage over here and saw the waste." Ladies Home Journal ad. Still, it would be worth it to see him on 'he job. |