| Show WEDDING GIFTS tooh pooh presents said the old married man to the bridegroom dont think get what you want ill tell you my experience As the time for our marriage drew near I 1 used to call at the house every available evening and whisper confidentially denti ally to the curly bead which exactly fitted my shoulder that I 1 was the luckiest fellow on earth on one occasion agnes sighed and murmured dreamily that that was just what she felt that was on the fth on the I 1 stopped in a minute at noon to see it she loved me as much asa as at t 1115 the night before she replied that she did that love was unalterable but that she must hurry upstairs now or the dressmaker would get her skirts flute shaped instead of organ piped on the the present began to arrive also the relatives it became an unsettled problem which of the two were more numerous aggie had bad cousins once removed I 1 had bad several uncles and aunts all were well off in fact it was a curious coincidence that we were the only poor branches on our res far family tilly trees I 1 was in an insurance office lire insurance not life insurance aud and when I 1 had communicated munica ted to her the news of my recent promotion she had declared in the face of her fam ilys unaccountable preference for henry walker who was not so good a fellow its as I 1 am ain by any manner of means that to be mrs joseph lounsbury and live in a small house on a N ely cry small income and bliss was precisely tier her idral ideal of existence so co we were not marrying as a speculation nevertheless since marriage comes so seldom in ones olles life we had biad hopes that our moneyed relatives would do the handsome thing they did first came a set bet of knives forks and spoons tit in a polished wood case they were ere from the cousin aggie I lad iad ad been named for such a sensible preen an ent fl said tier her mother they will last it a lifetime yes said saidi I it will take us a good while to var near all those out two at it a time dont you suppose were ever going to entertain any company joo joel asked the girl of my affection lapping me on the cheek m with ith one of the f forks the same night I 1 had a note front from her saying dearest joe you ought to see gee the lovely a ter dinner coir coff e s second cousin milly has bits sent no two alike orange plush case it exciting dont tell dear but I 1 almost wish been something else for I 1 think some the girls are going to give me spoons the rest of this letter was not cot interesting to you this was the beg beginning liming of an avalanche of spoons charter oak spoons nutmeg spoons soldiers monument spoons witch spoons bust spoons portrait spoons 1 I called these last our picture gallery and suggested that they should be framed in ribbons and hung in the parlor one of our friends sent a pair of salted almond spoons hoping that we would exchange them it if they were duplicated but it turned out that those were the only ones we had the sugar spoons were all marked there were ere five of them it la Is a time honored custom in our 0 office when one of us IT nan led for the test rest to combine nud and buy a picture and you could generally tell what year a mans wedding came off by a glance at his parlor wall williams who was married in 84 had far away crowns a few years later was the three fates ours was of course the latest thing out it had a silver frame As the days wont went by and pieces of silver piled up on us I 1 was more than once reminded of the couple whose courtship was conducted in brown incese and who were fitted out by their admiring friends with a browning in tea set with quotations around the edge oh the little more and how bow much it Is the fords had a run on cuna but a good deal 0 of it got broken the first year the smiths specialty was etchings they had enough for every room in the house only they never had bad a house they boarded ever since they were married finally the climax came when my old uncle john 91 ecat int us its a solid tea set I 1 expected anything from him unless perhaps a bible of a websters unabridged for or lie he enjoy giving anything away aggie was getting too tired to be very enthusiastic thus thusia lastic but her mother was delighted and it was no use thinking that I 1 would just as soon have had the money this makes dear nine more than susie susic fish had said her sister one hundred and two said aggie no dear came this morning 1 oh I 1 know I 1 shall never get this list righta exclaimed aggie diving for her blank book look out or bo be li handing andIng that book to the barsou for a prayer book said 1 I be a bit surprised she answered smiling aggie could smile when she was tired I 1 well we were married A man bre breathes athes easier when its over with ba but it aggie aegle I 1 said as the carriage door slammed on us if it ever happens to us again lets leave out the heathen superstitions 1 I know it if said aggie J 1 I begged them not but they would smuggle borne battle in see sec any in my hair S some 0 me in your hat brim I 1 brushed her oft off nud and she seized the newspaper I 1 had carefully brought along to look like an old married man aud and conjured with it a minute holding it out by an improvised handle here she said the very childen in kluberg kindergarten afteu know how to make paper dustpans dust pans now brush the carriage sent seat when we got out I 1 gave the hack hackman nian a dustpan of rice with a bill on top there burn it if said 1 I did you see him chortle in his joy oy said aggie giggling joe do you feel like a married couple lots said I 1 our ten days in washington had only one bogle bogie the blank book aggie said she must finish her notes all I 1 could do was to sit by and fret and put on the stamps and she told me I 1 hindered her more than I 1 helped and she was awfully glad to have we me around it made her feel better we began housekeeping in a cheerful way in it a little house on a new street it was something like to come home to ones own dinner table we had so much silver that eliat it looked funny with our plain china nobody had given us a lot of ice cream sets and things I 1 tell you marriage Is a lottery when it comes to wedding presents I 1 liked seeing aggles face in the sugar bowl though every night the little male imported to live up to the spoons brought them and all the rest upstairs on a tray and we packed them away in the chest we had made and a pretty penny it cost with its ita combination lock which went into the end of the closet where nobody could get at it one night we came home at 12 front from a reception and as we stole upstairs not to wake the sleeping handmaid aggie so sleepy herself that she tripped on tier her wedding gown and I 1 had to hold tier her we came upon the file whole array on oil the floor outside our door it imposing so safe said 1 I but aggie aegle said desperately 11 1 I shant care anything about going out evenings any more it if ive got to put that silver away after I 1 get lowe home lot let it stay there oil oh I 1 cant mamma thinks were so we dont appreciate things enough she says it if anyone had bad given tier her such elegant things ahrn ii she was married site blie have dared to lose close tier her eyes take mure more than that to keep my eyes open but I 1 helped ague agnes shove the tray under a chair and drape the train of lier her wedding ilIg drits dress over it what on earth are you doing aggie I 1 asked on coming in for dinner ono one day all I 1 could see was one foot and a suit ruffle aruille in the closet aggie scrambled up tip enough to patch catch me round my knee oh joe ini im so glad youve cume come what Is it youre ready nady to cry what I 1 like about you you dont have to lie be explained e to henry walker hae lia known I 1 felt like crying it if id screamed it at him that made me feel pretty gooc booi though dinner ready but what 0 its the silver I 1 came up to change the forks and spoons so they should got get worn alike and ive shut the paper with the combination in the chest all and I 1 cant remember what it was 1 I got of down beside her it was hotter than mexico in that closet I 1 turned and tried the lock do you keep your dresses out of 0 my N way fly they tickle the back of siy my neck no good well I 1 guess well use the old forks toda today to da day suld said I 1 1 I dont believe fade away yet awhile oh im so sorry but every v oue one shut up tip in that chest so we laughed what else was there to do it was tunny funny when doming deming came home with me to tea wed asked him soule some days before it ift have b been een f funny tinny with some gh gills Is the table looked principally white china and the kitchen knives and forks go round ever cut omelet with fill it a pewter spoon it Is great it quite so f tunny tinny w hen three hot days had gone by and we had re nearly ar smothered sojourning sojo in the closet and no news of the combination doll dont tell mamma pleaded my wife I 1 began to think I 1 should have to call in a locksmith when one cli evening ening aegle startled me by jumping out of bed crying ive got it he got cot IW it got what a nightmare ive got the combination ive bru been working on oil it all the time and it just came to me in my iny sleep get r right glit up joe and hold the light an and mind you yoi dont set anything on file die in another two minutes the front of the chest tell fell down and behold our ho gods goda it if anybody wants to steal them between now cow and daylight they can all said aggie but im not going to shut that lock again tonight to night for anybody in the fall all there was burglar scare about town and agnes mother came over and gave her a lecture upon locking the windows she said we really ought to have a burglar alarm to please her I 1 had one put in election night I 1 went down to town telling ag gle file not to sit up tor for me tor for I 1 should wait for the returns it was I 1 when I 1 opened the front door very softly not to disturb agnes B r r br ke plunk I 1 forgotten the alarm before I 1 had time to say a word or even turn down my coat collar my wife appeared at the file head of the stairs site she pointed a pistol at me her hair hung loose and she was in tier well never mind but she looked distracting ly pretty it if you come one step further ill fire she cried 11 its joe agnes acnes said 1 I meekly 11 11 1 I dont believe it take off you bat I 1 1 I took it off and made her a low bow dont shoot your husband hes beis doing the best he be can agnes laughed hysterically oh joe I 1 was so frightened 1 I rushed upstairs and caught her I 1 took away the pistol and wrapped her up in her dressing gown gowd do you think you ought to appear before burglars in this costume I 1 inquired she blushed 1 I never thought of that and to think you yon should point a pistol at your own husband it loaded joe agnes Louris lounsbury bury said 1 I do you moan mean to say you were so rash as to td RIM aim at me with a pistol that loaded but I 1 have fired it anyway it cocked well this ends the watchman burglar alarm business said 1 I weve had bad about as much of it as we want tomorrow well decide what silver we want to use every day and the rest shall go down to the bank were able to breathe now the silver stands on the sideboard and as yet nobody has carried it off it if they do agnes mother will say she expected it for we arent the careful people they used to be in her generation once in a while aggie quarrels with me because some dish or other that would make a show for company Is at the bank and I 1 dont see my way clear to bring it home under my arm you tou can have them all home and trust to luck if rather I 1 say id rather they were at the bank because then I 1 should have them you know dont see it said 1 I but its just as you say when our anniversary came around we had a present and a note from one of agnes elderly fri friebis frien enis ls the note ran this way my dear sirs mrs lounsbury we send you our best congratulations on your anniversary my husband will have his little joke you know and as some one told him that the Louns burys had bad had bad so much silver given them on their wedding that it was it a positive embarrassment ras to them he says you ought to be ashamed of being such plutocrats at your age while the older generation lias has not even accumulated souvenir spoons and sends you this little gift to remind you of the fact q oh joe its el silver lver for I 1 had punched a hole in the paper no it we its a pudding dish or tor for oysters you know how kind and plated too it cost much joe did itt it t A few dollars I 1 should think how good perhaps even less joe perhaps so its rather light weight it delightful well have sonic some oysters in it tomorrow to morrow night and ask them over to tea 1 I should f feel eel dreada dreadfully ully to have that taken I 1 heard tier her murmur that evening what fort for because its such a comfort to have one thing that you dont care whether wis its stolen or not dot youle youie getting sleepy aggie but I 1 know one thing that goes goca on goes on forever what our storage rent I 1 reckon in a tow few years well have paid for the whole outfit atilt then well fetch it home and keep open house for burglars with it a clean conscience dont be ridiculous joe said my wafe new york tribune |
