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Show REAL LIQUOR! For Christmas we gave an aged servant a quart ol whisky as a present. About a week later I asked him how it was. He replied: "It was jes' right, Boss." To make conversation, I asked him what he meant by "jes' right." "Well," he rejoined, "if it would have been any better. Boss, you would have kept it for yourself, and If it would have been any worse, it would have billed me. That's why I say it was jes' right." Slow Romance Charlie was the most bashful lad In the village. Naturally the family fam-ily were astonished when he told them one evening that he was going courting. After spending over an hour getting ready, he set out. Half an hour later he returned, looking very pleased with himself. "You're back soon," said his mother. "How did you get on?" "All right," replied Charlie with a grin. "Did you see her?" "Yes, I did. An' if I hadn't ducked down behind the hedge she'd have seen me, too." SALES TALK A wealthy man, intent on matrimony, matri-mony, told his friend one day that he was 60 years old, and asked: "Would it be better if I told a young lady whom I'd like to marry that I'm only 50?" "I'll be perfectly frank with you," hi friend replied. "Your chances would be better if you'd tell her you were 75." Good References Concerned about the happiness of her maid, Mrs. Jones inquired anxiously, "Jennie, do you think it if wise to marry that young man on iuch short acquaintance? You've only known him for a few weeks." "Well," replied Jennie, after a thoughtful pause, "It isn't as if he was some new fellow. He's well recommended. A girl I know was engaged to him for quite a long time." Easy Coasting A rich man lying on his death bed called his chauffeur, who had been in his service for years, and said: "Ah, Sykes, I am going on a long and rugged Journey, worse than ever you drove me." "Well, sir," consoled the chauffeur, chauf-feur, "there's one comfort it's all downhill and you won't need any gasoline." What Was It? A young bride was annoyed by her husband's presence in the kitchen kitch-en while she was preparing dinner. And when he accidentally knocked her cook book to the floor, she flared up. "Now look what you've done. You've lost the place and I haven't the least idea what I'm cooking." EXPENSIVE WAY OUT IIS Two husbands were discussing, their wives. "I wish I could find way to stop my wife from spending so much on gloves," said one. "I've got an idea," replied the other. "Ever try buying her a diamond dia-mond ring?" A Bit Dumb A father shook his head sadly as his son left the room. For the fourth successive month his report card had shown nothing but D's. "I am finally convinced," he told his wife, "that our son must have a sixth sense. There's certainly no sign of the other five." Found Out House-to-House Salesman (explaining (ex-plaining terms of sale) You pay only a small deposit. Then you make no more payments for six months. Lady of the House Who told you about us? Still the Same "My husband thinks he's changed a lot, but he hasn't." "How come?" "Well, he's always talking aDout what a perfect fool he used to be!" |