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Show Children Are Not to Be Expected Perfect By Dr. Daryl J. McCarty We parents, being slightly imperfect people, sometimes get the notion we can and should expect perfection from our chldren. So maybe it's altogether fitting and wholesome that we re-think our relations with our children and perhaps change things for the better. Since New Year's is a good time for a fresh start, I hereby submit a few proposed resolutions that may have some value to you in your relationship with your child: 1. I will not regard all my child's mistakes as sins, but seek to make them learning experiences. 2. I will love my child enough to say "no" when my instincts tell me I should do so. 3. I will always be ready to make an apology to my child when I make a mistake that affects him or her. 4. I will display genuine interest in-terest in some aspect of my child's activities every day. 5. I will find ways to help my child deal with responsibilities, respon-sibilities, rather than helping the child to seek shelter from them. 6. I will accept as a sacred responsibility the matter of answering any question my child asks me. 7. I will not rob my child of educaton by doing things that my child should be doing for himself. 8. I will try to minimize tension in my home by doing more listening than shouting, showing more understanding than intimidation, and using more reason than mindless ultimatums. 9. I will not always strive to protect my child from unwanted un-wanted consequences, but use good judgment in permitting my child to do things in a way that can result " in a positive learning experience. 10. I will learn new things, thus demonstrating to my child that the process of education should never end. In making these resolutions I realize that many of them will be difficult. Not everyone can readily say, "I'm sorry." Some of us parents have short attention spans, little patience, tunnel vision, short fuses, etc. when it comes to difficulties with our kids. But whoever said parenthood was an easy road? May you find the right guideposts in traveling that highway. |