Show Starve A Rat T k TM T J Do It Today 1 oday By FLORENCE BITTNER Dont cook dinner Starve a rat today WOI Liberation protest marchers in New York recently recent recent- ly carried placards advertising their plight and declaring their independence from male shack shack- les Housewives are unpaid slave labor I READ their proclamation and promptly joined up Its It's high time I got liberated All these years Ive I've been asking where housewives go to re re- sign Anybody complains about the food at my table and I urge them to fire the cook but do you think anyone will do it I could serve burned potatoes and watery eggs for days and no one would fire the cook at our house Yelland Yell Yelland Yelland and grumble a lot and snack endlessly but fire the cook Not likely Washing diapers is not ful ful- ful- ful filling I CANT CAN'T argue with that sentiment Its It's been a while washed a a diaper but butI I can say without any hesitation hesitation hesitation hesi hesi- tation that I never found any fulfillment in washing diapers Fulfillment in babies yes in their diapers no But the one does sort of seem to be a byproduct byproduct byproduct by by- product of the other We women do have to take responsibility for this defect in our product however and there is the possibility that men could do it better There are a few other little defects i in n our main product which men n might possibly improve upon like dry noses and not crying after dark and growing up to become teenagers With a few of these problems solved we women could go back to the baby producing business and really be fulfilled THAT BIT about slave labor I like that Boy do I slave around here and does docs anyone appreciate it Not much They complain about what I dont don't do but nobody but nobody notices what I do and if that's not slavery what is I mean if just one day someone someone someone some some- one would say Gee Mom these clean sheets smell nice Id I'd consider myself less of a slave but about all I get is How come I have to go tobed to tobed tobed bed already Im I'm not tired And who is going to notice clean sheets when they are forced to go to bed Women work union non hours Do we ever ever What union would let its workers work a split shift year after year Theres There's no problem of portal pay for me because when my feet hit the floor in the morning morning morn morn- ing Im I'm on the matter job of I fact I sometimes get in trouble with the management for sleeping on the job Literally Liter Liter- all ally I WORK like mad till the thedoor thedoor thedoor door slams behind the last departing school-bound school boy then I sit down and eat a sometimes breakfast leisurely as long as 10 or 15 minutes before I have to be up and at it Im I'm on duty again at noon and from 3 till bedtime whenever that is My fre free time comes in the middle of the day and that's certainly not union hours Then theres there's the problem of one of my fringe benefits In my contract it specifically states I get an afternoon nap every day and there are a lotmore lot lotmore lotmore more days I dont don't get gel one than I do I ALWAYS intend to rest inthe in inthe inthe the afternoon and I always feel cheated when I dont don't get getto getto getto to and I want that in my new contract so Women's Liberation Liberation Libera Libera- bera tion see to it That is another place where men have it better than we to to women they never expect get an afternoon nap so th they dont don't have that nagging disappointment disappointment to put up with every everyday day THEN THERES THERE'S the problem problem problem lem of management-employee management relations I guess in this job that means Im I'm related to everyone around here except Mr B. B and Im I'm married to him so it makes for complicated complicated complicated work negotiations but if I can ever get them all fed and clean and refereed at the same time Im I'm going to call a negotiating session and were we're going to get at some of these problems Fringe benefits on this job certainly leave much forthe for forthe forthe the negotiating table Talk about slave labor Do I get unemployment insurance I Ido Ido Ido do not but then I dont don't know any unemployed housewives I know a few retired housewives housewives house house- wives but none who have lost their jobs SICK BENEFITS Who has time to be sick Even when I give up and go to bed my employers save all my little jobs for me They wouldn't want me to feel unwanted now would they The problem with women say the Women's Lib people is that we do not receive fulfillment fulfillment fulfillment ful ful- ful- ful from our own lives we are expected to live through our husbands WE DO I mean Yes wedo we wedo wedo do Every night when Mr B B. B comes home all beat because they were mean to him inthe in inthe the cold cruel outside world and Ive I've spent the day slav- slav ing at unpaid jo jobs in the quiet security of the four walls he provided for me I realize again how unfair it all is and I live through him and andI I think how challenging it must be to go out there and do battle every day END HUMAN sacrifice Dont Don't get married All Right Only I haven't quite figured out yet just who is going to be sacrificed if no one gets married anymore any any- more I have a suspicion maybe maybe may may- be marriage is women's idea and we just might be ending a good thing BUT I still intend to be liberated Any day now |