Show V. V VYV SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE By BERT LUCKY BOYACK V Vt HE COULD BE If perchance you missed it Lee it Lee Byrd Associated Press writer recently wrote wrote Gov Gov Calvin Rampton the only Democrat of oC rank in Utah and l likely ely the most popular state executive since Brigham Young POLITICS Mayor Morris was going down main street the theother theother theother other day when he saw a man with a rental truck loaded with personal belongings Where are you going Bob the mayor asked Im moving was the answer Moving where the mayor asked surprised Moving to the city was the sad reply But I thought you liked this part of the country Well Nell I used to like it the man replied I used to like it fine Cine But my wife she dont don't like it And here lately Ive I've noticed that when my wife dont don't like a thing I just naturally hate it LOVE Love is like a radiator because its it's 90 percent hot air but it still keeps you warm tt SMART SUE In UIn trying to keep her civil defense up a girl knows that a tourniquet is a tight band used to stop circulation like a wedding ring FRUSTRATED BACHELOR is one who has no sense of values when he throws away awaya a up pin-up calender just because he runs out of dates MAY WE SAY What goes up and down and never moves is a stairway stair stair- way way and and a building that has the most stories is a library and what is is bought by the yard and worn by the foot isa is isa isa a carpet carpet can can we say in conclusion that conclusion that a wild horse is like an egg because it must be broken before it can be used tt DIFFERENT EMOTIONS Some fellas get a kick out of kissing their best gal while others get a big thrill out of hugging delusions NO HEART Miss Smith the boss said youre the looking best-looking girl we have ever had working in this office A pleased look came into her eyes as he continued Youre a smart dresser You have a pleasant voice and you make a good impression on my customers Thank you the girl murmured your compliments are very pleasing I Enjoy y them the boss replied because now were we're going going going go go- ing to discuss your spelling punctuation and typing tt NO REPRISAL Husband What's the matter with you Why do you keep talking about that mistake I made I thought you said you had forgiven me and forgotten Wife WiCe I have forgiven and forgotten But I just dont don't want you to forget that I have forgiven and forgotten THEY AGREE In this age of Psychology we are cautioned not to keep too much to and the tax collector agrees with this almost percent EARLY ADVICE i t Dad why dont don't they give the groom a shower Because Because Because Be cause hell he'll be in in hot water soon enough SURPRISE The father of a young college boy arrived on cam campus a little past midnight to pay a visit to his son He went to the fraternity house and nd knocked on the front door Soon called out to ask him what he wanted and he said Does John Green live here Yes he does came the answer Just put him on the front porch t tt SORDID HUMOR HUMORA A drunk was bouncing up and down as he walked along the street one foot on the curb and the other in the gut gut- ter A policeman finally stopped him and asked Why ar are e you walking that way You must be drunk Drunk Thank goodness shouted the intoxicated one For a minute there I thought I was crippled ESPECIALLY A POCKET BOOK To make a marriage lasting every household should keep at least three books the cook book pocket book and the Good Book LIMERICK Senorita Lopez of Havana Slipped up on a peel of banana Said a man who stood there J ii As she flew through the air Youre going to feel this manana t PHILOSOPHER PETE Now that the cigarette has been sanitized by filter packing packing pack pack- ing the next improvement we need is the cigarette with the bt built in lt-in lt cough medicine t PRETENSE Im I'm qt quite te happy to say that my fella is pretty smart he tints his temple grey so his boss thinks hes he's worrying about the business remarked the newlywed ON THE ALERT ALERTA A good point to remember when driving an auto is al always always always al- al ways drive so that your license expires before you do tt LAST WORD There are certain times in ones one's life when one feels liberty and the law is negative and narrow for us personally and positive and embracing all-embracing for the other guy |