Show How To Keep Deep Laws Ill From Becoming Out-Laws Out A good way to get along with your mother law isto is isto isto to keep her at a proper dis dis- tance And your mother-in- mother law will profit from that advice advice advice ad ad- vice too SO SAYS Dr Rebecca Liswood physician author and eminent marriage counselor She recommends that wh n your mother law comes to 10 visit put her up at a good hotel nearby Dr Liswood even suggests that your mother law not only foot the hotel bill herself herself herself her her- self but that she invite you out to dinner as well THESE SHE suggests are excellent ways lays to avoid family family family fam fam- ily friction If the visiting laws in-laws stay in the home they're bound to interfere with witt the privacy of the young people and disrupt their way of life The mother-in-law mother notes having raised her own children now feels capable capable capable ca ca- ca- ca pable of giving the daugh daugh- ter law plenty of advice on the subject But the young wife having read Dr Benjamin Spock Speck feels she knows so much more than her mother law and will oCt often en view any instruction instruction instruction tion no matter how well- well intended as interference with her own modern ways and customs Inviting the young couple out to dinner at some time during the visit is a thoughtful gesture Dr Liswood says because it means less additional work for the law daughter and less extra expense for the young people who are really almost putting up a struggle for existence TO HELP maintain friendly friend friend- ly and healthy family relationships relationships relationships re re- re- re Dr Liswood offers offers offers of of- fers a few additional pointers for mothers in She advises advises advises ad ad- vises them to keep their tempers avoid arguments and andi i not expect expressions of gratitude She explained that young couples want to feel that whatever youve you've given them has been given with an open hand and not with attached They want to stand on their own two feet UNTIL T THEY'RE able to achieve financial independence take from from you and maybe resent you while they're taking it it But if there is such resentment or ingratitude ingratitude ingratitude ingrati ingrati- tude she adds its it's important to overlook it DR LISWOOD understands the special problems of moth moth- law in too She points out that this can be a a. time of life when the older woman feels very vulnerable when she may be on the brink of or actually in her men men- This may be the time of her life says Dr Liswood where she needs a certain amount of counseling help or maybe psychiatric help or maybe help from a gist Many women at this stage for example may suffer an estrogen deficiency which might be corrected with proper medical treatment by a gyne gyne- Looking at the possible misunderstanding misunderstanding misunderstanding mis mis- understanding between the generations generations generations gen gen- Dr Liswood says of the older family members I cant can't blame the parents if they feel badly But she adds I wish they wouldn't because they only create unnecessary unnecessary unnecessary un un- necessary heartaches for them them- selves DR LISWOOD who is also adjunct prof professor at Adelphi University is the author of First Aid for the Happy Marriage and A Marriage Doctor Speaks Her Mind About Sex |