Show Something For Everyone BERT LU By LUCKY h BOYACK DIVORCE PART II Hollywood past capital of the world was bombed with marital splits It was a record year Here are a few you may remember some that made the divorce registry of 1969 Groucho Marx Burt Lancaster Herb Alpert Dean Martin Robert Cummings Glenn GlennFord GlennFord GlennFord Ford etc Others like Mickey Rooney and Lana Turner have been married seven times divorced six It figures remembering the average at play six out of seven isn't bad Not bad but then who can afford it To these excitable people known as celebrities marriage seems to be he only a breathing spell for another divorce or vice versa It seems past experience has taught them naught in making the same old yet new brand blundering mistakes see DIFFERENT BUSINESS One divorced man cynically says he is going to open up a shop for Drip Dry Wedding Gowns SAME REASON During a luncheon in the Wall Street t sector one broker told another Frankly the only reason I got married was because I had grown sick and tired of eating in restaurants listening to TV half the night and wearing socks full of holes funny commented his companion I got divorced for the same reason Bennett Cerf 5 DIVORCEE TO A FRIEND Love marriage divorce alimony love marriage divorce alimony I Im I'm Imin Imin in a rut roU SHORT STORY A preacher murmured a few words in their ears and they were married A few months later the husband mumbled a few words in his sleep and they were divorced 55 WOULD YOU BELIEVE Divorce is illegal in Italy HABIT FORMING A young husband left his bride and charged that she went to soccer games on Sunday afternoons instead of staying home but the wife blamed her love for the game on her husband a former fonner soccer player When I met him I had to go to his games to protect him from other women and now he is tired of the sport but I cant can't kick the habit e OUT OF THIS WORLD A gentleman at the bar was obviously trying to drown his sorrow in the scotch bottle that sat at his elbow After an hour of steady drinking the bartender thought he would try and help the disturbed patron Is there anything I can do for you doc doe he asked No mumbled the drunk s 's nothing ya can do les ya can get me a divorce Arent you and your wife happy queried the barkeep For twenty four years spoke up the inebriate inebriate inebriate ate my wife and I were extremely happy then it all came to a screeching halt What happened then asked the bartender We met answered the drunk DIFFERENT WAYS Some men receive wealth from inheritance others get theirs from wise or smart investments While some divorcees gain much wealth by decrees ONE WHO KNOWS One man says When you pay alimony alimony alimony ali ali- mony you know how a cow feels when the milking milking milking milk milk- ing machine is left on all night 2ND CHILDHOOD A year old man brought suit for divorce claiming his year old wife deserted him LAST WORD Relatively and generally speaking about a day of rest How can you keep them down on the farm fann when they insist on going to the store |