Show I Something For Everyone By BERT BOYACK o This battle fares like to the mornings morning's war When dying clouds contend with growing light What time the shepherd blowing of his nails Can neither call it perfect day nor night Shakespeare A new recruit was being interviewed by the draft board What is your occupation Im a gag writer Lets see you make up a gag The recruit got up and walked over to the door looked out on the long line of men and said All you guys can cango cango cango go home now I got the job A solitary GI in a distant jungle post lonely for company of any sort caught a parrot and taught it to speak One evening evening evening eve eve- ning the parrot vanished briefly only to come winging back in wild excitement A woman he screeched And what a woman 1 The excited GI seized his trusty rifle and plunged into the brush after the parrot Oh boss the parrot cried What a face What a figure The GI pushed on trembling with desire Finally the parrot parrot parrot par par- rot stopped pointed and screeched There she is boss What are you trying to pull roared the GI a parrot Smart Sue says poetically The Army builds men said the sign in n great big black and white Smart Sue says poetically The Army builds men said the sign In great big black and white m A If Uncle Sam says so I know r 3 V Z I It surely must be right L to I A pleasant thought just came to mind- mind t t. How marvelous it would be a.- a. If only they would be real nice And build one for me to see WOULD YOU BELIEVE When Irving Berlin was asked if if he wOL would d write a song for the G GIs GI's Is I's in Vietnam for this war he replied replied replied re re- re- re plied I dont don't have to I wrote one for World War WarI I and I couldn't do any better today God Bless America Although he wrote it for World War I it wasn't until 1938 that it got when famous introduced by Kate Smith SHORT SHORT SHOTS Draftee to tOI i soldier friend Will you tell me the in and out of army life like being in and how do you get out out People are still surprised that Israel cOL could d win a war in 5 days but it is not so amazing when it was known they had rented the war equipment for only 5 days The White Cliffs of Dover are made of chalk A military posture is one where the physique has slipped to the rear you should see seethe seethe seethe the units bringing up the rear Some say that thata a out drop in school should go to an induction center In Jakarta Indonesia the wife of the north Sumatra army commander announced that married women who want to volunteer for the Indonesian army should d first have permission from their husbands A man was disappointed when he tried to enlist he got turned down dO on both sides by the A F and 4 F F. At one recruiting station the sign reads We honor all draft cards Reporting to Army headquarters for hi his physical a draftee happily discovered his personal physician was the examining doctor At the end of the most up check-up however the doctor decided Youre Youre okay for active service Your asthma has improved miraculously the draftee beefed a switch you were sticking me bucks a visit you always found it very much worse A much bandaged pilot of a wrecked jet was reporting to his commanding officer Youre late Lieutenant Your plane was due one hour and ten minutes ago Well Sir my plane controls locked and and I dove into the ground at miles an hour from an altitude altitude altitude alti alti- alti- alti tude of three miles r That didn't take one hour and ten minutes Anecdote on a Soldiers Soldier's Life During world war II a chaplain was told that one poor poor fellow had been wounded be beyond ond all hope in a certain trench raid The chaplain leaned over him My dear fellow you are very badly wounded Have you anything to say or any word you want to send to your family My inside coat pocket gasped the soldier painfully The chaplain felt a pocketbook and took it out Is this what you want Yes open it Here is a ten dollar bill is that what you want Yes said the soldier in a quiet whisper Bet you that that I dont don't die And he did not |