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Show I by Jim Murray Moninrsiy nn SpaDirtts What those buzzwords are really saying I In a recent issue of Time magazine, writer John Leo deals with one of the intriguing problems of our day how to ready your newspaper. The trick is to cut right through the code words, to decipher the real meaning behind the surface prose. For instance, he quotes Richard Cohen of the Washington Post, who recalls his indoctrination indoc-trination into the arts and mysteries of journalism-speak when he was a young cub sent out to interview a lawyer who had always been identified in print as "ruddy-faced." The man, reported Cohen, was "woozily abusive" and given to lurching about the premises unsteadily. "Cohen instantly realized the real meaning of ruddy-faced is drunk." That's the way the deadline crumbles. Leo cites other instances of journalism-speak, a spiritual malaise wherein the typewriter just seems to ink in its own cliche without con-cious con-cious effort on the part of the writer. The Middle East is "strife torn," Leo says. Unless peace breaks out, when it becomes Pmmu,,..luij,m1 , ,, m, Li, Jll i,.-l JM "much troubled." The poor benighted Irish Republican Army comes into view dragging its inevitable baggage, "outlawed." There are readers in America who think that's the right title of the group, "The Outlawed Irish Republican Army." Individuals get labeled with similar buzzwords. buz-zwords. "Imposing," Leo points out, means just what it says when it is applied to a man. Applied to a woman, it means battle-ax. "Controversial," he points out, usually applies ap-plies to somebody the writer doesn't care for. Jane Fonda, for example, is controversial. And "prestigious," he advises, is used to "herald the arrival of something nobody cares about, as in 'the prestigious Jean Her-sholt Her-sholt Humanitarian Award."' "Missions" are always "fact finding," panels are "blue ribbon" and the chips always "fall where they may." The world of sports is no less guilty. You need a lexicon to unravel the common English meaning of most words you read, particularly adjectives. As in: "Controversial" A guy who is a pain in the asterisk to the team, the league, the press and, probably, his wife. "Inspirational" The guy can't play but makes a lot of noise, particularly while eating. "Momentum" Applied to whichever team just scored. "Erudite" A player who knows what state he's in at the moment, and vaguely, its geographical location, although, not necessarily its state capital. "Outspoken" -A bully. "World's greatest athlete" Applied to people you can't think of anything else to say about, such as decathloners. In a pinch it can be applied to a bike rider or some other sport that bores you. "Grizzled" - Senile. "Feisty" John Leo says this signifies any person the journalist considers too short, thus anybody under 5'6" and not dead, but in sports this signifies a guy who is in- defatigably rude. Also, of course, short. Leo notes that nobody over 6 feet tall is ever "feisty." "On paper, the best" A team sure to lose. Nobody ever needed a piece of paper to prove that the 1927 Yankees should win it. You needed paper for the Cleveland Indians. "Temperamental" Crazy. "Moody" Schizoid. "Flaky" Manic. "Rollicking" Drunkards. "Unassuming" Boring. "His own man" A guy nobody else could stand. "Hates to lose" - Usually a hypocrite. Hates to strike out. His real attitude: The team is on its own. "Talent-loaded in the conference" -Cheaters. "Gutty" -Your team. "Cocky" Their team. "Perennial powerhouse" - A team you don't like, usually Notre Dame. "Potential" Something that never comes. Nobody, but nobody, ever said Willie Mays had "potential." You either have it right from the start or you never get it. "Heady" A guy who knows how many outs there are at any given moment. "Intense competitor" Sociopath. John Dillinger was an intense competitor. So was Himmler. "Articulate" Reserved for people you're surprised they can talk at all. "Ill-starred" Any team that repeatedly finds a way to lose. They're not ill-starred, they're ill-prepared. As long as you know that "clubhouse rumor" is usually one's bartender, and "word around the league" is somehting you hope happens, and you understand that "hype" is the other guy's story, not yours, you are ready for the season. You are also a certified cynic. We all know what a cynic is. It's a guy who won't believe your lies. ( c ) 1984, Los Angeles Times Distributed by Los Angeles Times Syndicate |