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Show JMk TOnaM'ya gfyg&a E&muipw? mSsS&m&r by Rick Brough HBUHUHH T. OJr mmi There he went again OBSERVATION ON THE DEBATE: Sitting down for it, I though Mondale was a nerd and Reagan was an absent-minded old giblet. As it turned out, Mondale did a lot more to eradicate his image than the president did. They debated each other on a great deal of dry economic data. Most of the American people, like me, probably suffered an abrupt case of MEGO (My Eyes Glaze Over). Easily the most dramatic moment came when President Reagan trotted out his old line, "There you go again! " Mondale broke out in a big smile. He was trying , to look dignified,, but inside you could tell he was thinking, "Le'me respond! Le'me respond! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!" What he said was, in essence, "You remember the last time you said that? You were trying to evade the question of whether you'd cut Social Security and Medicare and now you're still trying to evade it ! " Don't think this was easy to watch. I'm a conservative-minded guy myself. But I think the debate basically went to Mondale. In fact, I will go out on a limb. I will predict that if any line becomes memorable from this debate, it is Mondale's declaration, "I would rather lose a campaign on decency than win it on self-interest." That's how it looks to Whaddyaknow. Back to you, Barbara. It's not too early to talk about Christmas gifts. Don't blame me. Just look at Neiman-Marcus at Dallas, the most exotic department store in the history of mankind, which has just released its Christmas gift selection. For instance, people who like murder mysteries can stay with author Donald Westlake in a house in the mountains of New York. There they can participate first-hand in a "mystery" created by Westlake. They will be divided into teams and sent forth to investigate. For the kids, you can get a four-foot inflatable Santa Claus. It can be operated by remote control to serve drinks and distribute presents. Neiman-Marcus could offer gifts in the future that will be even more exciting. Here are a few examples: The clone rights to movies stars. Today, fans try to get close to their favorite stars by buying large, sexy full-color posters. But what would happen in the future if you could buy clones of such people as Tom Selleck, Rick Springfield or the Solid Gold Dancers? Maybe they could be rented from clone shops (in either Beta or VHS format). Film-TV-rock stars could make millions selling their " clone rights, while they're in the prime of their careers. And you could at last entertain your favorite performer in the, uh, privacy of your own home. The Detour game. You get a giant game board ; which looks like a map of Park City. You're a member of the Chamber of Commerce. How many conventions, ; festivals can you get into town in spite of weather, and construction? Too bad! You've just drawn a card that says the Aerie house slid off the hill and fell on the belt route! How will you get that busload of Shriners up to Deer Valley? Want to have perfect weather for that birthday, wedding anniversary or other special occasion? In the future, you'll be able to order up the climate you want as easily as you would a pizza. Private weather firms will give you a custom-made day, using seeding techniques, sophisticated meteorolgy and certain pagan religious rites we can't talk about. For instance, if you like to walk in a drizzle, "Storms-R-Us" will whip up a nifty thundershower just wet enough for singin' in the rain, but not enough for disaster relief. Caution: Professional ethics will forbid these firms from providing any weather to spoil someone else's picnic, parade, bar mitzvah, missionary return, etc., or from any large-scale projects such as hurricanes, monsoons or hailstorms with pellets larger than regulation golf balls. Whether you're fat, balding or acneed, you can be written into an episode of "The Love Boat." You're guaranteed to plunge into romance before the cruise is over and you have your choice of lovers: (a) an aging movie star from the Forties and Fifties, (b) a blonde bimbo or wavy-haired beefcake actor who stars on another series, or (c) The captain, Gopher, Isaac or Julie the cruise director. (No! Vicki the captain's daughter is off limits!) Everyone knows that Colorado ski towns are big because they have celebrities Gerald Ford in Vail and John Denver in Aspen. Now ski towns can buy from a wide selection of has-been politicians and show business types. Select from a catalogue including John Anderson, Jimmy Carter, the Bee Gees, Gilda Radner, Henry Winkler, John Glenn, Al Pacino and John Travolta. The celebrity will move into your neighborhood, occasionally shop on Main Street and appear at charity functions. Consumer Tips: The selection of has-been politicians will be better after Nov. 6. The Dr. Who hotel. This is just the thing for developers who want to build a large hotel without intruding on the Park City environment. The whole concept is based on the TV hero Dr. Who. He travels in a little TARDIS that looks like a London police call box on the outside, but inside is a large spaceship of three or four rooms. We'll give you a building that, outside, is about the size of the Dairy Queen. But inside you will find a 13-floor hotel with convention space, 84 shops, internal roads for auto circulation, horse and hiking paths, sports complex and balloon landing field. Get your own religious cult. Thousands of people will discover peace of mind because, infheir hearts, they have a personal relationship with you. Cult members will wear your cast-off clothes, evolve a theology from your old school term papers and will sell flowers and Raisenettes at airports. Don't worry about rigorous fasts or tiring marches to the sea for salt. You won't even have to appear, except for mass wedding ceremonies. . On second thought, why not have Barbara Bush debate Ferraro? |