Show II Y V V Something For Everyone E By BERT LUCKY BOYACK Y y Part two of oC jokes from forty years ago There were many stories related about Dr Albert Ein Em- stein Following you will find two of them As Einstein saw a friend to the door the friend asked him what he considered the best formula for success in life He smiled and thought for Cor a minute If A is success in l life e ehe he replied I should say the formula is A equals X Z Y T Y Y-f- Y Z X being work and Y being play And what asked the friend is Z That he answered is keeping your mouth shut Professor ProCessor Einstein's secretary was so burdened with inquiries inquiries inquiries in in- as to the meaning of relativity that the professor decided to help her out He told her to answer these inquiries as follows When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think its it's only a minute but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think its it's two hours A writer and philosopher dropped in at the local stationers stationer's stationers stationer's stationers stationer's sta sta- to buy a fountain pen if the dealer could convince him he should have one Well said the latter you do all your writing with witha a pen Just think of oC the time you could save in not having to dip your pen into the ink bottle Young man solemnly remarked the sage when I dip my pen into the bottle that is the only time all day that I get any chance to rest Do you want to work me meto meto meto to death YOU KNEW IT ALL THE WHILE The Butterfly was originally called the A fathom is isa isa isa a nautical measurement of oC a depth but literally it means embrace The Irish potato is not a potato and it did I not come from Ireland It is a tuber plant and came cameI from Crom Peru Peanuts are not nuts They are beans I The The French horn is not French nor not is it a horn but rather it is English and a Woodwind instrument Tin cans are not made of tin merely coated with tin A 1 Belgian hare is not a hare it is a rabbit and the American rabbit is not a rabbit but rather it is a hare At an evening party at his home an Archbishop of Trench asked if someone would play chess with him and a lady l volunteered The Archbishop was no longer young and had a presentiment that he would one day have a paralytic paralytic paralytic para para- stroke After playing for some time he became I agitated and deathly pale his partner asked if he felt ill he replied Your move and fell Cell back in his chair I The other guests came around in some anxiety and he heI I simply said It has come at last my right side is isI I paralyzed Impossible they said It is so he reI replied replied re re- plied I have been pinching my leg and there is no noI I I feeling J I Then his partner bh blushingly said Your Grace it wasI was my leg you were pinching I A great orator was upon one occasion making a very important speech He was greatly impressed by the attention at atI attention at- at of a man in the audience The man sat a few Cew I rows from the front and as the speech went on he seemed more and more absorbed hanging on to the speakers speaker's words The orator was so flattered that he found himself addressing the man oblivious of the rest of the audience Later the man came upon the platform I and watching his chance seized the hand of oC the speaker Ive watched you every minute he said breathlessly Ive never taken my eyes off your face The orator felt Celt a thrill go through him and the man went on Im a dentist and Ive I've never before in my whole professional life seen a speaker who when h he laughed showed both rows of oC teeth all the way round I George Arliss a great stage actor who's first starring starring starring star star- ring role was in Disraeli relates one of the most charming charming charming charm charm- ing compliments he had ever received came from a widow of many years She UShe had been a widow for Jor many years but during her husbands husband's lifetime they had been intimate friends of Disraeli When I played Disraeli she came to I see the play and told me afterwards that the reality of the character had so carried her away that she turned instinctively instinctively instinctively I to speak to her husband I LAST WORD You the young at heart having read the past two articles have an edge over the older Why I They may be just a little whimsical to the elder and trifling to the youth but just a bit refreshing to you the younger |