Show q hi f 1 n f f 7 V t i Z j jk o k 1 I l 1 f Y iJ 7 I I t. t 4 By DAN The Skunk Skinner Here is a news bulletin It It has just been reported that a swarm of man-eating man skunks have just attacked the Western coast and are now gobbling people people people peo peo- up by the millions in downtown downtown downtown down down- town Burbank and suburban Los Angeles Police officers are re reluctant reluctant reluctant re- re to follow the swarm due to the unpleasant odor they leave after eating a victim Will no one help Is the end of the world here For further news s stay tuned to this article Bountiful left the basketball season waving its colors high and long Last Wednesday the theone theone theone one before this week Bountiful easily took care of the Davis Darts Also notable Clearfield trounced over Skyline Now these games turned out just as predicted THE BIGGEST surprise of the day was when View Viewmont mont after playing a very lost to West High by three points Now this article isn't referring to and doesn't even sustain the fact that IF Viewmont Viewmont Viewmont View View- mont had won Bountiful could have entered a playoff situation with West and Clearfield Why should I sustain It when of course its it's true Now lets let's have gones by-gones be gone I would as I suppose the rest I of the at Bountiful I does like to wish Viewmont all I Ithe the luck possible in its attempt to bring home the state cham cham- I Why just to have the Division One champion come from our fair city is more than just a gesture its it's a tribute I i KEEP UP the good work Vikings Vikings Vikings Vik Vik- ings but dont don't keep your noses too high You'll have to start ducking as soon as baseball season season season sea sea- son rolls around I Here are some more exciting detailed reports on the rumors about the man-eating man skunks that are infiltrating the west coast The smell has been sensed as far north as Alaska and as far tar south as the San Diego Zoo Accompanying the smell Is a low-hanging low dense fog that acts as a thick blanket laying on the landscape The fog is reported to be six feet thick and cannot reportedly be cut with a knife I THE SKUNKS it seems are doing a very thorough job of man It has been ru rumored rumored rumored ru- ru mored that the skunks are a new anew device conjured up by the Communists Communists Communists Com Com- in which they will take takeover takeover takeover over the world The Communists Communists Communists deny having any connection with the incident Could it be that some alien power from another world is the originator of such a menacing and destructive force Already people have succumbed succumbed succumbed suc suc- to the man-eaters man and an estimated have fallen fal- fal len to suffocation from the low- low hanging fog containing the nauseating nauseating nauseating naus naus- eating smell Further reports on the skunks later on in the ar ar- ar Little Tidbits Boys' Boys Week will be held this year during the week of Mar 11 During the week several activities have been planned by bythe bythe bythe the com committee heads to give the boys the chance to snap back af after after after af- af ter the assaults that were done to their egos during Week On Mar 14 the Boys Boys' Assembly is scheduled and on the 16 is the dance One thing about the Joey Bish Bishop op Show Have you ever noticed I how many c cigarettes i gar e t t e s Joey smokes during the hour and a I half program at least a pack apack Well guess who one of his sponsors spon spon- sponsors sors for the show was last Saturday Saturday Sat Sat- The The American Cancer Society Junior Week is already going strong In the planning and construction construction construction con con- of its coming activities activities activities ties during the first week of April Committees for the different different dif dif- ferent sections of the Junior Prom layout have already been drawn up and are ready to go I Also moving swiftly along in its preparation is the Junior As Assembly Assembly Assembly As- As which Is said will go on world tour The officers Tom Irving Jennifer Nelson Rhonda Brimley and Scott Parkinson are assured of a fabulous Junior Week I would like to say that Brave Talk will to the utmost of its ability support the candidacy of Pat Paulsen for the office of President He has demonstrated by his interesting and up-to- up the-minute the editorials that his views are entirely ones aimed at a common cause r himself Have you noticed the rivalry between the Smothers Brothers Brothers Brothers Broth Broth- ers Comedy Hour and the Rowan owan and Martin Laugh in If not do so The man-eating man skunks are arenow arenow now beginning to pour into downtown downtown downtown down down- I town Morgan and are reportedly I heading towards Bountiful The smell is already very distinct here folks and from my viewpoint viewpoint viewpoint view view- point the low-hanging low fog is creeping very slowly along the valley People are beginning to torun torun torun run madly down the streets there are numerous traffic jams all over the city Through my telescope situated situated situated situ situ- here on the mountainside I can see a wide lack black mass of the skunks They're devouring everything in sight They're only a few feet away from me now Id I'd better get going before they get get I Brave Words of Advice Wisdom Wisdom Wisdom Wis Wis- dom Fortune Knowledge and Understanding From reading this article it just goes to prove that you cant can't believe everything you read in the paper Why everyone everyone everyone every every- one knows that skunks dont don't smell |