Show MINOR VS major CHIPPER ivban IV bat ja M the first step toward securing a div divorce orcel asked a clienton of a philadelphia lawyer get married 11 was the prompt reply green bag young Stay late I 1 should very much like to meet your father fat hersome someday day amy well it yon you will stay about an hour longer he be will be coming down to breakfast harpers bazar dicky had been silent during his thanks giving but finally he be rested bis his fat elbows on the table with knife and fork upright in 1 either hand and gae gave a great sigh and eaid isaid I 1 wish turkeys could be double breasted 11 texas sittings siftings first ampt impressions are lasting as the gentleman remarked when the trip hammer came down on his fingers boston transcript A cheerful advertisement wanted a yo young u ng woman who can carl cook and dress the nf children adren 11 poor little dears gazette de do lausanne mistress bridget where are the oyster crackers that I 1 ordered bridget F faith alib mum an I 1 broke ivery one av thim an divil ot of an oyster could I 1 find in cl one ne an I 1 tint sint them straight back chicago inter ocean southerner nothing on earth can run faster than a razorback bog northerner about what time can ho be make south erner ernfrit ern erIt it Is impossible to say why I 1 caw saw one of those hoga hogs get on a it race track once and run around so fast that ho he caught up to himself Ilar harpers pees bazar dealer this la Is the best parrot we have but I 1 sell him v you know his one fault hell liell grumble terribly if his food suit him miss fits fitz ill 1111 take him it will seem quite like having a man in the house ti you say that you like jennie one lady writes to another in an endearing little note from the seaside because she never speaks ill of the absent but I 1 guess the reason why youre able to say that is because youve never been present when youre absent 11 youths companion A mere question of sex well ell wlllie willie did you master your lesson today nom I 1 missed it philadelphia record why it bulled 1 I 1 i 7 r I 1 1 10 4 1 I r I 1 i 2 51 I 1 J 11 I 1 10 4 I 1 I 1 id zil ier I 1 1 0 k f T V I 1 7 L I 1 J IV 1 1 1 w 4 4 1 1 1 11 r I 1 1 1 I 1 I 1 r I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 1 V algy I 1 1 I 1 t CJ I 1 I 1 6 0 4 I 1 N I 1 AN i N life III little blip slip she engaged for an evening party it is not quite time for us to start yet Is it mr I 1 heno he no miss daisy but I 1 am always early the early bird you know catches the cr er the the aw that comet misa miss dalsy they say can be seen quite distinctly with a good opera glass chicago trib une w clear proof my lly wife is a singularly ingenious Ingen iou woman remarked tho the married man Inde indeed edill said the bachelor with alan a languid effort nt at interest indeed I 1 assure you it was only yesterday that she found a new placa place to bide hide my slippers texas sittings fairly earned little tommy say are you engaged to my eister sister or are you not algernon blushing furiously larn I 1 abam am not tommy but I 1 would like to tobe to be little tommy come out from behind that door els I 1 knew id earn that quarter new york herald an inspiration what my dear you are not going to wear that bright colored neck tie in the pulpit are you the bev rev mr air drowsier ye yes I 1 am that the only way I 1 can keep the audi ence awake CI clothier othier and furnisher lumisher backed lacked la in science those fellows dont understand the science of football fiot ball at all py how so why been playing an hour and there aint one of them so much aa as lame even Iet detroit rolt tribune linen for wedding cresents speaking of wedding gifts thet re is noth ine ing more sensible t than ban bouse house linen and yet it is very rarely elven given it la Is sure to he lie ac cep septable table in either small or large quantities and why not blankets also A pah pair of the best Cali califern forn tits would be a welcome add tion to the store of any housekeeper and eo much more useful than some small bit ot of silver that nobody y wants want new Kew york tribune bune le t I 1 1 THE GOAT A stran a ar acial a mcd und and green IJ Z t there was a cur curious lour inix mixture ture of 0 the deep water bailor und and the lony bore boreman nian luthe la the rigging of captain aa as le he meditatively leaned up aga irit a projecting spile spite on the lock dock where ilia his schooner lay unloading A al nillar figure wo was bearing hearing down the dock gowani the schooner when irben be was na balled baie captain and coming nebout made alongside the spile spite and the iwo two seafaring men inen exchanged a hearty greetin ir I 1 well capen cape ii said the newcomer prosperous trip fair air to fair winds mostly and easy water answered the skipper noth in unusual in fix the way of excitement un lesa it was the goings going on of a it grampus t that b I 1 shipped in philadelphia on oil the li ciomo it trip while we nye was alel up at lit the reading charre i t loading 1 with coal an irishman walked aboard torn for a job lie ile was very anxious tor for work and I 1 WM was handed so I 1 took him on it evasn the first timo time I 1 ever shipped a green lubber nor yet an nn irishman but if it that fellow know less lem about the ways of a vessel than a wooden indian tle then n this river dont smell lie ile worked alir all right 9 h i t in fit the hold but when we waa was under way I 1 had a mind to try him blin on oil the lookout after atter we baruck clear water as ho to tell a halliard baulard from a it sheet line there aint much tor for the man inan forland to do when we ire was 0 but I 1 instructed him plain enough what to do and he lie was tickled with the job jot long about dark I 1 on oil d deck eck the mate rt at I 1 hie lie wheel so as I 1 could tell just about what the new man was doing and what lie was wa good for pretty soon the lookout comes aft and says theida The iea something om Hom ething the bout forr 1 11 what la is it I 1 ays says at the same time motioning to the mate at the wheel 11 1 I dont know 1 says mys tho man 11 well go back and find flad out and report 1 I ray fays t then lien and back he lie goes A few minutes and back lie comes aft I 1 11 1 I dont know what it is yet he lie bays but its coming this way and wo we can fill hid out for sure in at little while 11 you go for to rard lard and dont come back till yo yon know what it I 1 bays hays 1 I gettin mad eifle tie goes up tip again but bitt is back again iti ill a minute and all su smiling illing 11 nellt pays 1 I 1 11 if it you please I 1 dont know for sure what it fis 1 says he lie but whatever it ia is it has a red light and a green light ant and I 1 think it rant must be ft a drug 1 11 proy idenie journal A pathetic Pat hetio appeal young barrister in his first cae ivies called upon to defend a couple of deep dyed villa iiii for whom there wa no chance of escape Ile wound lip hi ad dres jury Rs follows gentlemen them Is lit the south of france A dinall i 11 inge of it in that there izands a house in that house th arle live pit aged couple with their only daugh ter the old mati M lit a paper avith feverish anxiety the old lady Is sli edding tears over tier the Toung gortian at the gazing wistfully at the sky they to hear the result rosult of this trial will cause the in hellse delight or profound despair accari ing As my case 1 vron or lost for that old nian is my father th at a L d woman Is lit y i mother and the young person Is my sisterly green bag Ill eforo starting 11 14 I 1 I 1 IA I 1 I 1 I 1 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 0 ai r k 1 I 1 i I 1 f pr 1 I 1 11 I 1 01 il P 1 r A I 1 I 1 miss coopas ook look I ayer a yer lige has haayo yo been practicing in lige yes indeed honey I 1 took two boxes ol 01 0 mrs airs winslows lippincotts cotts Bf magazine agazine A opinion fair Patient doctor I 1 have taken great tip of your medicine medicines and they dont seem to help me one bit some of my friends eay say I 1 would get better if I 1 would buy a bicycle and ride it what do you advise doctor aI alarmed armed my ay iy dear deai young friend I 1 in n my opinion there Is nothing in the world so so engra eaul and out of place as a young woman n a bicycle chicago tribune A mj mysterious fous case tho the body of A man was taken from the water by a new york poll policeman cem in 1 does anybody know anything man mau asked the policeman police mau of ot sonic urchins who were present prent I 1 we seed him juet just ae as he lie came up for the last time but we fergot ter ask him what his ills name was ltd said one olle of the boyi texas sifting t took no charree Ch auree fond parent Paren ilow dare you match pen ales yates dont you know that gambling is a rime crime bobby what is in gambling I 1 pop OP fond parent indulging in a game of hance chance bobby not guilty pop IN n penny with ith two heads truth bound t to skate little boy I 1 wish bet get me tue toine some elates slates aripa skates theres no ice lee 1 I want to have lem em ready when the ice comes iise some i winters there is no ice at all 11 well roller eka skate teall sll do good news diulio proof elder Good goodbau mati well johnny did you have a it good time thanksgiving johnny A good time well I 1 abou should id think I 1 did ma ala had to sit up tip with me for the tho next three nights boston courier A text of featherstone 1 I wonder how much ions long er I 1 can wear this dress ss t suit gingway ringway itlay depends on oil how much you value ny liy friendship Clothier awl 1 A window has been put in the parish church of flythe england la in memory of lionel lukin who conce conceio con celvid iv ad and designed the lifeboat in I 1 am I 1 use salve because use it la is the beat best remedy licy hey know of to produce the physical salve allou of their tain tain cases the a why corn corti ni maize nize nevar rows unevenly Is 1 to be because of its laving having eppolita eppo tita of growth from front the tob col it Is an fact that ilear nearly lyall 11 the countries abich girnt gir nt fall 1011 1117 90 to tu arc are lalu uda 11 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 MADE HIM the hail bad preciou 1 too acl f r she lad had a shrill voice that per jaded the whole car and when she spoke to till thi infantile darling at lit her sido side she slopped stopped over into baby talk that made ill all the other paw engers grit their teeth and clutch the plu plush ih backa of the seats in front the car was full and the fond young guardian cf infancy and find innocence occupied pled the ill seat at back to buck with that was the seat t fiat faced the stove and on this undesirable man with three and chin whiskers there was a lull tor for a few miles nud and tilt passengers boaen to relax their muscles and breathe freer when hie the fusillade suddenly beean began again p y ittle little dirl oh bd Pd Weepy 0 o response masoo mammas yam mamma yamina eatn look up here look at me met I 1 oh you bad waa was 00 oo mamin mammas naughty bad three slaps oli oil you bad precious pre cloud ittle little sing mammas daisy Duck tums tuma her ownie totty trots hissung mel met do you hear lear kassum mcl met there were beads of perspiration on the face ce of tho the man with the chin whiskers whis kerti and when the conductor opened the car door he be gave a convulsive shiver that knocked down tho the coal shovel conductor be he whispered you haveri pt come too soon why im a desperate man tolbott too hot bott asked the conductor soothingly opening the stove door hot man iian its that woman and baby back of me its the baby twaddle I 1 tell you I 1 cant stand it ive raised nine young ones myself out in loway and I 1 rano r tso lent era on that git the woman any thing she wants git her ft a house and lot ill chip in fit but keep her quiet if you dont conductor ill brain that baby with this sample case hear im des priti the conductor reply lie ile leaned J over to tho young woman and said madam Nf adam you auit send that dog to the baggage car detroit free press miesco tho tilo run ran th tho boston transcript tells of a tunny funny incident at a funeral A patent medicine wagon stopped at the entrance to the cenie cerne tery during the interment on which were buch such signs os as these use binks rilla 11 stop that graveyard cough with wilkinsons balsam try Fu furgess ruess pills before it la too late presently the crowd were ivere all wending their way out of the cemetery and as a the chief mourner the dead old mans son passed the patent medicine wagon an in describable expression passed over overdia h Is face while a tear rolled down bis his cheek what are you chinkin of john a relative whispered to him 1 I was thiu kin answered john wiping the tear away how bow he would a enjoyed abati the musical barber P 0 i f QI 11 r jilla I 1 I 1 I 1 t I 1 IG 1 D i 1 ill I 1 I 1 a 11 di 1 0 I 1 waz yer down to de concert las night ienir jones derewal Dere waz a beautiful melody I 1 kin remember now ilk 1 I 1 I 1 ANK ID 11 I 1 a i 1 C 1 1 az 14 L m les see it done went like dis way tah de tah de tum tah de tah del I 1 R 0 11 ap I 1 f I 1 I 1 1 T I 1 t 1 I 1 I 1 1 P 11 lill 1 I 1 11 ai d 1 I 1 great bobbins truth I 1 A cold day two traveling men trunks valises and all got into a little iowa tow town n one day lay lat february when there were ivere eix six inches of wet now on the ground they sat next to each other in the battered and rickety bus which took them to the only alleged hotel in town but the cold raw ray air discouraged con cou raged acquaintance when they met at the dinner table and sat opposite each other one said to the other this its I 1 poor weather for my trade so what is your line pric bicycles chafa yours soda fountains chicago news kec rec ord rd they these folks think smart paid the burglar to himself fishing from its concealment under the edge of the parlor carpet back ot of the piano a well stuffed pocketbook and BlIP slipping ping it into an opening in his coat and they arel are he ejaculated in deep disgust aa as he be opened it a few fey hours later and found it to be stuffed with tracts on the sin of stealing chicago tribune on ho file nattle field duelist to one of the seconds you can not imagine what anguish I 1 feel at the thought of my beloved E emily mily supposing I 1 were killed I 1 0 second dont let that trouble you my I 1 dear friend in that case I 1 would marry her bar straight abt off on literature of a student hero Is the way wily a student in a certain college wrote a piece of news for a local paper A epi epidemic denile has broke out amlung the student it made its app appearance earence on it certain evela when vile 45 or 0 student took lock down the doctor declereq ered it wa was s lon A young calf was killed ind and calten catten end and that ts Is supposed suppo Hed to have been tho the dource Il hartford artford courant in the english lad had potatoes tulip roots radishes radish ce pumpkins artichokes ex cole wort cabbage cabb aee cucumbers carrots para pars nips turnip turnips 1 beets asparagus onions let tuce and cres L I 1 I 1 I 1 A i 11 k HER PA interfered hadn haan kot not B e c 1 1 fair vast thoy They would I 1 1 1 u 0 mola kleih tl 4 A deer editor 1 am a broken boy lifes dreme is ore an ml mi with marit merit grenes pa is mud I 1 cubed homo frum rum scoot with marii marle bren grena last toosia nu an bil bit jonson jodson theode snow bals bats at us clity red rech wot he be Is may he h devir italy 1 daze pece when I 1 1 left gunrie I 1 tolo tole her abay was wot i hantid 2 tel I 1 her ter but I 1 I 1 wood rather send it 3 2 her tier in a letur cletur cose coss I 1 aident like a U tel her so I 1 rite her this letur cletur sweat perl ov ml nil hart marie marle grene grere I 1 talk ui ul ml mi pen 2 let lot a no I 1 lure u ho holl I 1 lure uvo u mor mort than words kin tel tol I 1 am abote u ai the time I 1 even 4 git alt ml mi leanne chinkin abott u panigota likin 4 it yesterday yest rest erda 1 1 wood ilk i hair u al 2 nil |