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Show nd both of them th third jrrar.'' ' Wajklngton Star. Condition Precedent. "The religion of som people la too lenient." aJd Bishop Hclln In a recent re-cent addross In NantuckeL "Some people suggcGt to me, In tbelr vlow of religion, a llttlo girl whose teacher said to her: " 'Mary, what must we do flrnl before be-fore we can expet forglvenness for our sins?' 'We must ftln first,' the little girl answered." Nashville. Banner. Waiting a Call. "So Jack and Tom proposed last night. Which did you accept?' "Well, my dear. I waa so excited I can't remember. But whichever calls tonight must bo the ono." Spokane SpoVesman-Revlew. , Chubby. I Bronx Why has Jones become so opposed to club? Harlem He was introduced to hit wife at a country club, proposed to lier at a golf club, married her at a church club, now the alimony ho paya ber Just meeta "her club dues. Judge. There By RJght. Abou Ben Adhem had discovered that his name led all the rest "Well." he said, "alphabetically, that's where T belong." Dropping a tear of sympathy for poor Xcnophon, whose name waa near the foot of the list,- he kept right on loving bis fellow men. Chicago Tribune. The Neew of It. "Whenever I gits to antidpatln trouble," said Uncle Eben, "I'a jr'wln-ter jr'wln-ter member 'bout de friend of mine dat got kicked by a mule 'cause he were so bosy lookln out foh do comet dat he didn't notice de adjacency of do animal's hind feet." Washington Post. A Terrible Blunder. Druggist Whatever Is the matter with you? Tou seem awfnlly excited over something or other. Assistant No wonder. Mrs. Origgs-by Origgs-by wanted an ounce of boric acid; and I gave her an ounce of strychnlno by mistake. Druggist Well, of all the careless idiots, you head the list! Have you any idea of the value of strychnine? Bystander, Not As Expected. "Tbia boy," said tho proud mother to a neighbor, "do grow more like his father every day." And tho neighbor, knowing the father, asked: "Do ho. now? And you have tried everything?" Punch. The Family Debts, Too. Blobbs Harduppe says ho can trace his family back 300 years. Slobb Yes, and I dare say he can trace some of his debts quite as far. Denver Times. Uncle Ezra'Says. "Felers who do all their travelln in airships won't hev much uv an opportunely op-portunely fur leavln' footprints on the sands uv time." Boston Herald. JUST FOR FUN Their Salaries PreoUent V. C. Ftrowu of the New-York New-York Central railroad, pnld at a lunch-oti, lunch-oti, apropos of hl "back to the firm"' pronouncement: "Some city men take very hard my eufgestion about a return to agriculture. agricul-ture. They Beem to think that the rarm payB as poorly 8 apprenticeship apprentice-ship used to doand you know what the. old-time apprentices paid about that: 'Wo got, Raid the apprentice. I 'board and clothing the first year, I clothing nd board the second year |