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Show W& Knight of the UnuTuatT' fj$ EING a Fezu Stories y) Qf Queer Thinqs the Nonchalant Messenger Boy Is Called On to Do 2nd I Does. lire. 1 rushed down st.nlrs nod found out the name of lior doctor from the servant and rang him up. I stood it round watching her till he c.nme. lie gave her something which sent her to sleep. lie told me it wns the best thing I could have done.", Tragedy nnd comedy are equally blended In the messenger business. A certain dlvorct-e, living In the eighties, made a triumphant return from Itcno a few years ago jusily celebrated now for more than divorces. di-vorces. Two days after she was married again and projected another honeymoon. She sent for the inevitable in-evitable messenger boy. "1 have ii little girl four years of age," she said. - "I j the PlaClub Through. ) McDonagh Sat in the Hall of (' the Players' Club Through, out the Night. !he come. I hadn't been able to stir a finger the -whole time. I goi $io frotn her good old soul!" Another messenger no Is a station manager of the A. J. T. tells of putting n' load of coal In the cellar. "The roal man was suddenly taken 111." he said. "The driTer was a unionist and refused to put in th eoaL He said that he'd be infringing the laws of his union if he did any shovelling. So they sent for me. The driver looked doubtfully at me for a moment, but I guess he took a chance on the strength of my uniform. They knew our reputation for strikes. Anyhow I shovelled the coal." Itut tales of the queer errands of messenger boys are numberless. A visit to Philadelphia or Boston Is almost an everyday occurrence these day9. Tho automobile business is a potent Influence on messenger messen-ger things, A tire breaks in some little town In New Hampshire, say. It is a peculiar tire, so what is there for it but to use the long distance telephone and call for a messenger with a new tire? which that boy will bring as inevitably as anything In the wide world. Prank J. McLeod, messenger boy of this city, had a more precious charge not six months ago. He carried car-ried a baby from West Sixty-seventh street to an aunt In Allendale, N. J., an hour or so in the train. "That was n fierce assignment," said he. "I s'pose tbat the kid felt that there was sometbln' wrong. He was only a lktle over four. He set up a howl as soon as be got used to ray uniform, and I tried to nurse him goln' out on the train, and when I handed him over all I got was a glass of sour milk and a piece of bum pie." Master MeLeod's face suggested a chastened resignation. resig-nation. The lines of the meseuger boy are far from ( being cast in such unpleasant places, however. There ' are those pleasant paths which lead to the theatre, to which some strange lady desires an escort. He has i ridden arouud whole days showing the guileless stranger the sights and dining with him at the best hotels. He sees the city's sights, high and low. Sometimes Some-times he is a caddy on the golf links, lie Is frequently frequent-ly kissed by grateful womeu who have been success- r 3 lffi-$$tfj w''rK II i vorcos. Two days after she was married again and pJlii m jS1 II 1 x-C- projected another honeymoon. She sent for the In- Wv- ffiw$Ml II X citable messenger boy. Wjj "ll ' -' - "1 have u little girl four years of age," she said. - "I McDonagh Sat in the Hall of sl ' the Players Club Through. 3? v ? ' I ' s' i I Was Afflicted with an Awful Curiosity to Go In. "I Was Catching 'Em. Catching 'Em, When the Lady Commenced to Laugh.' si White Scratched Valiantly and for Half an Hour, BY GARNET WARREN. rpyrcbt. 1910, by the New York H'-ralJ Co. All rlts rcwrrrl ) NEW YOKK, Saturday. VOU press the button and in his lime be comes. T.eiDg unimaginative you will doubtless see blm, a heavy youth, dusty footed, heavy eyed and unpotentlal of tho strange things in life. And, of course, being so obviously so, he Is so unequivocally not so. Really -he is a Kuight of tho Unusual, did you but know it an adventurer in strange places at peculiar shrines. His activities are far more varied than arc the colors of the rainbow or the vestments of the great Solomon. He is Tro-leus Tro-leus modernized, If you hanker after the classical. Kindly, then, be so Inducted to him. Consider him the district messenger, a lily of his kind, as he goes at the instance of your call or of another's where? Well, if you are looking for records in the matter of distance and you know that the human race likes records in anything Messenger J. l Smith in April, 1W0, ventured as far as Soulh Africa to present pre-sent nn address containing 23,000 names to Paul Kruger, then President of the Transvaal Republic. Smith arrived on the very eve of the evacuation of Johannesburg, delivered bh message and returned. Even prior to this feat, however, Mr. Richard Harding Hard-ing Davis had written three letters jn London, one of which called for delivery in New York, another in Philadelphia, a third in Chicago. William Thomas Jaggard was the Instrument of these deliveries, his purpose being to Indicate how the mails might be beaten. Jaggard was two hours ahead of the United Stales mail In New York and many in Chicago, while 11 r. Davis was referred to frcqueully upon each of these occasions. Lady Com au ' is. His is a dunging shape, and one liable to any duty. It was in Kh.iS that Joseph White sped on his sunny way along State street, Chicago, in response re-sponse -to a call. A large, urbane man met him at the d"or of an important office. The large man had n worried look. "Say, son," said the man, "would you like to earn a ton pie of dollars?" Possessing a true mes.sengerl.nl instinct, It' Is obvious obvi-ous that While could have no objection. "Look here," said the fat man, locking the door, 'this is hot we.Uher, an' I'm sort of tingling, tickling all over tho back." lie removed his coat. He sub-jotted sub-jotted bis shirt to the same process also that which came under his shirt. He exposed a large, pink expanse. She Kept Sobbing and Working Her Elbows on" the" Piano Keys and Maklruj . . the Queerest Sounds : fullj steered through the shopplog districts. He- Is not uulucky. Rut remember that next time yon see him with presented face at your doorway, think not of him as unromantk. He is the creature of possibility. In half an hour be may be ranging and adventuring. . And please don't try to think of freak things to make him on he has h3d enough already. ; sfmmcn-t of a more grisly assignment He answered the call of a city editor. "You go," said that official, "to the Players' Club." He was assigned to watch for the death of Edwin Booth. McDonnell sat In the ball of the Players' Club throughout the night. A more tragic experience yet was that of a present telegraph operator of New York newspaper. He answered the call of an undertaker. "Now, see here," said the undertaker, "I Jnst want you to wait around to-nfghr. I'm going borne. There's a body in there!" He jerked bis thumb In the direction of nn open door. "Some of the relatives rela-tives may want to come around and see It. Just let 'em lu and watch they don't take anything." "Well. I sat there," said the messenger, "all night. There were mice in that undertaker's place, and a lot of big rolls of paper (I don't know what they were fori piled up in the corners of the room. Now and again the mice would rustle round among the paper and I'd jump a foot. I remember thnt I was afflicted with an awful curiosity to go in and see the thing Jo the other room. Three times I braced up my courage and tip-lord to the open door. Then one of the pieces of paper would rus-tle, and I'd Jump and get back to my rorner. Undertakers are not cheerful people, but, gee! I was glad lo see that one when he showed up next mominc." A manager of one harbor for messengers, between IV.urieenth and Forty-second streets, teemed with ex-perSenees. ex-perSenees. "I chased a man round for a week," said he, "trying to deliver n message. It was a message to a man from his mother, who believed that she was going to die, nnd wnnled to bee him. The man had domestic complications com-plications at the time. He wasn't Interested in seeing messenger boys. Rut I wus told by the brother who handed me the message to keep after him until I got biui. So I did. I trailed him, I think, In every hotel and restaurant In Broadway. I trailed him to hU office and his home. That chase got to be quite exclt-lug. exclt-lug. I questioned elevator boys nnd hotel clerks nnd chauffeurs and servants. I got him while he was eating eat-ing some quick lunch in the bar of a well known hotel. You should have seen that fellow's face when heM found out what the message was. I found out afterward after-ward that his mother commenced to mend Immediately she saw him. Women are queer creatures. He sent me a twenty dollar bill by post, that fellow. That chase was worth it. "Yes," he contiuued rumlnatively, "messenger boys get up against strange things. I remember a telegram which I delivered to a woman. They seut me up stair and as 1 went Into the rooru she was singing and playing at the piano. It was something from n mnsic.il comedy. I remember. I delivered the telegram aud she fell down clean over the keys. I can remember , the crash of the thing now. 'Oh, my darling, my dar- . ling" she started saying. 'You're dead! You're dead!' She kept sobbing nnd working her elbows on the piano keys and making the queerest sounds. "Whenever I hear n piano crash that scene comes up to me. I was standing there staring at her, not i knowing what to do. I'd never seen anybody take on lite she did. She was crjioc out that she couldn't , 'Say. son, ' he said. "I want some one to scratch my back. Scratch It!" So White scratched valiantly for half an hour. "That certainly did feel good." said the man at the end of the lime, aDd handed to White ?2. "I wouldn't have done It." said White recently to a fellow operator ft here seems a destiny that messengers shall develop into telegraph operators), "but I'd only been three months at the game at the time. I was a green kid. I'd b;ive banded him one If he'd have put that up to me a little Inter on." In fact, the green messenger boy will often do things whfiii his more experienced brother would scorn. It was another Chicago boy (they do such strange things in Chicago) who answered the oil of a stout lady. It wns also one of those warm summer days which ate troublesome to stout ladies. In the sun's full refulgence reful-gence she complained of the flies. They were irresistibly irresist-ibly attracted to her fair, perspiring face, and showed a peculiar attraction for the edges of her mouth and nose. "Young man," said she, i don't like to ask you. but the fact is I'm troubled by tiles. 1 can't read for the tiles. 1 can't go to sleep for 'em. You just sit here and keep them away from me and catch as ninny n. you can. Do yon hear?" She disposed herself to read and the smull mcssesi-ger. mcssesi-ger. being green and unproud, devoted himself to Hies. He caught hundreds. "It got to be a regular game," sn!d he, when he told me about it. "I was catching Vin, catching 'em, when the lady commenced to lauirh. Then I caught more and she laughed o she couldu't stop. She was rolling around everywhere, langhing I wns catching "em for two hours like thnt. She was an actress, I remember re-member At the end of the two hours tears were streaming down her cheeks and she was helpless. "'My!' said she, 'how much does It cost for you?' "'Thirty cents an hour.' said I. Well, she paid the sixty cents and gave me a dollar for myself In addition. addi-tion. My,' said she, again, 'that's the best show I ever saw lu my life" " On Death Watch. The fly catcher (who isn't a messenger boy now) said that he wouldn't have done It If he'd been older at the game. "They take advantage of the green ones," he said, "and ask 'era to do all sorts of things." Jim McDonngh Is nn Illustration of this. He la now a theatrical electrician in New York. He was the ln- It was lar earlier tnnn tins, However (in iv, in fact), thnt Mr. Daniel Urohman aud Mr. E. II. Soth-ern. Soth-ern. with fine theatrical instinct, scented the news value of messenger boys. They sent one to London to carry souvenirs to actors and actresses, Ellen Terry, Mrs. Brown Potter, Irving, Toole, Nat Goodwin. Willie Edouin and others receiving evidences of regard re-gard and proofs of a One iDstinct for publicity. Frank J. Ryau and Albert V. Roe went to Sau Francisco from New York in 1S00 and delivered letters there, while in September, lflOO, Hemy Owdeu and Ernest Morton, two Canadian Pacific messenger boys, in me from Montreal to New York in sixty-two hours and delivered ktlers to the P. C. Cable Company. More personal, however, was thu experience of James L, Young, now telegraph operator in the main odlco of the A. D. T. It was In Vu)2 that he had a call lo meet Mr. John Dryea Kitchen on his arrivjl from Europe. Mr. Kitchen wns a mllllonnnire and an invalid. Young stood at the gangplank, calling out "Mr John D. Kitchen Kitchen." with that peculiar vocal messengeii.nl energy, when an old gentleman ca nil' down the plank on a stic k. "What Is it. boy?" he said. "I've come to take you to Boston." said Youug. "Well, he started talking to me on the train." said Young recently. "He asked all sorts of questions about the messenger business, of how a boy was broken in, and I told him of how the green boy was always sent out nccompanicd by one experienced, aliout the Wall street messenger boys, who have lo know every banker and broker in the street, nnd of the money the boys make by commissions; of the tips which people offer them; about all of the phases of life which the messenger boy touched. Two Weeks at So Much. "Well, Mr. Kitihen became very Interested. The whole of the time we were In the train he was asking questions, question, nnd I was nnsweriug them. Then, when we got lo Boston and the lime enrne for me to t, hark, he said: 'I waul you to stay with me, Imy. for a couple or weeks. I like to talk to you. You are well worth thirty cents an hour.' So he paid tin- charge of thirty rents an hour for the full two weeks and then decided -to send rne through college. J went to Columbia for two years, but had to leave when Mr. Kitchen died." The ticker asserted Itself and Y'oung returned to It, win illustration of the mutability of fate and. messenger messen-ger boys. I referred to the messenger boy as a Proteus, He want you to walk her about every day while I'm away. I'll be back in about a month. Be careful of her, now, and I'll make you a nice present." "So each day at ten o'clock 1 used to call for th. kid." sold the messenger, "and the housemaid would hand her over to me and I would lake her out in the Park or walk her arouud the streets or ride hvr on my back until her newly married mamma came lwiek from her honeymoon. The lady gave me $tr. After that she used to call me up about ouce a week aud I used to go and play with the kid. She said .she was always al-ways asking for me." Watching the Husband. "Sure, I done detective work," said nnotJier messenger. mes-senger. "I trailed a man around for two weeks once and used to briug back reports of where he went to his wife every evening. She used to live In a big hotel in this city. Think of getting detective work done for thirty cents an hour! I couldn't get anything any-thing on the man, but that report didn't seem to satisfy sat-isfy bis wife, 'Y'ou couldn't have watched him properly. prop-erly. said she. 4I know him. I guess lil have to get a detective, after all!' And I didn't get a cent for all my work. She was a light wad, that one. "Another woman who sent for me was more gen-prous. gen-prous. When I called on her (It was au apartment house In Central Park West) I found that she'd been called out and wns expected back lu about half au hour. Well. I thought I'd wait In the Park, aud I'd Just started to walk In the hall when 1 heard a 'Brr-r-r-r-r. I looked around and there was the ugliest ugli-est .bulldog growling at me from tlie door at the side. I started to walk on and he wnlkcrl out growling. The girl tried to call him ofT, but he snapped at her when she tried to take hold of him. He lay down and started to watch me, and whenever I thought he was quiet nnd tried to sneak away an inch or so he would get up' and I'd think he was going to come at me. So I just stood there, but the lady didn t come back In half an hour, or nn hour. She dlda't come back to dinner that night. She come back at twelve o'clock, after th theatre, aud suddenly remembsred me -when bhc eavr me standing there. I was nearly dead w ben |