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Show JUST FOR FUN A Hot Weather Story. James H. Starr, New York's weather wea-ther expert, was talking about the heat. "Our summer heat i, of course, a pretty formidable thing." he said, "but its not quite so formidable as fome people, for their own tcood, try to make out. "When I read the terrible descriptions descrip-tions of our heat that appear in steamship and seashore advertise ments J wink to iusol and think or Sam Thomas. "Sam Thomas was u farm boy. The farmer, while mowing one hot day, ftnt him olf to the general store lor a plu? of tobacco. Sam. on his return, re-turn, broke the farmer's Nuarpcning sione he stepped on it In jumping over the fenc Hut he kept on his vay as though nothing had happened and then, after lie had handed the farmer the tobacco, ho said; " 'Aiu't the heat terrible, boss? 1 In If believe your sharpenia' stone'll be broke by the time you get back to the end of the field It was bendin nearly double with the heat of the f-un as I came by."' Washington Slur The Burden of Wealth. One Spring, for some reason, o!d Eli was goiug round town with a face of dissatisfaction, and, when questioned, ques-tioned, he poured lorth his voluble talc of woe thus: "Marse (Jeo'ge, he come to me last fall an' he say, 'Ell, ells gwlne tor be a hard winter, so yo' be keerful, an' save yo' wages f;..s' and tight.' An' I b'lleve Marse f Jeo'ge. yas. sah, I b'lieve him, an' J save an' I save, an' when de winter win-ter cum U aiu't got no hardship, an' lore was I wld all dl money jos" frown on mah hands!" Everybody's Magazine. Persiflage at Mrs. Hashleigh's. "Let's see," observed tho smart boarder, seating himself at tho table, "how Is it the proverb runs" "You refer to the saying that one man's meat is another man's hash," put in one. "Or," said another, "Don't cry over skimmed milk." "Or possibly." said a third, "In butter but-ter there Ir strength." "No," returned the smart boarder, "the particular proverb I had in mind i... "None but the brave cau face the fjre'" Boston Transcript, ! Not For a Gentlcman'6 Ears. ! "Repeat the words the defendant ! used," commanded counsel for the l woman plaintiff in a case of slander being tried 1u tho First Criminal r er.urt of Newark, recently. "I'd rather not," bashfully replied the defendant "They were hardly words to tell to a gentleman." "Whisper them to the Judge, then," magnanimously suggested counsel and the court was obliged to rap for order. Llpplncott's. By Right of Gift. A disembodied soul that, during Its earthly Incarnation had had troubles of its own descended Into hades In Its new embodiment it was strolling along with a rather pompous air when it met his Satanic Majesty. "You net as If you were the owner of this place," observed the sovereign. sover-eign. "I ought to be." replied the new arrival, ar-rival, airily, "my wife was clvlng it to rue right along." Everybody's Magazine. |