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Show it on the back porch for the frostins to dry, and the dog ate It." Well, don't cry about it, dear. I know a man who will give me another dog." Ioudon News. Benefactors. "I understand that the real estate men have been very busy Su your suburb." "Yes," answered Mr. Crosslots, "and they have done a lot for it " "You think they contribute to the weliare of the community?' "Undoubtedly. So long as they keep putting up signs nobody sufi'era from the lack of kindling wood." Washington Star. Baseball Routs the Hookworm. Mother's stalwart and manly ton, who hasn't had enough energy to cut a turn of wood, mow a lawn or beat a carpet since last fall, is Just full now manifesting symptoms of renewed vl-talley vl-talley b being able to knock the ball over the fence and make k home run. Albany Herald. A Bumper Crop. "Well," said the cheerful man, "wo can thank this rainy season for ono thins." "What's that?" jiske.l the grouch. "it will give us a bumper crop of double-header ball games this summer." sum-mer." Exchange. JUST FOR FUN Popular Fiction. "Ih So Sorry I Was Out When You Called. Mrs. Simpson." "I Think I'll Take These Shoes; They Don't Pinch My Feet a Bit." "Yes; 1 Trefer to Shavo Myself; I Uarbers Make My Face Sore."' j "Good N'lgbt, Mrs. Hlggsworthy. I I've Had a Perfectly Dellghtlul Time "' , "How Beautifully You Dance, Miss j Rocksej'." i ' Gentlemen. I Had Not tbe Slight-1 est Expectation of Being Called Upon to Make Any Remarks This Even- j inK" , "Please Favor Us With a Song, Miss Owlcr; We Shall Enjoy It Ever So Much." Certainly. Madam; 111 Take Pleas-use Pleas-use In Subscribing to the Church Organ Or-gan Fund." "So Inconvenience At All, Old Boy; Pay It Whenever You Got Ready." Chicago Tribune. Toneorlal and Marine. "I noticed as I was coming into our shop." remarked the stranger to the barber, "that your sign indicated that ;ou were both a 'tonsorlal' and 'marine' artist. Now, what In thunder do you mean to convey by the word 'marine? " "I wish to convey, sah," answered the razor wlelder, speaking with cu air of dignity that even President Taft seldom emulates, "I wish to convey, con-vey, sah, that I am the champion expert ex-pert foh puttln" on de fea foam, sah." Chicago News. Why He Called Her "Peggy." "I thought your wife's name wa.i Elizabeth?" "So it is " "Then why do you rail hr reggy?" "Short for Pegassa." "What has that got to do with it," "Why, Pegassa is feminine for Pegasus." Peg-asus." "Welir "Well, Pegasus Is an Immortal steed." "What ff that?" "Sh! Not so loud; she's in tbe next room. You sc. an Immortal steed U an eternal nag!" Brooklyn Eagle. Consoling. When the youos: husband arrived home frTti the offlee he found hU wife in tears. "Oh, John," she sobbed, , "I had fcaVed a lovely rake and put |
