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Show 11 imm-mi was his reply. "You see, down in the slntos we don't curry our chickens we pick 'em." The Delineator. Only the Kick Counted. "What're ye cornin' homo with your milk pall empty for?" demanded tho farmer. "Didn't the old cow give anything?" any-thing?" "Yep," replied the choreboy; "nine qunrlf and one kick." Metropolitan Magazine. A Western Solon. Prosecuting Attorney (Frozen Dog) Your honor, the sheriff's bull pup hua gone and chawed up the court Bible. Judge Well, make the witness kiss the bull pup, then! We can't adjourn court for a week Just to hunt up a new Bible San Antonio Scimitar. JUST FOR FUN An Office Business Only. A youDg man called at the oftlce of a Justice of the Peace, and with some hesitation made known his business, which was to be married The Justice Jus-tice replied that be thought he could perform the service, and asked If the young man had his l.conse. "Yes, bIt," the youth replied. "Well, where Is the young lady?" "Sho she's at her father's." "Well, bring her here." "Sho'd rather be married at home, squire." "And you expect mo to go there and marry you?" "Yes, sir, if you please." . "Young man," Bald tho Justice, "this office- of mine Is like a department store. We sell matches here, but we don't deliver them at tho house." Youth's Companion I A Dry Occasion. ! Brook, Ind , where George Ade practices prac-tices gentleman farming, is right In the middle of thy teetotal belt of Indiana, In-diana, Last summer, on one broiling hot day, a man came along In nn automobile, automo-bile, having Just patched up a puncture punc-ture outside of Brook. He ran into the little village and yaw a native standing In front of the gcueral store. He stopped his' machine ma-chine and went up to the native. "Say, brother." be said, "will you tell me wbt-re I can gel u good, cold boitle of beer around here?" Tho native took the automoblllst by the arm out to tho middle of the road, pointed down tbo dusty length and said: "Tho nearest place Is fifty miles right down the road." rhlla-dclpjhla rhlla-dclpjhla Saturday Evening Post Chickens A La Mode. Frodie was visiting relatives in Canada, and his mother constantly besought be-sought him to bo on his good behavior and to avoid saying anything lh;it mlfiht five offense, but one day wbon his aunt asked him at luncheon If ha would have some cunlcd chicken hoi could not help showing his surprise "Why, what's the'maiter, Freddie?" Inquired the aunt; don't you like cur-rh.'d cur-rh.'d chicken?" "Well, aunty, I can't really Bay," |