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Show It ?5 TOM SIMS SAYS Running an auto is no excuse for running amuck. Mind your own business or undermine under-mine your own business Longer skirts are not so bad, as lnr an we can see. Tlio price of coal will abate the B&ioke nuisance. If a good rule works both ways, not j breaking a looking glass means seven I years good luck. Our objection to putting Europe on her feet is she wants to sit right back down again n absolutely noiseless pistol has been invented, so now Chicagoans will get a little sleep. We hear the Ohio Politician who doesn't expect to be president has consented to see a doctor. Since men are flying around liko birds we may have scarecrows Instead of lightning rods. "Orchestra Leader Shot headline. Let It be a lesson to others contemplating contem-plating such a thing ur idea of fun is being so rich you have three or four homes to stay away from Years and yearn ago twin beds were beds with twins in them. -y Speaking of co-operation, a San Francisco man met, wooed and won a girl in half an hour "Every German," says M. Reibel, "must go to work " Wouldn't it have been awful If we had Ins' ' New York crooks stole a patrol wag-on wag-on There is talk of nailing down the Woolworth building. There is nothing strange in the discovery dis-covery thnt an uncivilized African tribe practices dentistry Some of these new clgareis smell as If they swept up the woods and rolled It in papers The stingiest farmer we know about had barb wire fences so the birds ran t sit down In Boston, ri speeder hit n seven- story building They saj be claims ho blew his horn Our strikes may be bad; but one closed Mexico's movie houses. Among new inventions is a collapsible collaps-ible grit). It acts like ;i mail .isklng the railroad fare. "Music hath power to soothe the savage breast," sang n poet who nev-j tt tried it on a rent man. "There is coal," says Hoover. Yes, and diamond |