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Show 1 Dorothy Dix Talks I THE WIFE WHO UNDERSTANDS ! Highest Paid V omnn Writer j There Is no complaint oftener on W women's lips than that their husbands do not understand them. Indecti, ;t 4j Is thlB lack of sympathetic compre- Ci j? hension that turns matrimony Into Bj21 cinders, ashes and dust to many a ,B woman who is married to a man who yjRH is a model of all the virtues, and a ; good provider, to boot The lack of vamps and sirens on her horizon and tne possession of pearls and limousines do not atone to i the wife for her husband not understanding under-standing why she sheds tears to ex-i; ex-i; press Jo, or nags most where she. loves most, or for his being unable to tell beforehand which way she will , I'vtj; jump In a crisis It is curious that women, who so long for this sympathetic understand-! Ing themsehes, so seldom realize that men are possessed by a similar yearn-' V lng It Is very seldom that they do so, however. The average wife makes Just as little effort to get beneath the outer skin of her husband's personality personal-ity as he does to get under hers. 4, The result Is the woman Is to thej man merely a more or less decoratlei and useful piece of household furnl-' Jfel ture yvhllo the man Is to the woman! only a cash register, and marrlago Is a, failure because- they have missed thei i ,. r one thing they moat desired to find! in matrimony. That la, a divining! lo"e that knows the things of one's soul without having to have them labeled and diagrammed. "Wives do not often think of their husbands as pining to be understood, yet if you yvlsh to measure how great) Is a man's desire for sympathetic comprehension you have only to note how readily ho falls a victim to any woman who shows any Intuition into what he has done, or any apreclatlon of what he Is. It is significant that when a married man strays off of tin straight and narrow path he la far more apt to go with a good listener list-ener than with a poach. Between a man's happiness and misery In marriage lies his wife's ability abil-ity to comprehend why he Is what he Is, and why he docs certain things. If she doesn't, if she sees in him only the children's father, and a stodgy individual in-dividual who la wrapped up In business, busi-ness, and without a thought beyond the stock market, marriage Is a failure fail-ure to him. He Is desperately lonely lone-ly because he realizes ho Is tied tot life to the woman who doesn't understand, under-stand, ami never can understand. What ho would give his life for Is a wife who could see that his ceaseless cease-less toil, so that she may live soft and K easy, Is a tribute of love as fine as r can be woven out of the warp and L woof of romance- W hat he yearns for Jf Is a wife who comprehends that In jj- working through burning Bummers and freezing winters, and keeping to I his task no matter how loudly the highroad calls or feels the wood's temptation, a man offers himself a I dally living sacrifice on the family al- il ,'""- ! Also he pines for a wlfo who ap preciates that a man does not labor' and strive for bread alone, and that success Is not Just so much more i money in the bank. It Is his crown of victory, the tangible proof that he I wns no weakling, but a man among men, one who has striven with worthy ady erwirb's ami has not been defeated, when it was hi strength against theirs, his wit pitted against their acumen. ; All men long for this kind of sym pathetic understanding from their i wives, but how many got If How . S many wives yawn in their hu.sband's i faces when they talk of their busl- f nets at home? How many wives voice any gratitude to their husbands, or ever tell their husbands that they ure proud of their achievements? So pitiable few, and there aro so many hungry-hearted men, starving for the few kind words that would make all their work and sacrifices II for their families worth while! I 1 Probably If men should give their J real definition of an ideal wife it I would be like the little boy's description descrip-tion of a real friend, somebody who knows all about you and likes you anyhow." A man would prefer a wlfo who didn't have any Illusions about his being be-ing a little tin god, but who understood under-stood him, through and through a human man full of faults but lovable still for the goodness at the bottom of him. He- would like her to understand een his weaknesses and to play upon them as upon a harp with a thousand strings. He would like her to know-when know-when to cajole him with good food when he was grumpy, and how to soothe him with flatterv when he was Irritable, and how to jolly him Into doing the thing he knew he ought to do and didn't want to do He would like her to know when to prod him on when h" was tempted to loaf, when to use the spur when his ambitions flagged, when to turn a face of Invincible In-vincible courage and falti upon him in the hour when his own heart failed him A man would bless God for a wife who had discernment enough to tell quivering nerves from temper, and who could distinguish between the utter ut-ter exhaustion of body and mind, that prostrates a man beyond speech, from a grouch, and who would not think herself Ill-used and dissolve in a flood of fears because he did not always come home with a gay smile, ready to do the little sunshine stuff about the house Above all, a man would consider a woman a wife whose price was above rubles. If she had understanding under-standing enough to realize that a man must have some liberty to be happy, and that because he wants the society-of society-of men. and enjoys talking to a bright woman, and admires a prette face. g no sign that he has ceased to love his wlfo or has become a gay Lothario. It Is only the exceptional woman who has senso enough to comprehend that a man must havo this sense of freedom or else find matrimony unendurable un-endurable Those who do and know-that know-that It does not menace them, give their husband's liberty a latchkey, and so keep them The balance los.' the love they have alnly tried to tie to their apron strings. The prayer of every young couple when they get married should be, "God give us wisdom to understand each other.' For In that lies the whole secret of married hrfpplness |
