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Show jE R I S C O P I Nr Mthe WORLDS A with VJ! Our Office Boy. v ADVICE! You say, I My son. I It can't Hz Be done 1 H Your statement Ipn't true You mean, My 6on, It can Be W Bui ran' i Be done I By you When anyone Says it ; an't be done, He's quitting l In advance. The Little man Who says, "I CAN" Will win With half r A chance. 'L It's unfortunate to be a thief but fUL downright unlucky to be a poor one. Well, Albert, king of Belgians Is about the only king Americans would ; make a fuss over. There's one sight that always brings a smile 0 a pedestrian's face -seeing I traffic officer making a motorist 1 back up. aw v AJlctr tnp splash .the Bteel strike h" sunk to the bottom of public notice no-tice without so much as h ripple. Jack Warwick says that moral uplifting up-lifting isn't done with a rope H l Xn- bui lh. man wbo'n being uplift- I od usually discovers he has morals then for the first time. D'Annunzio's next "best seller" will I be "This Way Out." II C. L Hell cut loose. What is more natural when rapping woman suffrage than a deluge of eggs? If any rlty 1n the United State? warns to rival New York In size and importance, let il adopt the slogan 'Reasonable Rents for Everyone Here. Ah ays." Lenlne and Trotzkv are putting Rus sia. now in the bone age, rapidly into the stone age. Clothes may make you but they'll also break you this dnv and age. Bulldozing Is an unprofitable occupation occu-pation for a cop if he's caught WHAT HAS BECOME OF The village smithy who under the spreading chestnut stood? Until one goes house -hunting, one will ncw-r know how many good Am- erican families -ai their meals in the kitchen. Hash is a culture for suspicion germs. Silos. In draining, provide a tempting tempt-ing liquor, a farmer friend tells us Now it's easy to understand that 8-hour 8-hour day they demand more time to court the silo. Hooding styles in women's clothing change with the maid tsuppl DOESN'T IT Get your goat to alt next to a woman on a car while the feathers In her hat tickle your nose and then have her bawl you out to her friend In the I seat, in front for spreading germs by j sneezing? A man never knows how outrageous i his past has been until he r'ns tor some office. Marriage is risky enough without trying it in an airplane. George Ade says two Chicago busi-i ness men whose business had been hard hit by ihe war were wecpin-rl over their troubles when one of ihem asserted that he didn't worry despite his troubles he had hired a man at ?5000 a year to do that for him. "But," his friend asked, "how. if you are so hard hit. can you afford to pay a man ?3000 to do your worrying tor you?" "I can't." was the reply. "That's the first thing he has io worry about." i We have an inside tip that Presl-I dent Wrilson worried himself sick b-- i cause he couldn't show King Albert 1 j about the country The real prophet never says, 'i told' you so." I It'll take more than a peace tre-uy to convince those Yankees In Siberia that the war is over. A bartender who ran year a mysterious mys-terious look when he's serving near beer never need fear for his Job. An optimist is a man who will in-vesl in-vesl all his good American dollars in German marks. A heaven without money is going to be a great disappointment f"r some people. Seeing is believing but It costs money in a poker game. Pitiless publicity of the methods of profiteers who operate so the. law can't touch them has awakened oodle of self-sympathy on the part of the public that's all. WHICH REMINDS US THAT Bald-headed people always say that grass never grows on a busy street. |