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Show 1 Dorothy Dix Talks . J POOR MARTHA. I i By DOROTHY DIX, The World's Highest raid Woman Writer Among my acquaintances Is a pretty pret-ty young girl of twenty -who is engaged engag-ed to be married to an admirable young man. This girl's mother died several years ago and since she was sixteen she has been bearing on her slim little shoulders the burden of the household cooking, washing and sewing sew-ing for her father and two younger children. Now the girl wants to get married herself and build lier own littlo nest, but father and her two' married sisters sis-ters are horrified at the idea of breaking break-ing up the home and tell her that it Is her duty to put aside all thoughts of her own happiness, and take caro of her father and little brother and sister. And the girl wants to know what I think she should do. I unhesitatingly advise her to go right off and marry her sweetheart as soon as she can and to divide up the sacrifice business with her sisters. There is no reason why any one member mem-ber of a household should monopolize the role of family martyr. Of course it is done. By some process pro-cess of selection that no one over understands least of all the victim of it in most households there is some ono individual who is made the family fam-ily goat Sometimes it is a boy on whom a no -account father wishes the support of the family, and who is denied de-nied all chances of education, of ambition, ambi-tion, of marriage and a homo of his own, because he has to go to work in his childhood to support his parents and the other children. Generally, however, the family martyr mar-tyr is a woman. If father dies she goes to work to help take caro of the family fam-ily and her money is taken from her without so much as a thank you. If mother dies she is the one who has to stay at home and take mother's place and keep the family together. She must put away all thoughts of love and marriage herself because she is the one who gives younger brothers and sisters their chance in the world. Or, perhaps, the family martyr is 4 elected to stay at home and nurse a querulous and cranky mother and father through their old age, because the other children think it would be so dreadful for mother and father to have to give up her good position and her opportunities of making herself independent, inde-pendent, and securing to herself a full and interesting life. Or else she is forced to sacrifice her chances of marriage mar-riage on the altar of duty that somebody some-body else has erected for lier. It apparently -never occurs to the selfish old people that they have no right to spoil a young girl's life for the sake of comfort in their few declining years, nor to the other brothers and sisters that it is just as much thoir duty to bQar.tho family burden as it is tho family martyr's. Let us hope that the fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters who so calmly press tlie crown of thorns down on poor Martha's brow do not realize how cruel they are. But if Martha has any intelligence whatever she does well to look the situation in the face, and decline the head gear that they esteem es-teem so becoming to her, and show so little desire to wear themselves. Let her look down the years and see herself growing old. She has given up for others all the opportunities that her own life held, and when the bleak days come for her she herself will be a hanger on in some household where she will know herself unwelcome and unwanted. We have all seen thisappen vcr and over again. We all know poor Miss Marthas who spent all of their earnings when they were young to put a brother through college, or give a pretty young sister the clothes that would enhance her good looks and enable her to make a good marriage, and instead of being everlastingly grateful, brother or sister sis-ter begrudge her even a back room in their big houses. And we know Miss Marthas who turned love away from their doors, and refused men who became rich and fa-! fa-! mous in order to take care of parents who were so disagreeable they could not ask any man to live with them, and who are forlorn, loveless and homeless old maids in consequence. The conclusion of the whole matter is that martyrdom doesn't pay. It is the terrible tragedy of sacrifice that It is so futile, and that ninety-nine times out of a hundred it is perfectly, utterly utter-ly useless, and does no human being a particle of good. For the people who will accept sacrifices are the very ones who need the discipline of being forced to be less selfish, and think less of their own personal pleasure and enjoyment. en-joyment. Therefore, I would advise every girl to refuse to accept martyrdom at her family's hands. Let her reflect that she has just exactly the same right to happiness, hap-piness, and to lead her own life as her brothers and sisters have, and as her parents had before her, and that they have no right to push her into the shade so that they may monopolize tho whole of the sunlight. Let her remember that It is no young girl's duty to ruin her whole life, ana give up her chances of marriage, or of success In her chosen line of work, in order that her old mother's whim for living in a certain place may be gratified, grati-fied, or her father have just the kind of cooking he has always been used to. Also, let her remember that the heaviest heav-iest load grows light when it is divided up and laid on many shoulders, and that if she forces her other brothers and sisters to share in tho family sacrifice, sac-rifice, no one need be martyrized. So I would say to this girl and all other girls, decline to be the family martyr. Fight for yourself. Don't make a door mat of yourself. Remember that the fate of the door mat is not only to be walked on but to be kicked aside when people are through with it oo- Passenger "I suppose you've haa some hairbreadth escapee during your seafaring career?" Male "Yes, indeed, I was nearly drowned once." Pnssenger "Wore you, really? How did it happen?" Mate "I went to sleep in the bath, mum, and forgot to turn the water off." |