OCR Text |
Show i'" Qood Jokes 1 j A Necessary Preliminary. Aim hlsli' You II hit the mark of fame, As many men nu Know did. Hut there no mm In taking aim 1 nlewi our run l loaded -I II "Whe"els" Are "Hesdgesr." Tom Twenty dollars for that tlstr ple fall hat' You must be craiyl Clara Well, I must say It's coins to my head Chicago Chronicle. Rote Life. The night ml down dewdrep To where a red roie slept! The rrl roue opened will Ite arms. And In the dewdrop crept. The iun rime softly stentlng AlMive the hilltop's rrrit. And made the dewdrop sparkle L'pon the rote'a breait. The eoutli wind rume - Isted It, And made It dip ai ' - Its naming lll, fa n Made rainbows on the Mid. -Milwaukee rlentlnel KnewWhat He Wanted. Young (lent Urn or do jou over Inko back goods and return tbo moneyT Jeweler No, sir, but If jou havo an engagement ring I'll melt It up for you and pay for tho gold N. Y Weckl) Embarratilng. (Initio Yos, whllo I was talktni to Miss Itoso sho had a faraway, pleated look In her eyes Miss Sharp Perhaps sho was Ihlnklng that )ou were far ajr. Chicago Dally News. Good Taite. Its bite may lead to marrtact Hut 1 ran tell you thle-Tltnl thle-Tltnl I don't blame a microbe Kor lurking In a Mis. Houston 1'oiU True Reciprocity, Clnrcnco I told tho minister he might kiss you Cordelia And what did be tajf Clarence Ho thanked mo, sod said that under tho circumstances he would forego the usual fee. Illustrated Illus-trated lilts. Humsn Nature. The puth of dutr lesdi, 'tli M'd. To self-approval. Hut A lot of people ilrlvo each day Tu find a shorter cut. Chlciso Dally News That Was All. Efflo Jack and I flthed for four bom a yesterday. Elsie Catch anything? Kfllo (coyly) Only Jack. Itojal Magailno. Yes, Indeed. 8he said that she Ihousrit It Perfect bills To so out for a row on a day like this: llul her arms were hart end 1 we with sorrow. That bllis to-day will mien bllilers to- morrow Cleveland Leader Not on the Progrsmme "Of course," sho said, yci -a Hon the cake walk, professor" "The er the take madam? No," eturned th professor B" !un. Jer a strung Inns, you underaUetd I havo kevn tha iLt-- moMUxe, I i IT 18 80 HARD TO UNDERSTAND' WOMAN. 'Odd. you cant understand a w..m sn " ho said, disgustedly It s tu uie trlng" What's happened now" I I met that pretty Miss Swift In a tnrk hallwsv and klsied her 1 dllnl , lunk shed mind, yon know ' And she did mind"' Will she pretended to be vin hi I L id I thought I'd smooth il I mi t telling her that It , i 'i 'ike-that I thought slu w,i! - ii . In d elie ' Mid then' v i then she rall was very an i i ludge Judging by Looks, I 'i on Bhe ss)s sho Is 28 sears oM I Uicrt Well, she looks ns If she wou J nay she was about that old Yonkcrs Statesman ThTcld, Old" Story. He i-ouldi t rrsd his title clear To mansions In the iklea. In fact he had none anywhere- lie dldn I adrertlee Chltico Ileiord-llerald. The Rule or Coif. Clara Can you always tell n bo-tinner bo-tinner on the links' Claude Well, as n rule you can't tell him much Clnclnnntl Enquirer. Olory. I want In t an lee man. And with the Ire man itsnd, An auto at I he sidewalk. A bank book In my hand -Milwaukee Henllnel In the Wee Hours. "What was thai nolso In tho parlor last night?' ' Why, Ilender came homo from tha club and started to maka that electrical elec-trical cxpcrltmnt." What electrical experiment?" Why, rubbing a black cat on tho back to see If ho could eeo any sparks "And did ho rco any sparks?" "No. but ho snw a myriad of stars. Tho cat clawed him, and ho fell over tbo piano Chicago Dally Naws. A Sure Cure. The Norcllit I am troubled with Insomnia I Ho awake at night thinking think-ing about my novels, Tho Critic Why don't you get up and read ono ot them? Ilrooklyn Eagle. 8end Check. llle wife Ii at the seashore. And every day s a gay dsyi Ills dausliter Is with mamma. And every day a n wade day; Hut lhy write lovely letters-He letters-He sen one every ay day Houston 1'mi Settling. Tbo seedy looking stranger approached ap-proached tbo Questions and Answers editor. "May 1 bavo your assistance," ho askod, "In settling a wager?" "Certainly, sir." "You're sure It'll be no trouble to you?" "None at all. I'm perfectly willing to help you." "Lot me havo $10, then, I lost." Clovclaud Leader. Hairy Persiflage. Harbor Hair cut or shave, sir? Customer Eh? Ob, merely cut, thank you A Layman'a Impression, 'Tather," said tho small boy, "wkat Is a scientist?" "A scientist, my son, Is a man who can tell you things you already know In such unfamiliar language that you regard It aa something brand now." Washington Star Desrl Alicia Oh, that poem ot yours It Just the deaiust thing! Alphonso I should say It Is. 1'vo spent flu worth of stamps sending It if inagatlnes Cleveland Loader, |