Show Cape I 1 Wasn't Wasn t Lost T Tom Tam am Learns Native Arouses Ire of Vice Vice Ex President on Exploration BY DY RRY IL B D HUNT C U Service ilce Writer CTr July 31 31 I vi V v Knowledge says Tom Mar Mar- shill Mar shull II vice ex-vice phil phil- philosopher philosopher phil philosopher Is is after all relative I In proof of ot which the HoosIer oage cites the following recent ex- ex experience ex experience I while exploring the wilds of the Cape Cod country lOt I x was trying to get to inn rn stable stable from Yarmouth ammouth by way of stable Cummaquid Marshall sa sas s hen henI I lost my way thy rio-thy however howe I II Imet Imet Imet met n a typical Cape ambling I aimlessly along the road Thinking he surely could give h e me rn In mv bear bear- bearings I logs Ins I hailed him How Ho doI do I go RO to get e-cl to Dar stable Barn t- t I asked And about how far is It If The native topped stopped looked at for me a I m Im shook his hm head tASo SO Wr LOST ho he drawled Well Vell how far is it to cumma- cumma cummaqUid quid Cumma-quid I qUid lashed I asked Daon t that either You dont know very tory much do you I said exasperated b bv the s 's apparent lack of Interest Well not not not he ho said But I aln aint t lost WILLIAM TILLIAM A A ATTiCS ATRES RIS of Wichita I II vI I Han Kan an ho aho returns to this fall after having been side side- sidetracked sidetracked tracked temporarily by a Republican I can made mado his bis congressional campaign back In In 1914 when the thO th Dull Bull Moosers were stall rampant In the tho Sunflower state Called on one afternoon wIllie while passing through a small town for fora fora fora I a few pertinent political remarks Ayres climbed up on the nearest a elevation ele which happen happen- happened happen happen-ed I ed to be some somo newfangled con con- conI contraption con contraption standing in front of ot the I towns town's farm implement storo store As ho squared away and clear his throat for tor the ch he ho noticed I a wave of smiles and then open sweep through tho the audi audi- ero I Smatter Smaller he be sotto otto oco of a henchman at lila his heels Dont Don't vou ou know what that Is youre you're standing on 7 canto came the whispered answer That's a ma- ma manure manure ma manure nure spreader Talk falk about working the old bean nh-ht nh theres there's where William A Ayre showed the populace how quickly he could sprout and gentlemen he be- be began be began gan gaa without hesitation This Thie Is the first time I over ever mado made a a speech from a Bull DuH Moose platform The most successful speech I ever made In my life lire Ayres Ayrea rent remi reminisces nl as he recalls that eventful moment in his hia la career JOHN JOHN N TIU lA of Fayetteville Fayette- Fayette 1 f ville yule Ark who represents the Third district In congress volun- volun volunteers volun teens to Inform wonderful Republicans Republicans cans why southern and western farm tarm rs are on the war path John Hula Huls a neighbor of mine bought six bushels of rye for seed Tillman Tiliman says It cost him 60 ceas a or 3 GO CO But Dut when lie he went to the depot to got get It ho he found a freight bill of 5 6 5 or 1 I a bushel John just naturally cant can't figure how either cither he or the fellow aho ho sold him hint tho the rye got a a I square deal lie He sort of It think thinks something s wrong Also another neighbor of ot mine I raised a lot of ot fine tine early water water- watermelons watermelons melons this spring lIe He planted pleated the seed tended cm em fought the bugs and got 7 cents apiece for em In Inthe inthe the field The railroad got 21 cents apiece tor for hauling em cm to New I ew York and the tho folks who bought jt en em there paid 1 50 each R FITZ 11 REPRESENTATIVE ROY ROT FITZ- FITZ FITZI FITZGERALD GERALD GIRALD of Ohio who served as a 0 captain of Infantry In the theA theA theA I A E B F when h ho weighed In at Dayton recently preparatory to toI I his duties as ns an officer In Ini Inthe inthe inthe i the reserve reserve with a few row wees service 1 Continued on TWO CAPE V WASN'T LOST TOM LEARNS Continued from froni Page rage One JIt t Camp Knox Enox found to his hia horror that that as ns a n leisurely legislator he head llad ad acquired altogether too much Weight for tor a frisky tighter fighter The showed shoed pounds which Was was at least lean 30 pounds too much The Tho resulting regiment to which the ftc Bucke e congressman subject subJect- subjected subjected ed d himself left out nothing ever tried Gibbons Gibbone by Willard Gib- Gib Gib bons bone Firpo or other occasional re- re reducers re And it was wag a happy Fitz Fitzgerald re-I re gerald who got by inspection sIth- sIth with without out a down call-down from Crom his colonel I Re He took oft off just 30 pounds to do It It |