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Show flCathleen Norris Says: Here Come the Brides! "(Bell Syndicate WNU Service.) Marriage is usually the first important step that a girl takes as an independent inde-pendent person. Before that advice and influence have been used liberally by uncles, aunts, mother, father, everyone. Loyalty If there is any essential quality that a bride must acquire or possess it is a feeling of loyalty to her hus-band, hus-band, according to this message by Kathleen Norris. If marriage is going to be lasting j and enduring, loyally must be pres- ent. Naturally, the choice she makes isn't going to be perfect. Everybody has a few faults and the new bride must soon realize this and make allowances'. al-lowances'. If she doesn't she finds herself in plenty of trouble before too long. With loyalty goes its counterpart trust. This too is vital to a happy wedded life. With these two elements ele-ments no marriage can fail. brother or even her mother snugly ensconsed in his especial chair when he reached home tired and hungry, hun-gry, and there never will be. "Talk about loyalty!" says Jane. "Why, I'm always going to put my mother first and Dick Brown may as well know it!" But that isn't the answer, and if Jane's mother is a sensible woman she'll be the first to admit it. As for the old school friends, when with a visible and violent effort, finding them for a third time enjoying en-joying his home in the late afternoon, after-noon, Dick makes himself be civil to them. Jane is amazed to feel her spirit flaming suddenly into resentment. resent-ment. She loves Dick, but it is utterly ut-terly unreasonable of him to dislike dis-like Peggy and Joan. And surely, just because one's married one needn't be disloyal to old friends! Loyalty, Haven in all Tempests. It does sound irrational. And yet if Jane wants her marriage to continue, con-tinue, wants to build a complete and happy and successful relationship relation-ship between herself and her new husband, she will often have to be irrational, and he will, too. They will often have to forego reason for that higher attitude in which all logic disappears in the warmth of confidence and love. All marriages have their difficult moments, but By KATHLEEN NORRIS HER marriage is usually the first important step that a girl takes as an individual, independent person. per-son. Before that everything has been more or less discussed dis-cussed by the family, and advice ad-vice and influence have been used liberally by uncles, aunts, mother, father, everyone. every-one. Even Anna, waiting on the family table, has had her word to say. "Don't you go off east to college, col-lege, Miss Jane. You stay where your friends are," says Anna. "Mother needs you, lovey," says Grandma. "I'd just as soon go a little easy on the financial end," hints Dad. "Now, whether you go or stay home, let me talk to you I about your clothes," says Aunt Margaret, Mar-garet, who works in a frock shop. Jane goes to college. Immediate- ly the agonizing question of a sorority so-rority arises, and all the girls tell Jane such contradictory things that she frequently goes into hysteria before be-fore deciding between the merits of Kappa and Theta. When she buys clothes her chum goes along. When she gets an invitation in-vitation Mother suggests a yes or a no. The books she reads, the hats she wears, the dances and nightclubs night-clubs she frequents are all a matter mat-ter of mass selection; Jane only asks to be allowed to do what the other girls do. Then comes the awful moment when she has to make up her mind whether she wants to marry Dick or doesn't. Nobody can help her here. Mother says she likes Dick, but then she likes lots of other boys, too. Dad nods his head thoughtfully while murmuring: "nice young man. Very good head." But that's as far as he will go. The girls chorus to Jane that they think Dick is divine, and among themselves say quite different differ-ent things, and Jane knows that they do. WIU De saleiy weathered weath-ered as long as there is rockbound, unfailing, instant loyalty between a man and his wife. So put that into your spiritual hope-chest first of all, you brides of June. Love is a beautiful thing and while young love and passion last they fulfill the law; they brim life with ecstasy. But when they waver, when they are overclouded for a time, then put loyalty in their place. Be dignified, digni-fied, be silent about the trifles in which your new husband fails you. Whether he is at a bridge party ' and playing pretty poor bridge or ' at a golf club and far behind the others at golf, or floundering in some conversation that threatens to make him ridiculous, or ill at ease in some group of your old friends, make him feel that your admiration and under-standing under-standing are his as a matter of course. He won't mind any of the humiliations or awkwardnesses of the .evening if he knows that you are tnEh bv,eSMe him' his wife' nd gt d to be h.s wife, and ready to talk a all over on the way home. Devotion Pays. tWWTaUeli ia,way "preaching me ftot I make him feel ashamed," one of last autumn's brides writes no VofrbVyVarrmot'-0- fulthanWaitenTcrtlrr not going to make much of him for Sltb511'' dne a"d mat I like being poor better than I would iike beilg SUCCQSs!ibM 1 tltud0emnButaee Can.su,-V've'tatat. mu de. ut any wife who is won-denng won-denng iule wisltl,n n a little silent these days h bWn P SOmC Of the bloom some of the radiance I s gone from their marriage, may ,'d the answer here. Loyalty First Problem. In selecting Dick she learns, with a little first premonition of the gravity, grav-ity, the pain of wifehood, that she has to be loyal to him. She can't criticize him any more, or laugh at him. She can't let anyone else criticize criti-cize him or laugh at him. One of the bewildering features of an engagement en-gagement is this first obligation of loyalty. Often the effect of this on the engaged en-gaged girl is to make her feel lonely. lone-ly. She wants everyone to approve of her choice, indeed to envy her And if Dick fails her in any way it is much more natural for her to turn back to the old group, and see him as they do, rather than sticking to her own secret conviction that he can't do anything wrong. No saying was ever truer than that misery wants company; sometimes one sees engaged girls or young wives acting very skittishly, saying tilings they don't mean at all, and all the time eyeing Mama and the girls to see how they feel about Dick's absurdities, ab-surdities, trying to convince them that she, the bride, thinks him rather rath-er ridiculous, too. And yet all the while she wants him to be 100 per cent loyal to her-it her-it breaks her heart, it crushes her' if he shames her or laughs at her m the presence of his old friends or his family. Where Trouble Lurks Old friends and family! It is in these quarters that so much of the troubta arises, and there is need of oyalty. Sometimes a bride rati,-er rati,-er likes her husband's brothers and and so much fun! But there never was a husband yet who really likcd to have his wife's married si ter her aunt Mattie, her high schooi |