Show r- r fl Fi Kathleen a t hI hIen e en Norris Norris' Says r Home Coming Coming Coming- Home Problems Bell Syndicate dJ ca te n U Features y F g h Y N f 1 1 f J t t LJ I y i 1 Give him Film a little responsibility about the baby Let Carl see that Junior gets dis disciplined disciplined and isn't always first I By KATHLEEN NORRIS RAFTER r FTER 22 months overseas f A my mJ husband came home homet t JL last October honorably discharged writes a Spring- Spring l 1 field Reid woman Carl is 24 I am 20 We have a boy who was born eight after his father went went away Carl and I had known e each ach other only four months bee beI before before be be- I fore we were married had on- on lly l y six weeks together It seemed then as if it were the real thing we Ave loved each other deeply and our letters never lost their tone of passionate devotion His concern when he knew a baby was coming the ridiculous things he bought for the baby in inI I Wales where he was stationed his excitement over a sons son's arrival all helped to carry me through that bad 4 time We lived with my mother junior Junior and I and waited for daddy to come back to us Carl Sr was in the first parachute attack on ona a r France was wounded and hospitalized hospital- hospital for some months went back backi i into active service again and was discharged because of an attack of stomach ulcers for which he is now I being treated He has now rejoined his father and brother in a very successful successful suc suc- catering and pastry business business business busi busi- ness long established in the family I I am employed in this family business business business busi busi- ness calling on clients in their own homes and making arrangements 1 for lor weddings and receptions My law in and two in brothers-in- law are extremely kind to me and the whole relationship is pleasant and easy Completely Changed Now Carl comes back a completely completely com com- t f changed character In the first place he responded very indifferently indifferently to the baby naturally Junior was not won by a father who glanced at him so coldly and Will not go to Carl at all Then Carl didn't like my living with my mother moth moth- er although he and I had never had hada a home here but only six weeks week together together together to to- gether in California near a camp We have no furniture and housing is scarce My mother is very gentle and kind and being with her would certainly solve my housekeeping problems and enable me to go on helping with the income With me Carl is silent and disagreeable disagreeable disagreeable dis- dis agreeable shaking off oft all affectionate affection- affection fate ate overtures telling me briefly that he wants to get away saying that his fathers father's business makes him sick sneering at our optimistic J remarks concerning the war and at atthe atthe l the same time refusing to tell us anything of his own experiences on onI I the ground that he is sick unto death 1 of the whole thing He refuses to have Shave the stomach operation the doctors doc doc- tors think advisable but not urgent and is altogether unmanageable Fand and miser miserable ble Of course that makes us all sad I am so 50 willing to be a good loving wife to him and could so easily love him again for he was wasa wasla la a wonderful wise natured good-natured man when I married him but I cannot much longer buck against this constant constant con- con stant attitude of being bored or displeased displeased displeased dis dis- pleased pleased I Would d you advise me and the baby to leave him would you advise advise advise ad- ad vise a divorce or what would you advise Dear Lisa 1 I would advise you to give Carl time and to employ that time with every means in your l 4 7 l i I n J F l 1 1 j t i I e C ll I n If 6 J b L r rl t 1 l 1 U Ui ut IJ r I- I Ilie lie fie is silent and disagreeable i J r. r RECOVERY TAKES TIME l The terrible impact o of f war ivar on a soldiers soldier's nerves is something people peo peo- pie who stay at home can never understand This is particularly true of a sensitive young man who has been exposed to some extremely extremely extremely ex ex- horrible experience Such a case is related in this article A young wife tells Miss Norris about her husband Carl a parachute trooper who was teas released released released re re- re- re leased because o of f stomach ulcers Carl was ivas as devoted and affectionate affection affection- ate until he returned from ice Now he seems cold and detached detached de de- Cached showing little interest in his baby son or his wife Everything Everything Every Every- thing seems unimportant and trivial He is critical o of f his wife and everyone else This difficult phase says Miss Norris is a common experience o of f combat veterans The shock of battle lingers for months There is nothing to do but to be patient and cc considerate power to convince convince him that love and peace and home life are the normal status of American husbands and fathers and that after a n while he will begin to realize how much he has bas left He has had an overdose of cruel reality loneliness guns danger pain illness cold He will gradually gradually gradually ally come back to his old cheerfulness cheerful cheerful- ness of outlook Put Him First But while this slow curative process is going on help him by being completely reasonable That Thatis is dont don't look for rational or normal normal normal nor nor- mal conduct in him If he feels the baby is spoiled agree with him and be a little hard on the baby If he is sick of meals in your mothers mother's company take him out to dinner or encourage him with talk of hunting for a little apartment or or better a little farm of your own If he glooms about the war gloom with him immediately immediately immediately im im- im- im mediately afterward conceding that valor courage defense of America are splendid things however they are evoked Above all put him first Make him important At any cost be always free to walk with him plan with him buy architectural books and study them with him Give him a little responsibility about the baby let Carl see that Junior gets disciplined disciplined disciplined and isn't always first Meet his look with laughter and affection start every sentence with his name and I want to Carl to-Carl Carl Carl was saying say say- ing Carl ing-Carl Carl thinks thinks- Two factors are working against you One is the frivolous nature of the family business sure to jar on a aman aman aman man just returned from facing such ghastly realities The other is stomach stomach stomach ach ulcers These come nearer to driving men insane than any other purely physical ailment I know of But you are not the only woman who has had this home coming-home problem problem problem lem to solve Lisa You will soon be joined by a million others this is going to be our real postwar lem And a good marriage is worth saving There is a very special sense of triumph and joy in the happiness we win through doubt difficulty and pain |