| Show F LOVER V Si f Twenty five years have elapsed since I the disappearance of Richard McFarlane In World War I and his wife Julia Is beset with fresh worries as the children she has raised with the aid of her father law father in law John I. I McFarlane become be be- come Involved In World War II n. Hie has washed out of the air corps while Jill Jm falls fails hopelessly In love with Spang Span Gordon Jill and Spans Span go CO to toa toa toa a dance and when Spang doesn't profess his love for her Jill Is hurt lIe He does docs x tell her however that Klc Ric Is paying attention to a divorcee dl of ot questionable character Jill determines to go to cai ca carp jp p to see her brother and also to ta- ta task tak k E to Spang again She t tells Us Julia her her plans CHAPTER VI VIk It k F I think its it's a beautiful ul idea Dave was in love with you when you were seventeen he told me so Grandfathers Grandfather's old and Im I'm not going goIng going go- go Ing to be around forever forever I I hope Though you may have me on your hands Maybe Ill I'll be bo one of those bright spinsters who fade reluctantly reluctant reluctant- ly and get hors horsy with tanned leath er hides and lean hands that grab for highball highbaU glasses Or I might turn coy and wear pastel-colored pastel clothes too young for me and make makeup up tales about my lover who died in the great war Could be Dont be disgusting Jill Julia spoke crisply as she went out Julia went to her room and closed the door Though the working outfit outfit outfit out out- fit she wore was soiled and dusty she sat down on the edge of her prim white bed Jill's abrupt remark flung in her face as ruthlessly as a adash adash adash dash of cold water had set stirring within her that current of rebellion that she had fought so long and conquered conquered conquered con con- up to now Why couldn't she grow old Old and cold and patient with no dampened dampened dampened damp damp- ened fire flaring to trouble her at unexpected moments no dreams to drift like clouds across her dull horizon What a relief to tobe tobe tobe be old so that she would never again have to know this aching lack this hunger within herself for a little little little lit lit- tle understanding a little tenderness tenderness tenderness tender tender- ness Richard was dead and yet he would not die Something of him stayed alive to tease and haunt her as he had tortured her when her love for him had made her abject and naive and too pit pitifully ully able For years John I. I had been nagging nagging nagging nag nag- ging at t her to have Richard declared declared declared de de- legally de dead d. d So many things were involved he argued The title 1 L L the to iu LU LUt property Y her iier children s inheritance in inheritance m- m everything she had worked so long and so hard to at at- tain thin What m money ney John I I. I had Julia knew was willed to Jill He had al always always always al- al ways been a little impatient with Ric dubious about him Money ruined the McFarlane men he declared declared declared de de- softened and spoiled them Only work could save them Because Because Because Be Be- cause she knew how John I I. I felt Julia had been a bit more generous with her son foolishly generous no doubt but her lenience had eased some grimness in her the unforgiving unforgiving unforgiving giving thing she had not been able to conquer The war the air corps had been right for Ric she was certain The farm had always irked him but his recklessness would be appeased by combat She had put her maternal apprehensions down and forced herself herself herself her her- self not to worry Ric had to do this thing it meant salvation for him And then for some reason unexplained un un- explained explained because because a desperately efficient army machine never bothers bothers bothers both both- ers with explanations Ric had failed his examinations for the Cadet cadet cadet ca ca- det corps The punk Jill had been scornfuL scornful scorn scorn- ful He slid through college on his ear and he expected to get by bya a military board the same way Hell He'll be a Joe gunner or a grease monkey now Haunting Memories 0 Of Richard But Ric's luck had held the same luck that had been with him when he talked himself out of jams at school when he slid free tree of speeding charges when he wangled extra money from his fuming ther He had got an assignment to I officers officer's school I Hell flunk it you'll see Jill said But Julia had held to hope because because be- be cause ause cause she was Ric's mother Ric was was' her deep heart Ric was the theman man in her life But never from jr her handsome insolent son had she had consideration or tenderness i To old John I I. I she was a p partner I t adequate standing on her own feet wise But to Dave Patterson she t L was a woman Leaning her burning cheeks in firm palms Julia wondered if she shead bad ad depended on Dave too much He had been the one person to whom she owed no responsibility other than the gladly given gift gUt of kindness and comradeship he he had been a rock on which at times her weariness had rested She had been f fooling herself of course And now Jill's sharp young ruthlessness had torn all her carefully arranged pretenses to shreds She had known for a long time th that t Daves Dave's feeling for her was more than friendliness I She had pushed the knowledge away she had Chad refused to Acknowledge it even to herself She had tried to hold him off yet keep him too She knew now how unfair she had been Having little to give she had taken too much cherishing the small warm feeling of being separate of being chosen Somehow she had to make it up to Dave That she could love him himin himin himin in return was something this rigid thing in her heart would not permit her tier to consider She had frozen herself into a mold so long ago She could not alter the form of what she must be to herself but with that sureness came an overwhelming overwhelm overwhelm- ing loneliness She had dedicated herself to a memory to a ghost I and it was like being chained to an tomb The dreadful part was that there was always hat secret feeling of menace about tHat tomb Im a fool she said aloud sharply snatching her hands down and jerking her body erect She doused her face with cold water water wa- wa ter er gave her hair a few disciplining strokes with a brush She had to take the truck and go out and check the corn yield with John I I. I Love she Love she twisted her mouth as she thought of it There was ho no noI 1 d I v J i I I J I I I 1 I So nice to see you again Spang time for for love And no dignity t I about it for a woman past forty a woman who had spent herself for love love ove once and got only a promissory promissory promissory promis promis- sory note for recompense That it had been only the fevered passion of a girl that this other ache in her heart was real and living living living liv liv- ing she would not admit even to herself But Dave must not be hurt He had loved another woman once been married to her for a brief time but she knew that that old love was now only something frail and sweet to Dave a fragrance like that of a pressed flower a wreath laid on a slender grave But that grave had closed while if she Julia had hada a grave to keep it would not green it would not soften with time it gave her no peace Brother and Sister Talk TalkA A sidling thought came into her mind Perhaps if she was clever about it she could maneuver Dave into falling into love with Jill He was too old for her her her-as as old as her I father as a matter of fact fact but Daves Dave's heart was youthful while Jill had grown a little too mature had let her age trouble and tense her It would solve two of her problems problems problems lems it would ease her conscience she thought But also it would leave her terribly alone With no one but John I I. I who fought off age fiercely but who must succumb inevitably to what he called that damn almanac She would not think about herself she would not think at all She would concentrate on meat-curing meat formulas formulas formu formu- las she would give up bothering about stick lip-stick and the right foundation foundation foundation foun foun- dation garment She would grow old like a country woman with no graces graces utilitarian She made herself herself herself her her- self believe this as the little truck rattled up the rocky lane and through the gate into the vast corn corn- field She walked between the ripening ripening ripening ripen ripen- ing rows and jerked at thorny vines that snatched at her ankles she tore away husks and examined the drying ears critically Old John I I. I marched beside her saying nothing But she could almost almost almost al al- al- al most feel his keen eyes burning into her she knew what he was thinking because he had told her bluntly not so long ago That she was a sentimental sentimental sentimental senti senti- mental weak-minded weak fool The hotel near Ridley Field was always excitingly full uIl of officers and other un uniformed ormed men and Jill had hada a new dress of aquamarine faille that brought out all aU the fruity tints of her hair and a saucy little hat that did exactly the right things for her eyes She called the field and left a message message message mes mes- sage for Ric as soon as she arrived and presently he t telephoned eph d her his s 1 voice sounding just a trifle tient Hello Jill I wasn't expecting you down Mother with ith you No Nor Dooley didn't come How Howare Howare Howare are you Can you get off to have dinner with me tonight Ric Ric hesitated for a breath Not sure he said then been mighty tight with pass passes lately Ill I'll see what I can do to and call you later I thought you always had a B pass into town canceled a lot of passes in our squadron I might be able to wangle one Stick around the telephone and Ill I'll let you know Tell them your only sister came miles to have a look at you You arent aren't being shipped out are you Ric No orders yet Nothing but ru ru- mors Mothers Mother all right Oh yes everything is fine Try to get in will you I came a long longway longway longway way to see you Ill do my best Jill JiU but this is the army you know Jill hung up with some irritation Now she must wait till she heard from Ric before she called Spang She tried to summon a gay assurance assurance assurance assur assur- ance as she made herself pretty before before before be be- fore the mirror but her heart was shivering and she decided that if Spang brushed her off casually this time she would go back to the farm and d devote herself to pigs for for- ever An hour passed before Ric telephoned telephoned telephoned tele tele- phoned again Sorry Jill no soap Tough luck for both of us Could you see me at the gate after five if I came out in a taxi Ric Cant even do that Im I'm stuck on a detail tonight Sorry I didn't know you were coming down or I would have tried to make a swap of some kind Let me know a week in advance next time will you And give Mother my love Ill I'll try to write next week Been busy as the devil All right Ric Sorry Good Probably he had had his pass canceled canceled canceled can can- for some reason that he didn't want to tell her But now Ric was definitely out of it and she was free to spend the week-end week as she pleased So she put in another call for the field and asked to speak to Lieutenant Spencer Gordon only to be told that the lieutenant had signed off the post and gone to town Well if he was in town there was a chance that she he might meet t- t thi hi hiso him so she touched up her up make-up and gave her hat the right tilt and went downstairs For all her reckless remarks remarks remarks re re- re- re marks to her mother she had always always always al al- al- al ways despised girls who ran after men and were easy to get and therefore vulnerable but this was different She wasn't going to hurl herself at Spang's head She was going to be lightly indifferent though heaven knew it wouldn't be easy keeping a cool head while her heart was burning like a mad bonfire bonfire bonfire bon bon- fire Spang was nowhere about when she went down but she knew that this small and continually crowded hotel was the town rendezvous for all the officers and men at the field So she went into the room dining-room and took a long time ordering her dinner not looking around ignoring the groups of jaunty lads in khaki who turned on her bright direct glances If Spang came into the room she would know it Something acute within her tuned to response would know when he was near She was wasso wasso wasso so sure of this that she ate very slowly buying an evening paper from a soiled little boy studying the pages with exaggerated interest sips of the slightly warm tomato juice they brought her So she was startled an hour later later later lat lat- lat lat- er when the dinner having dragged itself out through three cigarettes she rose at last to go and there was Spang sitting near the door with two other officers They were finishing plates of apple pie Second Meeting With Kith S Spang pang Spang jumped to his feet as she approached and the other men got up too Why hello Jill he cried I didn't see you ou in here May fay I present present present pre pre- sent Lieutenant Crawford and Lieutenant Lieutenant Lieutenant Lieu Lieu- tenant Stark Miss McFarlane The two young men bowed and Spang pulled out a chair Sit down and have something more with us Jill When did you come down Mrs McFarlane with you No I came alone Jill dropped into a chair leaned her chin on her palms smiled at the three of them impartially I came down to see Ric Ric-my Ric my brother she explained to the two strangers but it seems hes he's forfeited his pass or something and I was just lust making up my mind whether the bus or train would bethe bethe be bo bothe the most hectic way to get home So nice to see you again Spang You mean mead you were going home without even letting me know Spang demanded scowling at herI herI herI her I did telephone Jill kept her touch light But you'd left the post and it didn't occur to me Id I'd meet you here TO BE CONTINUED J r II |
