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Show CKXDCXXXXHJOCOOCXXXXXXXXXXXX) jj MR. BOWSER R g STARTS REFORM S 8 -But It Is Worse Than the 8 8 Evil He Would Cure. 8 g Ey M. QUAD. i iroooooooooooooooooooonnro (, 1121. by MeClure Newspaper Syndicate.) Nuiliiii -so irritates Mr. ISowser ns to have tlie street peddlers go up and down, in front of his house, yell-In;.' yell-In;.' their wares, and, on many oeca-Fiuns, oeca-Fiuns, he has oi:e out and quarreled with ihe:n. hut lie has found them rlaiminj; their rights, their licenses from the city permitting thein to yell. The other night, as Mr. Uowser sat rending, a vegetahle peddler stopped at his gate and kept calling out, for live long minutes. He had a voice like a hnn.l-saw trying to saw a spike in two. and It must have muiin olher people nervous. Mrs. Bowser feared that there would tie a riot, and he hegan to drum on the piano, to distract Mr. Bowser's attention. It 'as In vain, however. He rose up ith the exclamation: "By thunder, woman, do you think I am going to siand that?" 'He will go home, presently," answered an-swered Mrs. Bowser, drumming louder 'Jinn before. "Stop that infernal racket! Isn't It l ad enough to hear that fellow yell? j I am going out and kill him. He is j the one of all the ones who make j this trouble. Just listen to his j voice! Why, it would scare a baby to death !" "Mr. Bowser, just wait one minute flud- he will drive on." "I won't wait one blamed second ! Don't you come out and mix in ! There will be gore Hying around, and 1 may also tip bis wagon over and kill his horse 1" Mr. Bowser rushed down the hall and out of doors. He was hare-headed and wore his dressing gown. The jieddler had not moved on. lie was no; going to.. He sat there in his seat in a comfortable position, and he was Koing to yeil as long as he wanted to. He saw Mr. Bowser coining out, and lie called and he shouted: "I have got them ! Do you want some siring beans? They are on a string! I have onions and potatoes and cucumbers! I have some of the uiiest celery here that a king ever chewed on ! Oh oh oh ! (.'tune and buy !" Mr. Bowser came! And he had ground glass in his voice, as he said: "Iy)ok here, old feller, you want to quit this! If you don't, I am going to murder you !" "Kay, old party, what ails you?" "I'll show you what ails me! If you holler again, there'll be bloodshed blood-shed r "Come, now, but I got to holler, or the folks won't know 1 am here. You wouldn't have known I was here. I Din only making my living and you shouldn't object. Is It my voice you complain of?" "Of course I complain ahout it !" answered Mr. Bowser. "It is the worst vilce in the United States!" "Til tell you what is the trouble ivlth my voice. Mr. Bowser, for, you Fee, I know you. J was fool enough to bet five dollars that I could put a billiard ball in my mouth. I put it there, hut I could not get It out again. The doctors worked at me for two days, and they knocked out most of my "Mr. Bowc-er I Have Come to Try Your , Way." tet'ih. Tlii'y fin.illv h;ul to j:it n stick ti t i f 1 pnncli tin hall down my throni. It is lodged ripht flu Imse of mv (hit. at and ilial's what the tnnihlt is Willi my tones. I know tli.:i some fdJis don't like to hear ni hut wimt Bin I (o do? I have n wh'e luid five 'hildren to support, and ynii should pirv n;e. instead of thirsting for mv I life." ' Mr. Ucwser bwt a trood part of his t iiger. and after a uii'cien! s thought, he said : "Look here. now. I vill tell you vhat to do. There Is in need of all this yelling. You Just come to the I. ruse. In a quiet and decent way. and ak If we want any of your stuff. If we do, we wiK buy it and so will other people. We most have reform in this thing, and that I the way to bring it about. Don't yovi see yourself that tl Is?" "Why, yes, that seems a good plan." answered the peddler, and he drove oft without any more yelling. Mr. Bowser Bow-ser re-entered the house, to boast to Mrs. Bowser; and, though she smiled to herself as one who doub"- '-e told him tliut hla plan would probably work. On the next evening at , about ti e same hour, there was a ring at the door bell. Sir. Bowser answered It himself, and there stood his peddler of the night before the man with the awful voice. He was surrounded with baskets of vegetables, and in almost a whisper, he said : "Mr. Bowser, I have come to try your way. Do you want any on'ons, carrots, turnips, beans, liens or cucumbers?" cu-cumbers?" "No, sir," was the prompt reply. "That is all right. Mr. Bowser. U I have disturbed you in any way, I beg your pardon. Good-night. Mr, Bowser good-night." "Thar fellow has got more sense than I thought he had," said Mr. Bowser, Bow-ser, as he returned to his paper. "Tli!s street ought to he thankful to me for working this great reform!" The reform began to die almost as soon as It was bom. There was another an-other ring at the hell. Mr. Bowser opened (he door to find a second ped "I Have Some Tomatoes as B;g at Your Fist." dler, and when he had gruffly asked what the fellow wanted, he was answered an-swered with : "Mr. Bowser. I am told you don't like our hollering, and so we ain't going go-ing to holler no more. I have callvd to see if you wanted any ve"elables. I have a load of them out he. e. and I warrant them fresh and sweet. Being us the hour Is late, and I want to gel home " "Well, you can ?o right home," interrupted in-terrupted Mr. Bowser, as he slammed the door, and he returned to Mrs. Bowser, muttering something about infernal in-fernal Impudence, to which she replied re-plied : "Don't he so impatient ; your reform seems to be working." In about 13 minutes there was a third ring and a third peddler snor" at the door and softly said: "Mr. Bowser, are you in want of some nice vegetables? I have some beauties out here, and there is a bargain bar-gain in every bunch of them. I hnvo some tomatoes here almost as big as your fist, and they taste better than oranges. If you want sugar beets " "I want ynu to bent It !" shouted Mr. Bowser, "and don't you ever come here again !" "Just as you say, old man," quietly replied the peddler. "If 1 have put yon out any. you must pardon me." When Mr. Bowser returned to the nlttlng room this time, he found Mrs Bowser trying hard to keep a soliei face, and he shouted at her: "Oh. it's very funny, is it? Well, I'll show you whether It's funny or not' If another peddler calls, he shall dit right on our door step!" No other peddler called. After lapse of a few minutes the telephone hell rang, and Mr. Bowser responded with a "hello" to hear a voice saving: "Mr. Bowser. I beg your pardon for disturbing yon. Do you want some string lieans for your dinner tomorrow? tomor-row? I have other things. I have some of the best potatoes you ever put your tooth in. and I'll give you a big bargain if you want a quart or two." "You infernal rascal !" yelled Mr. Bowser, ns he hung up the receiver. W'thin the hour there were fonf n-O'-e calls, and then Mr. Bowser pnf on his hat and left the house, hoping ro find someone and wash his hands In human blood. rd 11 hen he wns gor" Mrs. Bowspr naii 'he laughing hysterics. |