OCR Text |
Show - 4 IXkvq 'Tales . 4 Bij a Lieutenant in the United States Nauu " '' ' i " I " ' V .1 RED TAPE RED TAI'E was once the nionns of tyins up oltlclal documents. Nowadays Now-adays red tnpe is the menus of tying ap most anything from gumshoos to governments. Red tnpe may draw n line against the errors of slipshod workers. More often, however. It fetters fet-ters efficiency and makes a hangman's noose for action. Once in the fleet there was a captain cap-tain who desired an especially convenient conve-nient form of waste basket. He had it made on requisition by the navy yard. Unfortunately just as It arrived aboard he was ordered to another ship. In the confusion of departure the waste basket bas-ket remained behind. At the end of the quarter the captain's cap-tain's yeoman (clerk) made an Invoice as per "regs." Everything checked up O. K. but the basket. It was missing, and it could not be "expended" because be-cause it was an item of some value and rather new. A letter of inquiry was sent to the old ship stating the case and requesting request-ing that the article be forwarded. After Af-ter some weeks the letter was returned return-ed with several sheets of endorsements endorse-ments attached. It turned out that the navigator had taken the basket with him when he went to command a Pacific Pa-cific coast cruiser. The navigator "respectfully stated" that his baggage had gone adrift, the basket with it. Whereupon a survey ; or investigation was ordered by the original owner. The yeoman prepared all papers in due form explaining the loss of the article and forwarded them to Washington. These papers including sis endorsements endorse-ments of explanation were sent out to She navigator. vHe smeared on a few-more few-more and mailed the packet back to his old ship. On arrival the batch was not fully understood. It was endorsed a few times more and boosted on to headquarters, who shot It back. to the captain. Briefly that packet made the circuit four and a half times. Each time it connected a few dozen more endorsements, endorse-ments, remarks, comments, inquiries and respectful statements. Finally the captain called in his yeoman. yeo-man. "Jones," he said, "If I find that blankety-blank waste basket batch of tot on my desk again I'm going to disrate dis-rate you to coal-passer. If I don't find It I'll rate you up to chief." Jones aye-aye-sired and beat It. He looked up the monthly difference In pay between his rate and that of chief. It was . something like ten dollars. He went ashore and spent ten beans. Next day the captain found under his desk a fine new waste basket. It was Just like the one he'd lost. In the bottom of it was a pile of paper torn to bits. Red tape had been snipped in-t. in-t. to a million pieces. But suppose everybody started snipping.- SLOP CHEST MASTLESS battleships before long. A few years hence the last remnant rem-nant of oldtime spars will be uprooted and laid in the navy yards to rot Rigging Rig-ging has already gone. Upperworks are going. Elimination of the useless Is the cry. There is also metamorphosis. No, that's not a kind of bug. Metamorphosis Metamorpho-sis is change, such as dough to flap-Jacks flap-Jacks (not to dimes) ; mud to bricks; apes to men. Though the samples will not bear too- keen philosophical scrutiny scru-tiny they serve to illustrate the way old naval customs have become so rooted in the service that they do not disappear even after centuries, and when the old Roman catapult has given way to hundred-ton breech loaders. load-ers. They merely change. On a long cruise the sallorman runs shy of clothing. His work suffers in proportion to his Ill-clad condition. - Skippers have recognized this mari time maxim by keeping a slop-chest. Aboard a tidy man-of-war any mess Is known as 'slops.' Slop-chests hold a fe miscellaneous supply of seaman's clothing. Hence the name. ; An account of the first slop-chest ' was chronicled in 450 B. C. It con- : talned 1.000 garments, assorted in three sizes. The garments were exactly ex-actly alike and cut to fit the stern-r- sheets of galley slaves. Ethnologists sometimes refer to them (the garments) gar-ments) as breech-clouts. The largest "- " was a nautical cubit In circumference or nearly a life-size fathom. Columbus gave us the next authentic account of slop-chests In 1-192. He included in-cluded leather boots, woven shirts, dirks, breeches, sea-bonnets and neck erchiefs. He makes no mention of wrist watches. John Paul Jones turned the "slop-Job" "slop-Job" over to his supercargo or purser. However, he got his little rake-off at the end of the cruise. For it must be understood that 2,000 miles and a month out fixes a pretty good price on necessary apparel. Gum-boots were the greatest step offer the Civil war. Old sea-dogs put . them down as a sign that the navy was going to h 1. "The idea of a tar minding mind-ing wet feetl" Yet they daily turned to the chest for sewing gear, needles end thimbles, and the like. Then the Twentieth Century broke like u typhoon over our world. A holo- canst of progress swept nway the relics of man's past. Mechanical genius was supreme. Only the charred char-red stubble of original ideas remained. The slop-chest was one. Now we have the "Clothing and Small Stores Room." In It our mechanical mechan-ical Jack may procure silk neckerchiefs, necker-chiefs, Sheffield steel knives, and hand-sewn hand-sewn shoes, not boots, but gloves for his feet. The captain makes no rake-off, rake-off, and the purchase record is In quadruplicate. quad-ruplicate. It's still the slop-chest, however, how-ever, only different. That Is metamorphosis; which Is sometimes better than liver pills for i.Ieansing life. AIR CREDIT THE world has conceded the genius of Wright and Curtiss, but only as Individuals. In reality our national aeronautic prowess runs back sixty years and more. When we contemplate the $1,000,-000,000 $1,000,-000,000 which has been suggested for the next aviation budget, and the plan of building 30,000 machines In one year it Is a little difficult to understand the government's former attitude. The "balloon Idea" was brought to Washington In 1S01 v by Professor Lowe. He was a young Inventor who started us making artificial Ice. He died only four years ago after a long life which was calculated to spite his enemies in the capitol. They had called call-ed him a lunatic when 'he proposed to ! fly over the Confederate lines and bring back Information. There was a rumor that the hostile nrmv was about to attack. Young Lowe's balloon was used as a last resort. re-sort. He ascended about 3.000 feet, drifted over the enemy batteries, and returned with what proved to be straight dope that Johnny Red had no intention of starting anything. This exploit was such a feather In Lowe's bonnet that his pay was increased in-creased to $10 a day. Which ruined him. For, though he made subsequent flights or drifts, the "gross Indecency of paying a common Prof, such a sum when men were dying for less," created cre-ated a near-riot. As a compromise It was reduced to $6. But his retirement soon followed. Sic semper the "clt." The Union army then made its own "aerostats," as' they were called. Regular Reg-ular reconnaissance work was carried out, but as the balloon was always captive the zone of Inquiry was very narrow. Foreigners came over to investigate in-vestigate the wild rumors which had become rife In Europe. The technique of this early aviation corps was very crude. Their gas bags were of rough cotton goods, oiled, and doubled-spliced at the seams. Inflation was achieved by means of hot air from a pine-knot fire. A heavy rope anchored anchor-ed the balloon. Several times this got foul of the operators on the ground and had to be cut. The observer landed land-ed when and where he could. Usually he drowned or else ate his supper In a Confederate prison camp. STREAMS THE bridge Is shrouded In Impenetrable Im-penetrable gloom. So is the offlcer-of-the-deck. Inky black Is the splotch of a battleship ahead. Two shades blacker is the blotch of another in swift pursuit astern. The fleet is steaming 'darkened' In column. A bell rings. The O. O. D. never takes his tense eyes from the rail. "Hello," shouts a quartermaster down the engineroom voice-tube. "Condenser temperatures show we've run out of the stream," comes the muffled report. "U-m-m," grunts the O. O. D. as though bored. But he isn't. He knows the Gulf Stream has been left behind. The knowledge Is as definite as a "Times Square 1" shouted by a subway guard. Streams of ocean currents are the great rivers of the sea. Movement of the water Is caused .mostly by winds prevailing In one direction for long periods of time. The Gulf Stream is 50 to 250 miles In width and flows at the leisurely pace of 3 to 5 miles an hour. It swings upward along the Florida const, Is deflected de-flected by Hatteras, and shoots a cool three thousand miles to Iceland and the British Isles. A southern branch strikes the "Belly of Europe," as the Bay of Biscay is awkwardly called. All these countries It warms. But the Americnn const shivers in the chill of an arctic current. This frigid stream squirts from the mouth of Ballin bay and drenches with its berg-cooled spray the rocks of Labrador Labra-dor and Maine and the yellow Jersey sands. If, as has been proposed, a mammoth mam-moth breakwater were built eastward from New Foundland shooting the northern current out, America would become tropical In climate while our English brethren built snow Igloos. In the Tacific a Japan current and one from Behring sea correspond to the warm and cold pair in the Atlantic. At-lantic. The Alaskan coast, like England, Eng-land, Is warm. Below the continental tips a great stream runs clean around the world. In tfie South Atlantic, South Pacific nnd Indinn oceans are huge lazy whirlpools whirl-pools 3,000 miles In diameter caused by contrary currents. |