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Show Want to Become"Famous"? I5y ELMO SCOTT WATSON ' T'T '"TOULD you like to be famous? Would it p;ivc you a thrill to hove your picture printed in J f thousands of newspapers all over the United JQ-J W States and perhaps have the newsreel camera-Ufj camera-Ufj J men knock at your door and ask you to say a J few words while they cranked away at their machines? Would it i;ive you satisfaction to have people nude each other and remark in a low tone, as you passed by, ''Look! There's Joe Dokes. lie's the fellow, you know, who . . ." ' If your answer is "Yes" to all those questions, it's not difficult, you know, for you to attain any or all of those ambitions. am-bitions. You remember the saying, often attributed to Emerson, about building a better mouse-trap and having hav-ing the world beat a path to your door. But even if you have no "feel" for mousetrap mouse-trap construction or other evidences of inventiveness, that won't necessarily prevent pre-vent your achieving some measure of fame brief though it may be. Do you want to know how to do it? Well, let's consider some of the methods employed in recent months. There's the case of Ernest Vincent Vin-cent Wright of Los Angeles, the sixty-five-year-old World war veteran vet-eran who wrote a book. Before ' V" - "W-; i - . v ' ; f v. . ... t. ; ? 5' ' r- i j i s : r : -- 1 ERNEST VINCENT WRIGHT He wrote a 50,110-word novel without once using the letter "e" in it. doing it, he tied down the "e" key on his typewriter and never once used it in writing all the 50,110 words in his novel. That feat not only put his name and picture in all the newspapers but also won for him a chance to speak over the radio. And, of course, when he did he was very careful to avoid using words which contain an "e." Then there's the case of Dr. Thomas H. Staggers, mechano-therapist mechano-therapist of Cleveland, Ohio, who worked steadily for two days and succeeded in piling up a tower composed of 3,585 matches on the mouth of a beer bottle before a visitor, coming into the room with a heavy tread, caused the tower to collapse. Of course a variation on this piling matches up on a bottle is an old parlor trick which many a hostess has suggested when her party begins to "go dead." But it remained for Dr. Staggers to make a bid for fame with it. Immediately, Im-mediately, other people in various parts of the country tried to beat his record and for a time match-piling-up was a popular fad. I don't know who finally won the "title" of "champion" in performing perform-ing this feat (although I'll probably prob-ably hear from others who beat Dr. Staggers record because I haven't also mentioned their names). But, after all, does it matter? Ends Fast on Firty-Third Day. Consider, next, the case of Jackson Whitlow of Stooping Oak, Tenn., who heard "a command com-mand from God" and started to fast. For more than a month he abstained from food of all kinds while the world waited breathlessly breathless-ly each day to learn how he was enduring the self-imposed test of his endurance at least, the amount of newspaper space devoted de-voted to his fast and the pictures of him (sent by wirephoto) gave the impression that the world was waiting breathlessly. When the fast of this "man who talked with God" ended on the 53d day because "the Lord has told him to eat" physicians were quoted as saying that it was "one of the most remarkable cases in medical annals." Evidently Evi-dently they had forgotten some of the other fasters who had "hit the headlines" in years gone by. For instance there was Dr. Henry S. Tanner of Minneapolis, Minn., who, back in 1877, amazed the doctors by fasting for 42 days when they had declared that 10 days was the limit. Again in 1880 he staged a 40-day fast which attracted as much attention and got, if anything, more newspaper space than did Whitlow's this year. Next he challenged all comers com-ers to meet him in a $10,000 fasting contest in which each contestant con-testant was to receive daily a gallon jug of pure spring water but no food. The one who held out longest was to win the contest con-test and the ten thousand. The Champion Faster. But, such was the fame of Dr. Tanner as a faster, that he could find no one to take up his challenge. chal-lenge. Later he went to California where he inspired a colony of fasters to follow his example. Several of them made remarkable records nil the way from 41 to 49 days. But the champion was Mrs. A. II. Wiseman of Los Angeles An-geles who fasted for 54 days and by doing so reduced her weight from 280 to 226 pounds. Of course, the all-time record for abstaining abstain-ing from food was that made by Terrence MacSwiney, the Irish patriot, who fasted for 74 days back in 1920. But, strictly speaking, speak-ing, his isn't a "record" for he died as the result of his abstinence. ab-stinence. So if you are thinking of becoming be-coming famous by hanging up a new record in fasting, better think twice before you start. For there are other and safer ways of doing it. You might make something bigger even though not necessarily better than it has ever been made before. Take a tip from Louis Waynai, a Los Angeles carpenter, for instance. Last year the newspapers carried car-ried pictures of him displaying what was said to be the "largest Bible in the world." Its pages were three feet wide and three feet long and. using a hand-stamping hand-stamping machine which he constructed con-structed himself, he stamped into each of its 8,0-13 pages every separate letter, symbol and punctuation mark. The huge book was bound with metal and its weight was 1,094 pounds. He Won at "Chin Golf." Just recently J. O. Whipple, Jr., of Princeton university received re-ceived a silver cup for winning the first intercollegiate chin golf (shaving) contest in New York. Students from various eastern universities reported at the place where the contest was held with a 24-hour growth of whiskers on their faces. As in golf, the least number of strokes of the razor was to decide the winner. Whipple Whip-ple won with 31 strokes, no cuts and no penalties. All of which indicates that there's a great variety of ways in which you can become "famous" if you so desire. In fact, there ere so many different ways that y'M1 iiHHr-.... it f ? . -v. i V'-v t I v . . - ' ... r -5 ' 4 V . a v,..-j: ; . . 1 . - V ) -vfVvwv" " ' " ' ' t,' ' -.- - ; , ft? -.1 j ." s : - - v - , vx.,. . , -. .: ;v3 - . -r v -v-.-. . vn N - DR. THOMAS H. STAGGERS He succeeded in piling 3,585 matches on the mouth of a beer bottle. they might even be subdivided and classified in some such ways as this (A) those who are . . . (B) those who do something; and (C) those who don't do something. some-thing. Those Who Are. The (A) group might be subdivided sub-divided according to age as to "the oldest" and "the youngest." For example, Albert A. Cole of Portland, Maine, woke up one morning to find himself famous and his picture in the papers as the oldest active grocer in the United States because he was eighty-four years old and had served continuously as a retail t - ' " 1 t , ' ' 1 v .-' ' k . .: : ' ' ' - ' , I 1 ! ' ' i . - .-..' . - V4f . 'c L ? lir i v ' ' - - - kkjsi . ij, ,i Paying tribute to one of the queerest characters America ever produced, when "Emperor Norton" was reburied in Woodlawn cemetery cem-etery in San Francisco. Joshua Norton (1819-1880) proclaimed himself him-self "Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico," conferred con-ferred titles of nobility upon his friends and issued his own currency which was honored in payment of his debts by everyone acquainted with the old man's idiosyncrasies. grocer for 73 years, and eight months. Clear across the country, in Los Angeles, Calif., Mrs. Aba-gail Aba-gail Lefflngwell was being publicized pub-licized because she was "ninety-eight "ninety-eight years young," had just had a permanent wave. As for the "youngest," there was little ten-year-old Warren Rapelje of San Gabriel, Calif., who operates his own model airplane air-plane supply store in his home and, when he received his membership mem-bership in the San Gabriel Chamber Cham-ber of Commerce, became the "youngest commerce body member." mem-ber." Pictured also in the newspapers about that time were Kennard E. Goldsmith, twenty-three-year-old mayor of Portsmouth, N. H., "said to be the youngest municipal munici-pal executive in the United States." The Child Bride. But the fame of these was as nothing compared to that of the nine-year-old girl down in Tennessee who became the bride of a twenty-two-year-old man and who was pictured holding in her arms her husband's wedding gift a doll. For a time her name was on the lips of millions of people. Of course, you remember it! What! You don't? It was Eunice Eu-nice Winstead. It's Mrs. Charlie Johns now. The caption over a picture of Mrs. Inez Swanson of Los Angeles An-geles told of her distinction. "12 Times Married" it said and beneath be-neath the picture was a story telling tell-ing how she "exhibited as proof her marriage certificates and boasted 'I ain't never buried a husband yet.' " Compared to Mrs. Swanson, James Masse of Goderich, Ont., is a novice in the matter of marriage. He has been married only once but his picture appeared in the papers with "15 of his 21 children." It was taken "shortly after the birth of his twenty-first child" which accounted for Mrs. Masse's absence from the photograph. photo-graph. But at least she can share in the distinction suggested by these lines which were printed under the picture: "Every one of the children born to the couple is still living either at home or within a few miles of his birthplace. birth-place. According to the father, 'all 21 are alive and there is not a bad leg or a crooked eye in the whole bunch! All are healthy and sound.' This is believed a record for a family living on the American Amer-ican continent." Those Who Do. So much for "those who are." Now for some typical examples of "those who do." There was Mrs. Edna Mae Potter of Los Angeles who consumed 45 pounds of roasted chicken and dressing and defeated four men for the title of "chicken-eating champion." cham-pion." Her technique, illustrated with a photograph, was described as the "two-handed harmonica style." Then there was Miss Reva Whitcomb who "was declared champion pastry cook of New York state in competition at Rochester recently." But "those who don't" are even more interesting than "those who do," especially if they don't obey all of the multitude of laws which have been passed to regulate hu-human hu-human behavior. NRA "Martyrs." You recall the days of the NRA code and the Blue Eagle? So, of course, you remember the names of those poultry dealers in Brooklyn who defied the NRA, carried their case to the Supreme court and not only won it but also won fame throughout the country. (If you don't, they were the Schecter Brothers). Then there was that battery' dealer in York, Pa., who not only defied the NRA but went to jail for 18 days, was fined $1,500 and was hailed from one end of the country to the other as the "prime symbol of the little man op pressed by NRA." (Yes sir, his name was Fred C. Perkins.) But you don't have to go to jail to win fame and get your picture in the papers. One good way if you're a girl is to be elected "queen." So in recent months we've gazed upon the pictures pic-tures of Doris Harrison of Bartow, Bar-tow, Fla., who was "Orange Queen" at the Florida orange festival in Winter Haven; Kalita Humphreys of Galveston, Texas, "Queen of the Oleander Festival" in that city; Ellen Harkonen of Pelkie, Mich., who was "Michigan's "Michi-gan's Potato Queen" and Muriel Wolfson who was the "Egg Queen" at the egg festival held at Lakewood, N. J. The throne of this "Egg Queen," you remember, was a bathtub in which she reposed, "her only 'blanket' being several dozen eggs." As a matter of fact, you don't have to be a girl to be chosen a "queen" for the caption over the picture of a smiling baseball player play-er in the newspapers not so long ago was "Chosen Beauty Queen" and the story said: "Mitzie , . . - i. - v N . ? : I j. "on vA : MARK M. SANDERSON of East Ellsworth, Wis., putting the finishing touches on the tombstone tomb-stone he built for himself. Greene, varsity baseball player with hair on his chest and freckles on his hands, was elected Beauty Queen of Miami university at Oxford, Ox-ford, Ohio, by students who turned down 25 girl candidates. Greene promptly announced his 'abdication' and declared his picture pic-ture would go into the college yearbook section reserved for the beautiful girls of the campus 'over his dead body.' " Well! Here we are nearly at the end of this article and yes, I know I haven't mentioned a lot of "famous" people that Missouri Mis-souri state legislator who staged a one-man sit-down strike in the house of representatives, that young man in the same state who staged a "lover's sit-down strike" by chaining himself to a radiator in the home of his girl friend, that fellow "from Kansas who showed his interest in promoting pro-moting peace by making sudden dramatic appearances at conventions conven-tions of one sort or another and by showering people with feathers feath-ers from the bag which he carried car-ried while he shouted his slogan, "Feathers instead of bullets!" But it isn't really necessary to mention them for, of course, you remember their names. Anyway, Any-way, the purpose of this article was to show you how easy it is to become famous by citing examples ex-amples of the various ways in which people have. But better not count too much on that fame enduring. If you do, you're going to be disappointed. Ask the girl who first swam the English channel, that "honest "hon-est sandwich man" who found $42,000 in securities in Wall street, the "Man Who Carried the Message to Garcia" O, just ask anyone who has ever "hit the headlines." Western Newspaper Union. |