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Show If one Is Incompetent, can he learn competency? All that glitters can't be measured by the golden rule. Moral lectures do not alter the practice prac-tice of profiteering. Why aren't stenographers' notes figures of speech? Avoid extremes a man can go crazy even on religion. Literally Speaking. "Does a bootlegger actually carry liquor In his boot?" "I dunno," answered Uncle Bill Bot-tletop. Bot-tletop. "Though I must admit that Borne of the 6tuff does taste that way." j Good-By Five Bucks. ' Jones I Just lent that buddle of yours $5. Do you think he's straight? Jones Straight ! Say, if that bird Swallowed a ten-penny nail he'd cough up a corkscrew. ' Well Directed. Alice Gladys Is suing her husband for divorce. Virginia Well, who else could she sue? There Is nothing slow about some fellows until you want them to pay back a loan. The greatest tattle tale In the world Is a woman's age when It once begins to tell on her. Why does the mother of a homely baby always say It resembles her husband's relntlons? Some people talk best when they are going through the motions of reading a newspaper. The more bad habits a man has the more he seems to enjoy life's good things. There Is always room for one more oyster In the soup. |