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Show What Stumped Him. Many instances have been quoted of the ingenuity of the schoolboy and the college man in answering examination exam-ination questions In foreign languages, but seldom has a hard-pressed undergraduate under-graduate displayed the inventive gen. ius shown by Henry W. Savage when his knowledge of French was put to the test in a Parisian cafe some years ago. According to George Ade, who-was who-was with him at the time, Savage, prides himself on his French. He had: just succeeded by dint of the most Intense In-tense sort of concentration in ordering;, those copper-colored oysters known to the habitues of Paris as being among the oldest Inhabitants. Then, flushed with victory, he rashly decided to fo-low fo-low up his success by ordering some; horse-radish. The French word for "horBe-radlsh" had completely escaped, his memory. Nothing daunted, he became be-came at once logical and ingenious. "Horse is cheval," said he to Ade "and red is rouge all right, but I'm damned if I can remember the French r word for 'ish.' " Consolation. An officer now back on the firing line in Flanders writes to say that not long ago he managed to get a short furlough to visit his family. Natural; ly there was much rejoicing in the house. But the parlor maid had been expecting her sweet)ieart jack from the trenches about the Same time, ah at the last minute a letter came explaining ex-plaining that leave could not b got. The girl went about the place looking look-ing so woebegone that the sight of her was too much for the officer's six-year-old daughter. Suddenly the child rushed up to her father where he sat. snugly beside the fire. "Daddy," she cried, "Maggie's--sweetheart hasn't come. Please giv her a kiss so that at least she Till have something." Two Sorts. One man burns his nouse for ths Insurance. In-surance. Another applies tSie torch to his home because he has been promised prom-ised a nice long visit from the following fol-lowing relatives, tc-wit: His Becond' : cousin, Mrs. Oliver Stallings-Sponge-ways, who possesses more doubls chins than the laws of physical prosody pros-ody prescribe; her five children, all of whom have musical, elocutionary or histrionic talent, except the third one, who steals everything he can lay his hands on; and her old maid sister, who has been uurrying to tn grave for 36 years from a mysterious malady, which makes' it necessary for aii her whims to be catered to promptly prompt-ly or she will have one of Jier spells and probably burst something Kan- ; fas City Star. Curious Old Watch. An old French watch, square 1 (hape, which is so arranged that ev-. ev-. ery step of the owner helps to keep Lite spring tightened, is the property af a man living in San Diego, Cal. This watch is described in the World's Advance, as the only watch in the world that winds itself. It keepa per-i per-i fectly accurate time, and has worn j out several good cases in its day. A key is provided for the watch, to be used when the owner is ill or unable-" unable-" to walk about. ; A Hint from the Doc. ' Victim. I fell and knocked my head 1 Upen. Doctor. A fine time to put some-tiring some-tiring in it of value. I Calming Her Fears. a Excited Lady Why don't you Inter-' Inter-' lere to stop that dog fight. Bystander I was just a-goin' t-y t-y hum; but you kin calm y'r fears now. My dog Is on top at last, mum. Buf- lalo Courier. 0 Unusual. e "What caused the trouble in the 8 Van Jones family? I SCe by the pa II per they've separated." e "Yes. Rather a curious caBe that. He was a suffragette) and she was an. antl." |
