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Show A Long t-lte. Sir Walter Scott, while traveling in Ireland, was one day accosted by a beggar He felt i;i his pocket for sixpence but, finding that he had nothing smaller than a shilling with him, gave it to the woman with the -words: "You must give me the change next time we meet." "I will, sorr," replied the beggar, "and may yer honor live till ye get it." Los Angeles Times. . Father and Son. A club man who poses as a .humorist .humor-ist was having his shoes shined at a railway station. "And is your father a bootblack, too?" he asked the hoy at his feet. "No," said the .bootblack. "My father is a farmer up the state." "Ah," said the humorist, as be-reached be-reached for his notebook to make an, entry, "he believes in making hay while the son shines." New York. Times. His Managers. "Can I return this necktie if its. style, color and cost do not meet with, the approval of the board of directors?" direct-ors?" asked the little man of the clerk, at the haberdashery counter. "I suppose so, biit tell me, please, who are the board of directors?" "My wife and daughters. I might also add that they are the auditing " bureau and the committee on style.'' Safety First. "I'm sorry, sir, ibut I'll have to ask you to pay in advance if I serve you fish." "Why, what do you mean? I'll report re-port you to the manager." "Can't help it, sir. The last man I served fish to got a bone in his throat and had to go to the hospital, and the boss took the check he didn't pay out of my wages." Disappointing. "They tell me Jack's trip abroad was disappointing to him." "Yes, it was. He had a fine time until he got to Greece." ."Didn't he like Greece?" "Oh, he liked it well enough, but he couldn't find any one who has ever heard of any of the Greek letter societies socie-ties he belongs to." Early Indications. "What profession do you think your youngest boy will follow?" "Well," replied Farmer Corntossel, "judging from the way he likes to play in Uie dirt, I think maybe he'll be one o' these land grabbers you read so much about." Washington Star. Sufficiently Hungry. Little Willie's mother sent him to bed without any supper. At 8 o'clock, as Willie lay disma'.ly In his little bed in the dark, his father appeared at the door and whispered: "Son, could you eat some honey in the comb?" "Jiminy, dad!" Willie answered, "I could eat it in the brush!" The Ffckle Public. "I suppose your husband is quite popular hero around here," said a vis-(tor vis-(tor to the wife of a famous pitcher. "Jes," replied the s'.ab artist's wife, when he wins everybody slaps him on the back and calls hi,,, by his first V name, but when h loses the neighbors won't speak to either of us." Reasonable Deduction. ??g?rty 1,as quit profession. What do you think of that'" Fogarty qit? Yo must a(. fecte 1 by the heat. Why. he's on the bill this day. What got the idea into your Panama?" "Well, I SaW him coming out of business ma-s Iunch ))liK,e Results. Employer-I'li hire you on one con-onion. con-onion. You must go, results. ice br-say. l'U got them and the batteries and the hits and errors within half an hour after every game. Judge. Reversed. rie'd'r llng 1,ave they been mar- "About five years " "Did she make hi,u a good wlfe?" xxl husband." JudK0. |