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Show Chatter Box Denr Suzyr Tick Bliss has been done out of his rightful honors in dedicating the new swimming pool by being the first to dive in. He, as you remember, re-member, did a swan dive into the old swimming pool hole back of the big hall at the lime of the boxing box-ing matches and bathing girl revue. re-vue. His bid for fame and distinction distinc-tion was not very successful as he dived into the wrong pool and the hole did not contain water. So his efforts were wasted, and he was waiting for the new swimming pool to be built before playing an encore. en-core. Righfully he should have had the honor of being the first to dive into the new hole, but he was beat to the punch by Henry Hansen, much to Henry's discomfiture. Henry was working on the concrete con-crete pouring late the night the walls were put in, and did a "now you see me, now you don't" act which pracitically brought down the house. Last) seen Henry was standing on top of the forms doing his work, and when next seen he was picking himself up out of the pile of cobble rocks that had ben put inside the pool area, wiping blood from his face, and gazing at the world with only one lens of his glasses. His attempt to be the first into the pool met with disaster the same as Tick's, as both times, unfortunately, un-fortunately, neither pool was even damp. Thus both men have been disqualified for further participation participa-tion for top honors as they jumped the gun. While Henry was home with a beef steak plastered on one eye so as to take out the coming blackness, black-ness, he composed a little gem which should not be born to blush unseen. (I am getting my metaphors meta-phors all jumbled up here, as you hear a poem and don't see it. But on the other hand the gist of his epic is really to be seen, afterall.) To get back to the poem written by Mr. Hansen, it goes like this: Lives of contractors oft remind us, We can make ours more beautiful; And departing leave behind us, ' Face prints in the swimming pool. Mayor Black is so grateful to Henry for his literary achievement that he is going to have it inscribed inscrib-ed in bronze and put above the entrance to the swimming pool so that posterity will not be without inspiration. Homer Petersen will also be disqualified dis-qualified for further participation because in his attempt (shortly after Henry's) to dive into the pool, he mistook the direction and missed miss-ed the pool, landing on the outside. out-side. Homer was up on the forms directing di-recting the wheelbarrow pushers as to where to put the concrete, and while one wheelbarow was on the narrow catwalk, Homer disputed the right of way, and lost, which resulted in his going off the forms backwards and landing nine feet below. Mr. Petersen was in an unconscious un-conscious state for a short time, but nothing serious developed. And some meanies infer that he did it on purpose to get out of work. These three men should take up as their theme song, the little ditty dit-ty that is on the radio lately and goes something about she went swimming but didn't get her bathing bath-ing suit wet. Anyway, the walls of the swimming swim-ming pool were poured without too much bloodshed, and mayhem, assault as-sault and battery, and arson were kept at a minimum. Hotel and cafe owners are upset no end about the bombing range that maybe put in west of us, as they can see the end of any thru highways. But their fears are unfounded un-founded and they should look at the brighter side of the picture. From all reports, West Millard is going to have such bumper crops that the bank will have to enlarge its quarters to keep from bulging the walls with currency of large denominations. This condition will result in so many salemen visiting our district that they will be walking on each other's coat tails while chasing a prospect; and they will be sleeping six deep in the local hostelries, and forming long lines at the cafes. Just to prove to you the prosperity pros-perity of our region let's consider the people who own hot springs. When they asked someone to name it for them and win themselves $25, they only have received one name to date. This shows that in all of West Millard there is only one person per-son that doesn't have $25. You can see that I am a cinch to win, Toots. |