Show Kathleen en Norris Says i Time Heals All Wounds Belt BeU Syndicate Service L a S. S 1 9 M 13 i a Te Teds Ted's s mother came to stay with us UJ and ran me out We lived at an army post and I became intimate with an army officer who was leas a married man I was carried carried carried car car- ried away by his devotion to ro a lonely girl By NE of the hardest lessons lessons lessons les les- O ONE sons for an American woman to learn is to leave anything to time We Weare Weare Weare are an impatient people and whatever we do must be accomplished accomplished accomplished ac ac- ac- ac in a very fury of speed Hundreds of women womengo womengo womengo go to Reno for divorces every year only to plunge into fresh matrimonial experiments the moment they are free Decisions Decisions Decisions De De- De- De that should be made only after months or even years of planning and praying praying pray- pray ing they re gj few few- mo u ments Having failed conspicuously conspicuously conspicuously con con- in one attempt at wifehood they plunge into another another another an an- other sure that if happiness doesn't wait on one pathway it must on some other But happiness and character charac charac- ter and success in marriage are things of slow growth They are arc never ready made It takes months and sometimes years of patient effort to work out even the simplest domestic problem and in these days almost no marital problem problem lem is simple Threats of European conquest and invasion from sea or air have never given me a moments moment's concern But the destruction of that all important all thing thing American American marriage through marriage through the hasty and ill-considered ill action of husbands and wives who flock to divorce courts at the first sign of trouble is a real blow at the safety of the nation Divorce Is an Evil Divorce is not a solution it is an unmitigated evil and it ought to be used sparingly like the polson poisonous us drugs that help pain or the surgeons surgeon's surgeons surgeon's surgeons surgeon's sur sur- geons geon's knife that is employed only in the last emergency Unless this national failing is somewhat lessened we arc going to tobe tobe tobe be a nation without homes and a nation without homes is no nation at all It doesn't hurt children to grow up in the care of a mother who is silently enduring difficulties and In in- justices It hurts them irreparably to be told by their mother that Daddy is a bad man and by Daddy's Daddys Daddys Daddy's Daddys Daddy's Dad Dad- dys dy's mother that their own mother is so selfish and vain that poor Daddy Daddy Daddy Dad Dad- dy had bad to leave herIn her In the beginning the men and women who contemplate divorce always always always al al- al- al ways assert eagerly that there will not be this sort of criticism before the children But when those children children chil chU- dren missing their father shifted uncomfortably about trying to accustom accustom accustom ac ac- ac- ac custom themselves to a stepfather ask wistfully why t their clr own Daddy has gone away then Mother has to take a defensive attitude So she tells tens them how mean Daddy was WIS to he her wouldn't give her any money and liked another lady better than Mummy and twisted twisted twisted twist twist- ed her arm And when they tell their paternal grandmother this she can only counter count r majestically Well Wen Mummy doesn't always say what's true dear She was very unkind to poor Daddy caddy Dont Don't believe believe be be- lieve Hove everything Mummy says The army of the children of divorced divorced di dl parents that's parents that's the army we ought to fear What possible training train ing lag in self control consideration patience can they Derive derive from tho the ill disciplined man and woman they call eaU their parents And how find happiness against a background of changes recriminations charges charge and countercharges Here is a letter a woman t I i i who has made a series of hasty mistakes and who feels that to tomake tomake make a fresh series would be the way outI outI out I I am 28 writes rites Em Bee Em-Bee Bce from Indianapolis I 1 was married at 19 and have two sons seven and four That first marriage was a girls girl's mistake Ted seemed to me methe methe j the epitome of everything that was wonderful but I was too much of ofa ofa I Ia a kid really to judge a man as a husband We were miserable from the start quarreling making it up quarreling again One of my babies was delicate and th the other unmanageable unmanageable unmanageable unman unman- and we had very little money Teds mother came to stay with us and ran things generally She Sheran Sheran ran them so well that she ran me out and I went home to my stepmother step mother as I cannot stand the man my own mother married after di divorcing divorcing di di- my father We lived at an army post and I became intimate with an officer who was a married man I dont don't excuse this but I was carried away by his devotion to a lonely bewildered girl of 24 This gave Ted an excuse to ask for complete complete complete com com- guardianship of the thc boys which was granted him Floyds Floyd's wife divorced him and we were married Ted died last December and his mother has my boys They come to see me now and then but we are strangers My husband does not understand how a mother feels about her children We have been married three years and arid as yet I have no hope of another child Teds Ted's mother who Is well wen fixed says she is going to take the boys to another city and place them in school and Floyd feels that that is isa isa isa a good thing for them But they are mine mine mine and I will not have them carted about as If they had no mother Cant Can't Help elp HerOn HerOn Her erOn er On the other hand we have bave only Floyds Floyd's pay not sufficient for tor the many expenses connected with two growing boys I feel teel strongly that I have made many mistakes in hi handling my life lile and am anxious not to make any more What Wha t do you think of my present plan of going to Reno for n divorce asking an alimony that will permit me to learn a D profession that will support my children and suing my mother law for their custody Does that seem the best thing Em-Bee Em is not speaking honestly when she says this nor when she speaks of a mothers mother's feeling for her children Having broken up her own life and Floyds Floyd's and Teds Ted's and the childrens children's no advice will save her now from crashing ahead into further fur ther trier mistakes |