Show Kathleen Norris Says I Time Tinte Heals All Wounds Dell Syndicate Service W l k tr 94 t J b 8 tChi i i iL it t Lk L k r Teds Ted's mother came to stay with us and ran me out We lived at an army post and I 1 became intimate with an army officer w who o was a married man 1 I was carried carried car car- ried away by his hiJ devotion to a lonely girl By KATHLEEN NORRIS NE of the hardest lessons lessons lessons les les- O ONE sons for an American woman to learn is to leave anything to time We Weare Weare Weare are an impatient people and whatever we do must be accomplished accomplished accomplished ac ac- ac- ac in a very fury of speed Hundreds of women womengo womengo womengo go to Reno for divorces every year only to plunge into fresh matrimonial experiments the moment they are free Decisions Decisions Decisions De De- De- De that should be made only after months or even years of planning and praying praying praying pray pray- ing they reach in a few mo mo- ments Having failed conspicuously conspicuously conspicuously con con- in one attempt at wifehood they plunge into another another another an an- other sure that if happiness doesn't wait on one pathway it must on some other But happiness and character charac charac- ter and success in marriage are things of slow growth They are never ready readymade It takes months and sometimes years of patient effort to work out even the simplest domestic problem and in these days almost no marital problem lem Is simple Threats of European conquest and invasion from sea or air have never given me a moments moment's concern But the destruction of that important all thing thing American American marriage through marriage through the hasty and ill considered action of husbands and wives who flock to divorce courts at the first sign of trouble is js a real blow at the safety of the nation Divorce Is an Evil Divorce is not a solution it Is an unmitigated evil and it ought to be used sparingly like the poisonous drugs that help pain or the surgeons surgeons surgeon's surgeons surgeon's sur sur- geons geon's knife that is employed only in the last emergency Unless this national failing Is somewhat lessened we are going to tobe tobe tobe be a n nation without homes and a nation without homes is no nation at all It doesn't hurt children to grow up in the care of a mother who is silently enduring difficulties and in in- justices It hurts them irreparably to be told by their mother that Daddy is a bad man and by Daddys Daddy's Daddys Daddys Daddy's Dad Dad- dys dy's mother that their own mother is so selfish and vain that poor Daddy Daddy Dad Dad- dy had to leave her In the beginning the men and women who contemplate divorce always always al al- al ways assert eagerly that there will not be this sort of criticism before the children But when those children children chil dren missing their father shifted uncomfortably about trying to accustom accustom ac ac- ac custom themselves to a stepfather ask wistfully why their own Daddy has gone away then Mother has to take a defensive attitude So she tells teUs them how mean Daddy was to her wouldn't give gi her any money and liked another lady better than Mummy and twisted twisted twist twist- ed her arm And when they tell their paternal grandmother this she can only counter majestically Well Mummy doesn't always say what's true dear She was very unkind to poor Daddy Dont Don't believe believe be be- lieve everything Mummy says The army of the children en of divorced di dl- parents parents that's that's the thc army we ought to fear What possible training training train train- ing In self control consideration patience can they derive from the ill disciplined man and woman they can call their parents And how find happiness against a background of ot changes recriminations charges and countercharges I Here is a letter from a woman I who has made a series of hasty mistakes and woo who feels that to tomake tomake tomake make a fresh series would be the way outI outI outI out I am 28 writes Em Bee Em-Bee Bce from Indianapolis I 1 was married at 19 and have two sons seven and fou four That first marriage wa was a girls girl's mistake Ted seemed to me methe methe methe the epitome of everything that was wonderful but I was too much of ofa a kid really to judge a man as a husband We were miserable from the start quarreling making it up quarreling again One of my babies was delicate and the other unmanageable unmanageable unman unman- and we had very little money Teds mother came to stay with us and ran things generally Sheran Sheran She Sheran ran them so well that she ran me out and I went home to my stepmother stepmother stepmother step step- mother as I cannot stand the man my own mother married after alter divorcing divorcing di die my father We lived at an army post and I became intimate with an officer who was a married I man I dont don't excuse this but I was i carried away by his devotion to a lonely bewildered girl of 24 This gave Ted an excuse to ask for complete complete complete com com- guardianship of the boys which was granted him Floyds Floyd's wife divorced him and we were married Ted died last December and his mother has my boys They come to see me now and then but we are strangers My husband does not understand how a mother feels about her children We have been married three years and as yet I have no hope of another child Teds Ted's mother who is well fixed says she Is going to take the boys to another city and place them in school and Floyd feels that that is isa isa isa a good thing for them But they are mine mine mine and I wi will not have them carted about as ns i if they had no mother Cant Can't Help HerOn HerOn HerOn Her On the other hand we have only Floyds Floyd's pay not sufficient for the many many expenses e. connected wi with h two growing boys I feel strongly that I have made many mistakes in handling my life and am anxious not to make any more What Wha t do you think of my present plan of going to Reno for a divorce asking an alimony that will permit me to learn a profession that will support my children and suing my mother law for their custody Does Docs that seem the best thing Bee Em-Bee Is not speaking honestly when she he be says this nor when she speaks of a mothers mother's feeling for tor her children Having broken up her own life and Floyds Floyd's and Teds Ted's and the childrens children's no advice will save her now from crashing ahead Into inti further fur fur- ther mistakes |