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Show KATHLEEN NORRIS Excess Social Drinking Hurts ' WHY DO men do it? Why do so many men drink too much? Not the vulgar, violent, lying-in-the-gut-ter drinking, but enough to make the women they love unhappy, and destroy their children's confidence and respect. Phil and Martha Anderson have three young daughters, a lovely home, a fine position in the community, commu-nity, and Phil is junior member of a successful law partnership. Both Phil and Martha have war records of useful service here and overseas; over-seas; in short, the Andersons are typical of America's finest stock. They have everything membership in a pleasant, unpretentious country coun-try club, a car, a garden, a summer sum-mer camp, friends, amusements and the three sparkling little daughters. "But every time we go to a party," says Martha's letter, "Phil drinks himself silly and noisy and assertive, and embarrasses me so terribly that I have begun actually to dread social occasions. To him, as the cocktails go on and on, this seems very funny. He thinks he is a great story-teller and insists on monopolizing the center of the stage. Anything I say to him, to try to quiet him down, he shouts out loud, making it part of the fun. Wife Can't Reach Him "I love my husband. I am 37, he is four years older. We have had an unusually happy married life. But I can't reach him on this. When we leave the evening party, whatever what-ever it is, he asks me to drive home, and goes to sleep against my shoulder. I put the car away and go upstairs to find him stumbling stumb-ling his way slowly to bed. There is no use talking to him then, for gotten, and hilariously ignore the hints of the shamed and- anxious women. Conversation becomes indeed in-deed a lost art, and the friendly fireside a spot from which some of the guests are anxious to escape. Unfortunately, there is no cure for this except in Phil's mind and will. He could end it once and for all by strict limiting of his drinking, drink-ing, or by choosing some less potent form of refreshment. But until in all humility he sees the situation, sees what he is doing to his wife, his children and his entire social circle, there is no hope. Outside pressure will not affect these convivial con-vivial gentlemen, for the second cocktail robs them of reasoning power, and everything goes into a golden haze. Especially trying to the wife, and again delaying any prospect of reform, re-form, is the fact that the men and women all about Phil are not at all unwilling that he shall make a fool of himself. The host considers it a duty to urge more drink upon everyone, even against the protecting hands and the voices that say "Oh, please, no. No more!" And also distressing Is Phil's confident con-fident assertion that he only drinks for the social fun of it and could stop tomorrow. I have known hundreds of men who made their womenkind unhappy un-happy for years with their evening potations, yet who really could stop short, and did so when their health was in question. Many, of course, find then that it is too late, and all the physical ills they have been piling up with over-indulgence sud denly land on them. Then Martha must assume the part of patient and sympathetic nurse, and a glance about the elderly persons of your acquaintance will show you how often and how generously she does. . . . he shouts it out loud . . . he simply doesn't hear. When he comes downstairs for breakfast, fresh and cheerful, it is ungracious to start in with reproaches. "However, I have tried that, and tried quiet talks with him when we are alone, at other times. He is irritated by my reproof, says he thought we had a mightly good time the previous night and wishes I wouldn't begin to moralize every time he takes a drink too much. If he embarrassed me, he's sorry, and that's that. "This problem," the letter ends, "isn't mine alone. Many of my friends have the same reason to dread that mood when everything seems salubrious and nothing is too silly, or even too vulgar, to say. This is no case for Alcoholics Anonymous; Phil would laugh at the idea that a man who holds his own with such dignity in the business busi-ness world, and is so trusted, should be humiliated and made ridiculous. But what is the cure, and what can I do?" Common Problem In answer, I must observe that you say a very true thing, Martha, when you say the problem is a common one. At every night club and restaurant and in many, many homes, one sees this wretched situation. situ-ation. Men don't knock their wives down or go out to lie in gutters, gut-ters, but they hurt them just as deeply as if they did. All the social pleasantness of a carefully planned, otherwise perfect per-fect dinner can be spoiled when host or guests begin tD get foolish, make personal remarks, quote stories whose point is entirely for- |