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Show and been accepted. It was after one of those long silent periods which are always more elequent than words, that the following dialogue ensued: Romeo Darling I have a great favor to ask which I fear will offend you. Juliet Dearest you should not fear to ask, as you should know that anything any-thing I can do for your sake, no matter mat-ter how great the sacrifice, would- be a pleasure to me. Romeo Won't you please set on the other knee, that one has gat tie rheu- "" matix. With apologies to Chips and Shavings, Shav-ings, did it ever occur to you that when a woman is disappointed she wants the world to think she is a Vampire, and when a man is disappointed dis-appointed he wants the world to think she is a"db m vbg cvmf cmfm think she is a "Vamp." , i One of the junior politicians of the camp has suggested the following ticket for the coming town of "New Bingham :". Mayor, K, E. Bogart; town clerk, Michael Boccalero; trustees Joe Berger, John Culleton, Henry Od-die, Od-die, Alfred Anderson; chief of police, R. I. Ferrell; extra police force, Hugh Grant, Mark James, Cream Puff Mc-Mahon; Mc-Mahon; health officer, nr. Hyrnm G. : Mitchell; watermastor, Harry Golds-worthy; Golds-worthy; attorney, Ralph Jordan,, esq; garbage man, Hcnr;T Green. Wise and Otherwise The flies are getting thicker in Bingham every day and the ordinary swatters are of but little use because they breed so fast that there are always al-ways new ones to take the place of those caught by the swatter. The boys say that jacx Dean went to Fish Lake to deliver the 24th of July oration and to explain to the fellows fel-lows about trench warfare and the var-iouskind3 var-iouskind3 of shells, the machine guns, and various features about the war Including geography. One of the fellows here is so well pleased with the toast of an Arkansas Arkan-sas man that he thinks it ought to appear in the Wise and Otherwise column. It reads as follows: "Mr. Toastmaster: Ladies and gentlemen gen-tlemen you have asked me to respond to the toast, ''Water" the purest and best of all the things that God created. I want to say to you that I have seen it glisten in tiny tear drops on the sleeping lids of infancy; I have seen It trinkle down the blushing lids of youth, and go in rushing torrents down the Wrinkled cheeks of age. Have seen it in .tiny dew drops on blades like polished diamonds when the morn ing sun burst in resplendent glory over the eastern hills. I have seen it in the rushing river rippling over pebbly peb-bly bottoms; roaring over, precipitious falls in its mad rush to join the mighty father of waters. And I have seen it in the, mighty . ocean on whose broad bosom float the battle fleets of the world, but ladies and gentlemen, I want to say to you now, that, as a beverage, it is a damn failure. A. federal employee, whose wife is on the west coast, is now living all to himself in a big house and he says it is mighty lonesome there now without with-out any women folks to cheer him. The wife is not expected home for about two weeks. One of the boys received a message from his girl in New York City this week. The following item Is v contributed to the .Wise and Otherwise by a citizen: citi-zen: ' That a well known "reformer" who has been willing to assume the respon-' sibility of correcting the morals of the 'Bthgham citizens, is now quite busy trying to explain the difference in value val-ue between a thirty pound porker ffid two tons of coal. A certain gentleman while in a certain cer-tain confectionery sometimes cannot take a joke and tries to blame it on the girl by putting a piece in the Wise and Otherwise about her, but it always turns out to be an absolute failure. Who Is the young gentleman who takes one girl home one night and a different one the next and also has one or two down at Midvale. A young man who is soon to return from California will hear some very pleasant news shortly after his arrival. ar-rival. One of the boys who spent the latter lat-ter part of the week at Salt Lake and nearby resorts Is .wondering If someone some-one could not invent an unbreabakle straw hat ' It is said that the "hired help" were in Salt Lake some days ago looking over some marriage , certificate blanks. : One of the Federal employes is all smiles these days and the reason as signed is- that her ship has come in bearing a soldier from France. One of) the Bingham ball players had a thrilling experience while taking tak-ing a dive at Saratoga Pioneer day. Romeo had Just proposed to Juliet |
