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Show Capital. I have alvvajs favored capital, but must say It scarcely ever favored me. Capital Is a good thing to have. I much picfer It to labor. Labor Is so vulgar, while capital Is lcllned. There Is nothing you can't do with capital. With capital you can nominate nomi-nate you rsclf to any political otllcc, and If your opponent Is better suited for the place, Is more popular; spend a few dollais and you will over-come those ditllcullics. About the quickest way to get rich Is to have some one bequeath) on a fortune, for-tune, or to 10b a bank, or mint. If you aio born poor, never expect to get rich, although I have known men to acquire much money by selling patent medicines and giving free street conceits. con-ceits. About tho easiest way to got rid of capital Is to give It to the Orphans Home, or squander $10,000 for the education edu-cation of a 10 cents son. Put if j ou want to get llil of It complety and quickly; cover the bonds of an Assessor Asses-sor and Collector. 1 myself was made poor by lending all 1 had to a friend until next week. The friend left town and J am now peddling bed bug powder. You will find capital very convenient conven-ient when you are brought before the Judge, and ho politely asks you for live. It can also be used when tho rent Is due, and you are out of How, and the coal Is gone. Capital Is the God of almost every living creature, and I suppose they will, after death, look to It for their lcward. SCIUUIILKU. |