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Show THE AUTOMOBILE BUG James Montgomery Flagg writes nn amusing piece In the January American Mngazlno nbout buying nn automobile. Following Is nn oxtract: "From tho moment you are bitten by the great Klaxon horned Gasolene Gaso-lene bug tho motor car takes precc-donco precc-donco of everything olso homo tleB, duty, tho hopo of n. future life, all nro forgotten for tho time being. "Your library table Is littered with specifications, booklets nnd photos of every kind of enr; so is your desk. Your overcoat pockctB bulgo with them. You spend hours which ought ito bo spent at your desk, standing around on the glassy floors of tho I motor harems nmongst tho potted palms listening tc the sirens softly soft-ly honking of their wares. "You oven come sneaking back nt night, when tho shops aro closed, and gazo hypnotized through tho Pittsburgh Pitts-burgh panes at tho enr of your dream then back ogaln after breakfnst with tho fanatical enthusiasm of tho Wag-nerlto Wag-nerlto at Bayrcuth. "While Polly Is trying tho scats of tho smart town car up near tho window, win-dow, ono of tho Benzlno Brummcls Is telling you something beginning with 'I guess you've heard this ono. Stop mo if you havo '" "This Is dono to rest your brain from exertion of trying to understand why tho tnll light Is not attached to tho radiator fan. "Othcrwlso those cataracts of 'differentials,' 'dif-ferentials,' 'multiplo disk' 'conu clutches,' clut-ches,' 'timing gonrs' and splash systems,' sys-tems,' would rock your mentality and perhaps make It turn turtlo and sink at tho dock! "They speak kindly of other cai, and tell you In what essentials they aro lacking, not knocking, mind you, or only n llttlo In ono cylinder! "Thoy pass debonairly over tho stupid stu-pid and minor considerations of construction con-struction nnd leap, ns It wore, with a glad cry of homo coming to tho important im-portant points like, tho cigar lighters and tho initials on tho door panels. Thero Is whero they nro on safo ground and can become eloquent. "They bIiow you bcrnp books full of testimonial lotters from regular business men regular fellers who sit at desks and havo telephones and paper weights and ofllco boys nnd things letters written on bonafldo typewriters and thoy havo 'PIIG' down in tho cornors Just llko renl let tors. "Theso men write nnd toll them how crazy thoy aro about thoir now cars how thoy would rather ho wrecked In ono of their cars than rldu safely In any other mako. You can't holp being Impressed, "You put off telling them that you nro going to buy a second hand car as long as you can." |