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Show HAS NEVER FAILED BREAKFAST FOOD TEST FOR AN ENGLISHMAN. - Try This and Be Convinced That There's Nothing Better to Spring on a Briton, Masculine or Feminine. A young American woman who has recently married a Drltlsh husband was holding forth ono day to a group of friends on tho subject of Internv tlonat marriage. "I do lovo to read all tho bosh that s written In the papers about It," sbo said; "they paint dark pictures ot fho foreign vulture about to descend on the American dove, etc., etc., and discourse dis-course learnedly on tho causes of failure of most of these marriages, and It's really tho simplest thing In tlio world you'vo got to uso discernment, that's all. Thero aro various tests that can bo applied to men of different nations, but I'm convinced that there's nothing bettor to spring on a Briton, mascullno or fomlnlno, than tho breakfast-food test. 'I wasn't on to It when 1 married, and It was Algy's sister who unconsciously gave mo tho tip. Sho camo ovor to xnako us a vlslt.iind I own that I shook in my boots. She's older than Algy. you know, by a good deal, nnd I had a dosporato feeling that she disapproved disap-proved of everything American, particularly par-ticularly mysolf. Algy worked overtime over-time to persuado mo to the contrary, but I was used to our talky-talky women nnd qulto failed to grasp that her apparent aloofness might bo duo to nothing but shyness. "So when sho asked to be shown my kitchen I quaked. I bravely roso to tho occasion, howovcr, and led her thither. Sho frowned a bit at tho ice box and said a 'meat safe' would bo far less extravagant at this tlmo of year sho Bnlffed openly nt my gas range which she was certain was 'smelly' but her face was a picture when her eye fell on the cupboard shelf whoro tho breakfast foods livo. Sho first asked what they were, and I volubly explained tho different sorts from Band nnd BhningJ through pulverized pul-verized whlsk-brooms. "'Hut surely you don't eat them?" she Inquired. "'Surely wo do,' I returned valiantly, val-iantly, I "Sho gave a sort of grunt, then looked from the box sho was holding. " "Does Algernon eat them?' sho nskod In a how-have-themlghty-fallen boU ot tone. "'Ho cats oatmeal,' I explained nnd It was funny to sco how relloved sho I looked, for sho hnd been distressed to I death to see him dilnk coffee at break-I break-I fast In place of tho revered and tradi-I tradi-I tlonal tea, and I suppose sho feared I thnt ho was becoming fundamentally ( 'Amurrlcan.' Hut all sho said was: i " 'Aow, poirldgo?" "Then a suddon thought occurred to me I'd get her to taste one of thoso hreakfabt foods. Sho was holding a box of crispy sweet sort of things not unliku popcorn. "'Taste it. Amy.' I urged; 'it doesn't have to bo cooked, you know, nnd it's " rather fun to eat It right out of tho box.' "Sho looked darkly suspicious, then drew out n few flakes, holding them as If thoy wore slumbeilng hornets with a potential sting. Hut I 'sicked' her on, and eventually sho made tho leap. I waited anxiously, and the suspicious expression slowly left her face, making room for ono of rather pleased surprise. sur-prise. "'Not so nawsty," sho pronounced, nnd smiled at me, and from that moment mo-ment wo wero friends. "I've tried It on lots of English peo-plo peo-plo since, and later ovonts have never failed to confirm Its Infallibility, for the unprogrcsslve, unadaptablo mind betrays Itself every tlmo. So if you want to marry an Englishman, InvIU him to breakfast and try It," sho finished. |
