Show WHEN THE BUGLE SOUNDS FOR TOR VOLU VOLUNTEERS VOL VOL- U ALMOST everyone in school has a few few- pet schemes he will put into use in incase incase incase case he is called to war and has to go godown godown godown down and wipe Spain off the map We have not been able to interview all persons having useful ideas but the following will show the trend of University University University Uni Uni- philosophy on the subject P. P Kingsbury thinks Spain should be wiped off the map but he thinks the easiest way to do it is to use one of the the- maps in his office and confine the attempts attempts at at- tempts to get her off to the Chemical Laboratory He is inventing a compound compound compound com com- pound which he says will wipe Spain off the map in ten minutes P. P Toronto hasn't made any an special special special cial preparations but he says they will have to draft awful hard to pull him in into into into in- in to the war Miss M. M and Miss P. P are going down dow downto to nurse the sick and wounded Mr Johannsen and Mr Cannon are going to join the first army going to the front and get wounded the first week even if they have to shoot themselves P. P Stewart is at work on a patent knee protecting device to keep the knees from shaking out of their sockets University volunteers will find these of great value Marshall is in inventing ven tIng a bullet bullet- proof bullet proof shield to be worn on the back He will make enough to supply the Faculty P. P Matthews is contemplating an immediate immediate immediate imme imme- diate departure for France or some other neutral country He has all his belongings belongings belongings belong belong- ings packed so that he can depart on the morning of the call for volunteers P. P Talmage is learning Spanish in the hope of becoming warden of any prison in which he may be placed if captured He will form a society for the study of ancient fossils taking Spain as a type p. p Whiting hiting is glad war is coming He regards it as an invaluable opportunity ity to study anatomy and will take his dissecting dissecting dis dis- apparatus with him He hopes to meet a Spaniard as he desires to study the rarer forms of life P. P Merrill is inventing an electric drill to be worn on the bottom of the feet It H is arranged so as to commence working working working work work- ing whenever r a Spaniard gets within a radius of ten miles and will sink the wearer below the surface of the earth in one second It is for personal use PAllen P. P Allen will soon ha have ve a flying machine perfected which will fly above gun gunshot shot It is also for personal use P. P Lyman is growing night and day to get above the draft limit P. P Roylance is working for some public office offic exempt from field duty He will employ fourteen clerks to cut clippings on the progress of the war from the daily press He will be making history last fast I. I Reynolds will have his hair cut pompadour pompadour pompadour pom pom- so his friends will not be able to get Ret the laugh on him in the battle battle- field Hills is taking an fat anti-fat treatment He is in twice as much danger of getting getting get- get i ting shot as are his fellow warriors and he dont think it is fair I. I Bradford will join the cavalry as a horse will be of great value in case he e has to get out of a place in quick order No war correspondent has neglected to write verses on the war and as we thi think k we are as well acquainted with with the muse as of them any we have produced produced produced pro- pro the following l BATTLE HYMN OF THE UNIVERSITY All ye Frenchmen and ye Romans Remans t-i t Learn to ride another horse Not a pony but a thorough bred tt 1 That to battle you can force v For its Spaniards you'll be fighting f Which than Caesar Cresar are much worse When were we're at war with Spain J.- J. t 0 o ye brave and powerful 1 1 i You will be drafted all 7 f r So just throw throwaway away your basket f fAnd And instead l play cannon ball For you'll have to do some fighting And maybe in battle fall 1 When were we're at war with Spain i t tV Howll it look to see Miss Hewett In the of the war Standing brave and nd cool undaunted Her great troop of girls before Terrifying all the Spaniards 1 As did Joan d' d dArc d'Arc Arc of yore When were we're at war with Spain J r t. 1 Then you'll see Commander Cummings F i Laying down a tree 1 Calling out between his shivers shivers- shivers shivers- Charge those Spaniards that you see I And dont don't ever come retreating I Or they'll get a 8 shot at me l f When were we're at war Avar with Spain |