Show HAPPENINGS HOME HAPPENINGS tr r e Congratulations 1 Joe oe t o Our building looks looks better for its good g cleaning J The CHRONICLE gives a New Years Year's greeting to all Everybody seems to 1 have enjoyed t the h e h holidays 0 ld 1 ays Now for work as Our friend Little has been spreading f. f himself in composition H His s latest is isan w F an e elaborate 1 a b orate expos exposition on p Punching unc h. h mg the Bag is Better than Working a Washing Washing Wash Wash- ing Machine r Ii I. I Among the resolves that some of the ther r professors made at the beginning of the tit New Year there is one that is not yet r broken That is to give their classes a great deal of hard work to do The boys feel that they were slighted by Prof Whiting in his talk at the i K mass meeting but hut console themselves t with the thought that they did not need to be told to go in the house when it W r rains The following was found written in ink inkin in in n Mr I I IR's R R s s 's s book This book bookis is of great value to me but of none to F anyone else Please dont don't steal it If you must steal steal my brains I 1 can rv spare them as I have a good supply After a series series of meetings the Freshman Freshman Fresh Fresh- Fresh Fresh- I fi man Class has succeeded in adopting a aset av y v set of rules and electing its officers Those honored were Mr S. S L. L Richards I L. L president Miss E. E R. R Shipp vice pre t s' s and Mr B. B H. H 1 Jacobson acobson secretary secretary secretary secre secre- tary and treasurer Lookout for the class of 01 k 71 t The servant-girl servant problem is evidently fl a great one One of the professors who seems to have had much difficulty with F hired made the fr help proposition to one i i girl that if she would agree to stay six 1 IIi i ie 1 r.- r. tT r- r b. b it 11 l I months he would light the fire every morning let her use the parlor exclusively exclusively and kill off half of the family i iWas Was the man who shot at Prof Merrill Merrill Mer Mer- i rill a student wishing to get rid of him before the next examination Fiend Would you have shot him if you had had a gun J Prof Merrill proudly Most as as- Fiend aside If you could have hit him to Prof M But wouldn't the knowledge that you had killed a man bother you continually J Prof M. M No I have killed dogs i before The mice will play when the cats cat's away A letter addressed to Santa Claus Aurora Borealis A Avenue venue North Pole was delivered at the sanctum door by bythe bythe bythe the mail man It is very lengthy but the following abstract shows its tenor Now Mr Santa Claus I want a wife I dont don't care if she is a Mulatto Indian or Chinese r rAny Any old thing that's feminine gender will do but I must have some thing I Iam Iam Iam am having a stocking made to order for you to hang her in Christmas eve If fast freight is quicker than reindeer j jI I please send her that way but whatever 1 you do dont don't forget to send one Yours t J. J B. B Toronto oron t o. o A general meeting of the students was called on last Thursday by President Kingsbury for the of wishing j the students students students' a Happy New Year as well as welcoming them back to the University University University j sity and incidentally of talking about some other matters In the course of his remarks the President spoke particularly of the personal rights and that r ri should be observed by the students j toward one another in order that they might gain all the good possible in the i Mij 5 l P short time they are able to stay in the University Among other things he cautioned them not to loiter in the hallways hallways hallways hall hall- ways or to engage in any other such practices as would mar the reputation of the institution or hinder its best working working working work work- ing order Professor Whiting then spoke of the great danger incurred by some students in passing from one building to the theother theother theother other without first putting on an extra wrap of some kind Professor Cummings Cummings Cummings Cum- Cum urged the students to patronize the advertises advertise s in the CHRONICLE pointing pointing pointing point point- ing out the great benefit that would result from each one using a little care and forethought in this matter Professor Professor Professor Pro Pro- fessor Coray called attention Jn to the inexcusable inexcusable inexcusable inex inex- neglect on the part of students to make out directory cards He also referred to the abuse of the Library on the part of students as well as professors and admonished those present to use se their influence in maintaining the rights of all relative to the use of library books The Zeta Gamma is still alive and flourishing After a very successful reign of its previous officers the society experiments by putting in S. S L. L Richards president F. F Barker vice- vice president E. E A. A Morgan secretary and treasurer R. R Brim corresponding secretary secretary secretary se se- and J. J F. F Hoffman and P. P C. C Peterson members of the program comm com com- m i At the last the officers meeting meeting- gave their inaugural addresses dwelling chiefly upon the benefit of society work It is certainly a great he help p t to all and our young men cannot afford to lose l such an opportunity Come and join l at once l Among the foremost of our organizations organizations bans is IS the University Club It has made an excell excellent nt beginning and andas has as continued the good work by effecting effecting effect- effect ing mg a permanent organization The I F i. i J d. d r fi L fi cers are Mr Claude Lewis president Mr Walter Little manager with Professor Professor Professor Pro Pro- fessor M. M M. M Babcock director All are looking fo forward ward with pleasure to its next appearance I ThE elected as officers Miss Dottie Stay president Miss l Amanda Larson secretary assistant-secretary and treasurer It is doubtful whether a secretary was elected or if she was whether she was not immediately buried in a heap of thread and accumulated papers At any rate all efforts to find who where or what she was resulted in ina a cold dismal failure Prof M Merrill l had a rather exciting I experience during vacation and as a at result he is now tellin telling his friends how he happens to be alive A prophet has no honor in his own country so when the Christmas CHRONICLE CHRONI CHRONI- CLE predicted that Prof Merrill would spend his vacation saying long names R at the power-plant power machinery he just smiled and didn't even think of the 1 power plant Instead he stayed in this sinful old city and took Miss to f the CHRONICLE ball After spending a delightful evenin evening he and his departed homeward On reaching the paternal i abode they noticed a burglar that burglar that is a aman man standing in front of the house Of course the Professor could not leave Yr j now so together they went to th the narrowest narrowest narrow narrow- f fest est window in the house to watch the burglars burglars burglars burg burg- lars actions He soon entered the yard They watched him with bated breaths and fast-beating fast hearts They were in fact 1 to two two souls with but a single thought two hearts that beat as one and that a about bout a mile a minute He the burglar burglar burglar burg burg- H lar came up the steps He began to try his skeleton keys in the door The Prof jumped out ut of the window The robber jumped away from the door Th The hero hero excuse excuse me I mean the Professor Pro Pro- fessor fessor followed The villain I mean a athe the robber began shooting The Pro- Pro A t I i i y r t L- L Y tt t l 1 fessor began stopping He was not hit iI t. t by any of the bullets bullets- but one would not have judged so had he seen seenI I his quaking terrified form re-enter re the mansion manSIon Of course he must remain on guard the rest of the night and to pass the tt time away he wore out his hosts host's best brush vainly trying to make his hair lie fv down as it was wa'S once wont to do t Among the many New Years Year's resolutions resolutions reso reso- i lutins floating about we note the following following fol fol- r lowing Prof Prof Kingsbury I resolve to quit i f. f roasting negligent pupils as the they will get all the roasting they want in In the next world i Prof Marshall I resolve to quit criticising the CHRONICLE Its Christmas Christ Christ- mas edition was the best hest copy ever evert t published Prof Matthews II I I resolve never to tor r celebrate New Years Year's day again this year 0 Prof Cummings I res resolve lve to prohibit M bit all of my students who dont don't take J the CHRONICLE from passing in Latin r Prof Pro Whiting I resolve to study the habits of the every moment moy mo mo- f y ment that I am doing nothing else Prof Stewart I I resolve to eat my lunch every day this year Prof Merrill I resolve from this J time tIme henceforth and forever to cease II- II with burglars and to quietly f hold up my hands whenever requested f to do so f I. I s i Prof Toronto I I resolve to get marri married married mar mar- ri ried d as soon as I possibly can get a wife r. r Mr Reynolds I resolve never ever again rt u to play football even if I live to be a ar r thousand years old Prof Coray I resolve to go off and dye as soon as the rest of my hair departs to lands unknown Mr McGhie I I resolve to live to the end of my life if Heaven permits it I I Mr Hadley I I resolve to quit teaching teaching teaching teach teach- ing chemistry and buy a Klondyke gold goldmine goldmine goldmine mine as soon as I get money enough Mr Bond I I resolve to grow days ol older er during this year x |