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Show WANTS LICENSE TO SM HORSES Novel Advertisement That Appeared Ap-peared in Northern Pennsylvania Penn-sylvania Newspaper. APPLICANT PROMISES A RESPECTABLE BUSINESS. A Temperance Sermon That Is Well Worth Reading and Considering Con-sidering Seriously. A Coudorsport, Pa., dispatch to the Philadelphia North-American says: Tho current issue of tho Coudorsport Coudor-sport Entorpriso had the most novel paid advertisment ever seen in northern north-ern Pennsylvania. It was. three col-umns col-umns wide and 12 inches long and set forth the followingl APPLICATION FOR LICENSE. No. 87, March Term. 1014. "In Re Petition of G. I. Lovegold for License to Steal Horse. "Hon. John Fairmind, judge of court of quarter sessions of Almos-tany Almos-tany county, stato of Pennsylvania: "I hereby make application for a special license to steal horses. I am willing to pay liberally for the privilege. privi-lege. I am emboldened to make this application by reason of other special privileges petitioned for about this timo of the year by other citizens of 'good moral character,' The business for which they ara asking license produced pro-duced at least three-fourths of all the crime committed In the county the UBt year. It has filled our bourough lockupi and the county 'jail. It has made our criminal court 'the hybsV ex- cense-1 deeiri less fnjarlouijtb the munity than the ' business of selling (mf Avlaf Inc lfminA jklffiaf at tvflnln. sale or retail. ,i "1, 1 pledge myself not to take away the senses of any man nor rob his purse. "2. I obligate myself not to cause men to beat their wives, damn their children into tho world, commit mur-dor mur-dor or raise hell in the community. I only want to steal their horsos. "3. And If man has a soul, which most men consent to, I promise to do nothing to destroy this germ of immortality, im-mortality, but leave it to its own moral course I only want to steal horses. 4. I, furthermore, solemnly promise prom-ise that if tho license is granted I will not steal horsca on Sunday, nor on election day, nor on legal holidays, nor after 10 o'oclock at night. I also solemnly promise not to steal colts, nor horsos that have no sense, or old broken-down plugs. "5. Your honor will see the license I pray for will result in less harm to the community than a license to sell intoxicating liqUor. Of course, I may damage the property of a few well-to-do people, but their bodies, their minds, their reputations and character, I am above impairing. I only want to steal their horses. "6. I would further enforce my application ap-plication by reminding the court that 'you can't run the county without the license fee; that 'if I don't steal horBC8, somebody else will; that 'all attempts to prohibit horso stealing only result in producing sneaks and liars;' that 'I am a liberal contributor to the political jackpot,' and that 'I control moro votes than most of the other applicants for license.' "I also call the attention of your judicial mind to the number and (especially) (es-pecially) character of those subscrib- Ing to my potltion. "Trusting you will grant my petition, peti-tion, and this I shall ever pray, etc.,. "G. I. LOVEGOLD. "Bondsmen, Wlnaland Syne & Deth Trust company. Attorney, Firm of N. O. Scruples & Mooro Longgreen. "We, the undersigned certify to the good moral character of the applicant, G. I. Lovegold, and beliovo him to be a man fit to be Intrusted with a license to steal horses, and pray tho court to grant the license :" Eaton B. Merry Kant Evan Wright O. Grab Box Michael Chirlllovani Crewo L. Younghusband Jostwon Glass Tony Dudlnsky (X his mark) A. Ward Healer Nick Sjmklvlnko-praz Sjmklvlnko-praz (X his mark) Barr T. Ender Reynolds Toper Wurse N. Useless Wood B. Chrystlun Al Ways Treatin A. Boozer. 1 |