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Show IN A MINOR KEY. j When Collis P. Huntington was mor-ried mor-ried for the second time. Henry Ward Beeeher performed the marriage ceremony. cere-mony. Huntington's first wife had been ciead less than one vear, and he disired the second marriage to be kept secret until his return from Europe. He gave -u B??cher a marriage fee of $1.5X). vv hen Huntington returned, some months later, he went through a public ceremony and Beeeher again officiated. He gave Beeeher another fee of $1,500. The great preacher had his humor aroused by this second fee. Turning to Huntington, he said: "Collis. I do wish you were a Mormon."' Argonaut. 3 NOT A STATUE YET. The other afternoon, when President Roosevelt reached DuDont Circle, a "seeing "see-ing Washington" electric car hove in sight, and the guide continued his . lecture lec-ture through a megaphone in this way: "On the left we see the elegant residence of Mr. George Westinghouse, the million-nlr million-nlr inventor and electrician, formerly the home of the late James G. Blaine: a little to the left of front we perceive the palatial mansion of Mr. I. Z. Leiter, the Chicago millionaire, and father of the famous beauty. Miss Mary Leiter, now Lady Curzon. the wife of the governor general of -India: in the park in front we are confronted bv the statue of Admiral Ad-miral Dupont, and also in front we see the president of the Vnited States on The crowd looked, and one woman sala, "vhose statue is it. McKlnley's?" "It's Roosevelt," the guide resoonded. "He ain't a statue vet." New York Tribune. Trib-une. horseback." WHAT IT LACKED. Visitor (at artist's studio) Yes. it's rather a striking picture, but it seems to lack local color. Artist Local color? Why. man, it's a painting of a rainbow. Visitor That's why I say it wants local lo-cal color. It's not like anv rainbow I've ever seen in this neighborhood." VIEWED IT SCIENTIFICALLY. "Wasn't it a terrifying experience." asked his friend, "when you lost your foothold and went sliding down the mountain moun-tain side?" "It was exciting, but extremely interesting." inter-esting." said the college professor "I could not helD noticing, all the way down, with what absolute accuracy I was following fol-lowing along the line of least resistaice." CONTRARY TO HIS EXPERIENCE. ' "This Isn't much of a snake," complained com-plained the man who had paid 10 cents to see the sideshow. "The serpent you exhibit on the canvas .outside is as bl" as a barrel and a dozen times as long as this one." "What Tlid you expect to get for a dime?" retorted the showman. "Big snake cost a heai." "That Isn't my experience," rejoined the other. "The cheaoer the whisky the bigger the snake." OF COURSE. Copy Reader "Here's a dispatch about a 33-year-old grandmother. What sort of a head shall I out over it?" Night Editor" 'Kansas Heard From Again.' " THE r"eST CURE. "Gone over to the Seventh Day Advent- tatr'1"'6 yu? What is your reason for "Well, it gives me two Sabbaths in the week, and you can't have too much of - good thing.' . a UNCLE ALLEN. ' "They say." moralized S.'nele Allen Sparks, "that the Lord must love the common people, because he makes a many of them, and I suppose it's true hut 1 d.E belter -that's the rincle on which he makes sojmany mosquitoes." |