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Show THAT REMINDS ME- j I -luu j-i-n-r-n- L j-u-.n.-Lru-Ln.nju-u-.njinj-u L. -.- - ltu j The New York Times revives an old story about the late Senator Carpenter Carpen-ter of Wisconsin: "It is told of the late Senator Matt Carpenter that one day while chatting with friends in a committee room, the conversation turned on the relative merits of religious sects. Nearly every member of the party belonged to some church, and there had been an animated ani-mated discussion, Senator Carpenter pacing up and down, listening intently in-tently enough, but saying not a word. " 'What church do you belong to, Carpenter?' asked one. " 'I don't belong to any.' " 'Why don't you join one?' " 'I don't want to. None exactly suits my views.' V 'What one would you join if you were to feel forced to a choice?' " 'The Catholic, by all means. " 'And whv the Catholic?' " 'Because they have a purgatory, and that's a motion for a new trial.' " In a minor way an anecdote in Short Stories shows Bismarck's ability to shape his own ends. It is customary in the cheaper classes of German inns to substitute chicory for coffee. Bismarck Bis-marck was aware of this, so one day when he came to a small inn after a long journey, he sat down and called the inn keeper to him. "Have you any chicory?" said he. "Yes, sir," replied the inn keeper. "Well, bring all you have here to me!" ordered Bismarck.. The inn keeper was gone a few minutes min-utes and 'returned with an immense armful of chicory. "Is this all the chicory you have in the house?" asked Bismarck. "Yes all." "Well, then," said Bismarck, "leave this chicory here and make me a cup of coffee." The man at the desk looked up. A small boy stood In the doorway. "Are yclt the. man that answers the questions in the newspaper?" asked the boy. - . "Yes. What can I do for you?" "Why, it's this way. I found a pocketbook the other day. It had 30 cents in it. I took it to the newspaper news-paper office to advertise it, 'cause I thought that was the honest thing, and they told me it would cost 30 cents. Now if I take the money out of the pocietbook to pay for the advertising ad-vertising there- won't be any left for the man that owns it, and I don't think it's my place to advertise it and pay for it myself. Do you?" "Is the pocketbook Itself worth anything?" any-thing?" "It's no good on earth. Look at it." "I see it isn't," said the man at the desk. "What's bothering you, my son, is that you want to know whether it would be right, under the circumstances, circum-stances, for you to keep the pocket-book pocket-book and the money. 13 that it?" "Well, I want to do the square thing." "I see. It resolves itself into a matter mat-ter of conscience. Why don't you sro .and ask your pastor?" "I did," said the boy, "and he sent me to you." Chicago Tribune. Examiner (reading from list of printed print-ed questions "What were the so-called blue laws?" Applicant (for civil office) "I guess they were the laws that was passed for makin' the milk pure." Examiner "There isn't any answer here, but I think that's right." A CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MOTHER. Since ma sot Christian Science us boys are dead in luck-No luck-No hot old mustard plasters upon our chests are stuck: She never puts the ginger upon the stove to boil, . Nor doses up us children with that old castor oil. She just says: "Look here, children; no need for you to sauall: You think your stomach's aching? There's no such thing at all." Since ma got Christian Science she doesn't use a whit) To punish us, but simply makes puckers In her lio, And thinks, and thinks Tight at us, until she near goes blind. And then she says she's whipped us by whipping in her mind. That is the absent treatment, but anyone j can see j That it doesn't make connections with such a boy as me. But pa now, he is diffrent. When he's at home he'll say, "You children best be careful not to be bad today." You just believe we're Careful,. 'cause pa, he says that he Will give us switching science, hot from the willov.' tree. And as for absent treatment, why, he savs, with a wink, "I'll tend to all the switchln' Ma can stand by and wink." Baltimore American. cy |