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Show A patronizing young woman of Cincinnati Cin-cinnati was being shown through a government school for Indians, when she came to a fine-looking Indian girl of perhaps sixteen years of age. The Indian girl was hemming papkins, which the girl from Cincinnati watched for some moments in silence. Then she said to the Indian, "Are you civilized?" The Sioux raised her head slowly from her work and glanced coldly at her interrogator. "No," she replied, as her eyes again sank to her napkins, "are you?" "I suppose you are a prettv - good chauffeur by this time," remarked the man on the sidewalk. "Yes," answered the man at the steering wheel. "I ran over six people last week, and never hurt the machine a bit." Chicago News. An acquaintance called on some ladies in an Alabama town who hafc at the time been wearied by an apparently endless succession of callers. The door was opened by Augustus Butts, the faithful old butler. "Are the ladies in?" asked the caller. , "No. ma'am, they'se all out." "I'm sorry that I missed them," continued con-tinued the visitor, handing him her cards. "I particularly wished to see Mrs. Jones." "Yes, ma'am, thank yo ma'am," replied re-plied Augustus. "They'se all out, ma'am, and Mrs. Jones is particularly out, ma'am." Argonaut. . "The Swelltons seem to keep up an imposing establishment," remarked the canned-goods drummer. ."You bet they do." replied the gro- eery man, with a sign long drawn out, "and I'm one o the fellows they impose im-pose on." Chicago News. Authoress (of the budding variety) I got level with the editor last night. He always rejects my manuscripts. But I have had my revenge. Friend How did you do it? Authoress I declined his son, with thanks. Pick-Me-Up. The star pupil arose at the school entertainment to declaim his piece. "Lend me your ears!" he bawled. Ha: sneered the mother of the opposition, op-position, but defeated pupil, "that's Sarah Jane Baggs' boy. He wouldn't be his mother's son if he didn't want to borrow something." Baltimore American. "If you'H notice," said Finnick, "the poets invariably refer to the earth as 'she.' Why should the earth be considered con-sidered feminine, I'd like to know?" "Why not?" replied Sinnick. "Nobody "No-body seems to know just how old the earth is." Philadelphia Press. Mrs. Exe Good-bye. I'm sorry my husband isn't in. I wish I knew some way of keeping him home a little more. Mrs. Wye. Let him buy a motor car. Mrs. Exe. Why, he'd be out more than ever then. Mrs. Wve Oh. dear, no' Atrc racVi er tells me her husband bought a motor mo-tor a few days ago, and the doctor says he won't bfe out for six weeks. Illustrated Illus-trated Bits. "Young Dr. Walker always impressed im-pressed me as having nerves of iron, judging by the cool way he performs the most serious operations," remarked his friend, "but yesterday when I met him in consultation he was the most excited man I have seen for a long while." "It must have been a most unusual and extraordinary case." "No; one of the doctor's own children chil-dren had an attack of measles." " An old woman was being questioned by a lawyer as to how a testator had looked when he made a remark to her about some relatives. "Now, how can I remember? He's been dead two years," she answered, testily. "Is your memory so poor that you can't remember two years back?" he persisted. The old woman was silent, and the lawyer asked: "Did he look anything like me?" "Seems to tme he did have the same sort of vacant look," '"sponded the witness. wit-ness. The lawyer had no further questions to ask her. |